 |
| relaxed1 |
on Fri 2 Jul 10, 8:04 PM to relaxed1's blog.
(even, or especially, when you don't realise you need them)
I've not blogged for a while, or not here at least, so I thought it's right to correct that.
I've continued to learn, about myself as a person. This is all due to the help of a very special and incredibly tolerant person. That I remain single no longer seems important. Nor that I have basically been celibate for the past six months. None of this matters because I have grown so much, more than I would have imagined possible in such a short time.
I know it seems absurd to blog on IC about nothing to do with BDSM. And it is. But this is all to do with BDSM whilst making no mention of it. The reason, as has become clear to me, is that if I am to be happy in whatever turn may be around the next corner, what is most important is that the fundamentals are right. The BDSM stuff will naturally follow, as night follows day. I have no need to list out screeds of likes and dislikes – these have, in any case, changed so much over the years.
I was obsessed (yes, I don't think that is overstating it) that my having MS would make me undesirable. For sure it does indeed, to some. But then they are also often the same people who list their own wants – which has always been a total turn-off. You see, the person who may be perfect for me may well have no preconceived ideas of what or who her perfect man will be. She will know what she doesn't want (I think we all do), but beyond that she will simply know who she is and what she needs out of life.
Reaching this understanding, which I freely admit is not something I have been able to do alone, has enabled me to relax, not to worry whether anything happens today, tomorrow, next week, next month – or perhaps ever. I used to feel that I was incomplete without a special person in my life. Now I know, with absolute certainty, that this is not true. I also know that I will meet that person if I meet her. If I don't, then I will still be happy. I am happy now, more so since I was helped to understand.
I thoroughly recommend to anyone who feels that they need someone else to be complete, to find a good friend, someone whose tolerance seemingly knows no bounds, to tell you straight.
| 2 Jul 10, 9:56 PM Manson UK(M), 2 yrs |
I can relate to that about the list of wants being a turn off! It sounds like you have a truly special friend/person in your life who has helped you be more than you were, and it's edifying to read your appreciation and inspiring to hear about your growth. Thanks for sharing. As soon as you trust yourself, you will know how to live. - Goethe. Edited 2 Jul 10, 9:57 PM by Manson |
| 2 Jul 10, 11:19 PM Sadistia UK(NG), 10 yrs |
Yes thanks for sharing, an admirable post. Sx. |
| 3 Jul 10, 8:57 AM anncat UK(ST), 7 yrs |
I like this blog - friends are so important. I too have a very close friend, at times I feel he gives me so much of what I need emotionally that I don't look hard enough for a lover/partner/t'other half. When I do find someone who I think is extra special, they don't quite understand my relationship with my friend, so sadly they have to go.... cos friendship is everything to me  |
| 3 Jul 10, 10:02 AM WideEyedMinx UK(N), 2 yrs |
A lovely thoughtful post. Friends are the rock and the constant, lovers can be flakey and variable. Good friends are hard to find and should be nurtured and tended, just like a gorgeous bloom .. I have relied on my friends so much through tough times and I'm always there when they need me... You are lucky to have such a mate .. x It's a beautiful world, just enjoy it. |
