This post is on the Other BDSM web board.
| 5 Jul 10, 7:20 AM MissyG UK(MK), 8 yrs   |
I am on a vanilla dating site, there are loads of ICers on there, most message me to say they are on ic, it's quite interesting seeing a vanilla side of a person, because you don't see that via the ic profile, they also tend to put pictures up there, but I actually like dating vanilla men, I think years of blokes memoing me on kink sites purely because I am an object of their needs & not really seen as a person with a brain has led me there, they have no agendas, we can talk about vanilla stuff, I love it. -:|:- London Munch -:|:- LondonAlternativeMarket -:|:- | |
| 5 Jul 10, 8:50 AM leopard99 UK(N), 2 yrs  |
About 2/3rds of the way down this page there's a rope bondage photo. Legs only. Shows that somebody there is thinking about our specialist interests. | |
| 5 Jul 10, 11:00 AM kraMdaM UK(RM), 3 yrs  |
I have been on P.O.F for nearly 3 years now with now joy. I just get messed about all the time on there.
I was on Alt.com and paid for that for a year with no luck either. I am on 'be naughty' I haven't paid as yet but am considering it as It does seem a fairly genuine site. Anybody else on there? I am definitely going to try this Ok Cupid you have mentioned I just see this on Google too... http://www.okcupid.com/quizzy/take?id=4590558168... | |
| 5 Jul 10, 12:12 PM anncat UK(ST), 7 yrs |
I am on OK Cupid.... I must admit I'm not particularly active on there - seeing as so many kinksters are on there, I may change that  | |
| 5 Jul 10, 12:17 PM littlenic 5 yrs |
Another vote for OK Cupid here. I think I joined a "vanilla" site a) knowing there were some kinksters on there so not that vanilla and b) because for a lot of people, I'd imagine they know they're dominant / kinky but wouldn't think to look for a specific site for that, or maybe wouldn't feel comfortable on a specific BDSM site. It's not hard to find the kinksters there, with some subtle (or not so subtle!) wording and by choosing to do the right tests... | |
| 5 Jul 10, 12:30 PM bohnanza UK(FK), 12 yrs |
I have a profile on OKCupid. In the last week three localish, to me, ICers have appeared as my matches, all of whom I have met. There may be more ICers out there as matches who I haven't met. I have never contacted anyone on OKCupid who I didn't already know and no one has ever contacted me on it. Why don't cash machines have a Gamble button? | |
| 5 Jul 10, 1:46 PM kraMdaM UK(RM), 3 yrs |
Anyone on dominate-me.com? I have it saved but have not registered yet!! | |
| 5 Jul 10, 4:09 PM FairyGirl UK(YO), 3 yrs   |
OkCupid is what I have to thank for @LittleLadyBecca  "Nothing saves anyone's life, Sir. It just postpones their death." - Posner , The History Boys. | |
| 5 Jul 10, 4:43 PM tony999 UK, 5 yrs |
Fella. It just isn't like that. Those of us that enjoy elements of BDSM mostly aren't a different species or subset of what generally gets refered to as 'Vanilla'. It isn't them against us and so let's use secret signals so 'pervs' may identify with each other, and so exclude the 'normal' folk. Of course I do see the attraction of that view, of that mindset, of thinking that we're the ones that really know how to enjoy sex or even life compared to all those normal folk out there, but you will find that the vast majority of women be it on whipmytits.com or Match.com are looking to experience freindship laughter love and passion. I have found that power exchange is a natural part of that. To be kinky and to tell someone that you're on a dating site is not a confession. The more you try to see things as seperate the less you will see what actually is. The more you label and seperate the blinder you will become to all human nature. Peoples sexuality is partly made up of who they are but also largely made up of how you intereact with whoever you're with. If you're open and if you're fearless it will evolve. Now I'm not saying that someone with a life long penchant for extreme torture and degradation coupled with gangbangs and rape play will be able to have a fullfilling relationship with someone who believes sex is best over as quickly as possible with the lights off.
But then you never know. Truth is though, we're people first and so are the 'vanillas'. Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. Edited 5 Jul 10, 5:59 PM by tony999 | |
| 5 Jul 10, 5:19 PM CaptainQuo UK(AB), 2 yrs |
Im on quite a few sites (not that I'm desperate or anything  ) but mostly use IC, OkCupid and Match.com.Unfortunately, here in Aberdeen you don't find many goth chicks or kinksters on either, let alone people who happen to be both. Although I read one girl's profile who said she was slightly submissive, and she wrote about how she got bombarded with offers to tie her up and spank her (she didn't sound too pleased). Must be a lot of male IC'ers on there...... I've recently changed my profile of OkCupid to say I'm into BDSM and a Dom, and a day later I got a message. Hmmmmm. Might change my match.com profile to say that now. ETA: It was the kinkier tests that partially led to me exploring BDSM in the first place. Web board topics are like Pokemon. Promote discussion, debate and let them evolve; they'll grow stronger. Edited 5 Jul 10, 5:24 PM by CaptainQuo |
