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| Tanos |
on Thu 8 Jul 10, 8:24 PM to the O_and_P group.
Some of the threads have touched on the idea of O&P being a big tent, that can accomodate lots of types of D/s and M/s relationship.
This was very much the intention: on the one hand, to include the D/s people who don't like the terms "master" and "slave", possibly for historical reasons, possibly because ownership isn't their dynamic; and on the other, to have a term that doesn't go as far as including uses of "D/s" that really mean doing SM scenes without any transfer of authority. That still leaves an awful lot of people in the tent 
However, there's another dimension to it: the manifesto sets out some goals, such as ethical standards and responsibility, that try to narrow the types of people in the tent, without narrowing the types of relationships represented.
This too was quite intentional: I want to make life difficult for the characters who don't care about those standards - like those who promise one thing one week just to get what they want, and then discard people the next. The doms and subs who sneak around behind each others' backs, saying whatever's necessary that day, rather than doing the work to make their life the way they really want it.
There are some other systems out there that mix a set of relationship types with ethical principles (some of the Leather subculture in the US for instance), but it's pretty rare. Mostly, it's good people doing it all themselves, without the mutual support you get from something public that you can associate yourself with, that would make your life difficult if you were a rat
For those of us who are not rats, that's a handy thing to have going on in the world. Rather like a voluntary code of practice: it makes it harder for the cowboys, without needing some intrusive governing body to run everyone's lives.
Regards,
Tanos
(For the paranoid: this has been prompted by the topic, not by any revelation about anyone being a rat in their relationships recently, btw.)
| 9 Jul 10, 5:53 PM Degenerate UK(M), 5 yrs   |
I like the manifesto and the concepts witrhin it and how they relate to responsibility and integrity and duty of care. I am biting back saying 'but don't all dominants do that stuff?' As you know I really like the focus on responsibility and the term possession as it describes the process towards ownership, during which the enslavement begins to happen ..which I think takes lots of work to complete and I certainly haven't got there yet - I take more and more time these days, as the few times I try to begin this process, it invariably becomes untenble for various reasons eventually. which is pretty heartbreaking.. so now I go for an extended and stringent training program of increasing control by increments.. to see how far the submissive can go. I feel I am aware now more than I have ever been that there are hardly any submissives (with) suitable (potential) for real ownership out there, and a lot of people who like the fantasy of it. At this rate I'm beginning to feel an ownership collar will never be something I give for all sorts of reasons mainly due to having a very full life and the amount of direct effort one relationship of this kind requires, at least at the training stage (does it ever calm down?!) .
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