Try before you let fly? (19)

Quite. But that was my point about not even being able to bear it fairly hard - the person who whipped me said it was 'only' 'fairly' hard. But it felt really hard.

I posted that reply in the early hours of the morning when I was tired. In hindsight I should've explained that point you picked up on then.

I actually saw the funny side of it when it happened I stood there expecting this 'fairly' hard lash but really felt it!

It wasn't a pre-arranged testing or anything like that though. It was just random as he had a whip to hand and I mentioned it. But, yes, you're right, it *was* from cold, a bit like the whipping equivalent of judicial, as opposed to regular, caning.

It was funny though

Edited 28 Jun 10, 11:07 PM by Dapper_Dom

I think there are different kind of men involved here. Some men / Doms are 'A' types - they charge in, learn on the go, not really inclined to 'read the instructions'. Others are 'by the book' types - they are the list makers, the planners. You can be sure that they will always have a cutting knife, a first aid kit and some antiseptic spray attached to their utility belts.

I do mock the second kind sometimes, but there is a lot to be said for that type of approach. I know health and safety is not a 'sexy' topic on the IC boards, but perhaps this careful concern and attention to detail is something Doms can do to change some of the negative stereotypes that are associated with male Doms.

I know that, as a submissive, nothing gets my respect better than a Dom whose primary concern is my well being - even if that does mean boring questionnaires, always doubling checking that things are safe, or stopping play if they think things are not.

subbie xxx

Yeah, I'm inclined to agree. My last LTR dom kept bandage scissors in a very obvious spot in his playroom and was meticulous about testing toys on himself, although certainly not in an obsessive geeky way. He was just very aware of the need to minimise risks as lot of his kinks could be considered risky. He impressed me from the off (before we'd even played) that he knew the first aid drill for an epileptic fit.

By contrast, the one before that was a total control freak in a bad way. He would never admit to being lost in the car and absolutely hated it when I'd finally wind down the window to ask for directions. He'd never read a manual either but then get totally frustrated by what he was trying to build or fix. Sigh.

I'm not into obsession with Elf n Safety but I'd rather play with someone who's taken some time to think things through than charge in. Because I have a disability, the last thing I want is the "charge in" type panicking if I have a fit, calling 999 unnecessarily and possibly doing the wrong sort of first aid on me, like trying to put a spoon in my mouth.

Aut disce aut discede. Manet sors tertia caedi

I think you raise several good points and one iffy one.

My argument to the above point is "No, because all sensation is subjective and masochism will also have an influence on that. Something that might be excruciating for me could be middling (give it more shoulder) for my submissive. Likewise something that I can barely feel might be excruciating for the subbie.

You can only ever get an approximation from trying things on yourself.

"If you're fucked in the head, you're fucked in the head. Don't turn it in to lifestyle."

Practise senseless acts of beauty.

Edited 13 Jul 10, 11:02 AM by Cassius

I protest! I have never said that.

f x

Cookie Monster In Bondage!

I didn't mean women have less of a hang up about experiencing pain (which would indeed be a silly thing to ask), I meant do they have less of a hang up about "I am a big bad Dom therefore I wouldn't lower myself and risk my uber-Domly reputation by doing something that only a masochist would properly do. *Shock horror*."

Grr. Just grrr.

Edited 17 Jul 10, 12:10 PM by NimueBanditQueen

and as a few of my hobbies are quite dangerous i have to be a trained First Aider for some of the licences i hold, not so much dull as necessary, and yes i have a first aid kit including knife most of the time.

Stercus accidit

Limited experience here too but so far I've tried all our hitty stuff on myself first. Nothing too extreme as, no, "I don't do pain" but a few hits to the thigh or upper arm to get some idea. Well it's only polite isn't it ? I mean if you're going to smack someones arse purple it's good to know what you're doing it with.

I've got a pair of safety shears but have to admit I've not tested them so should probably cut some rope just too see if they're up to the job, ohhh my poor rope, I processed it all myself such a shame to cut it. Mmm maybe I'd better get some more to test them out on, yeah that's a plan, more rope.

Of course, as already mentioned, subjectivity can be a problem. Recently I announced I was off to the shed to make a nice suprise for later, spent a couple of hours planning down a bit of old wood until I had a nice new paddle. As I planned it I kept checking it was effective but was working with the thought that thin would be sharp and stingy. Any way it worked on me. Later on we started playing, visually (I hung it on a chair for a bit of anticipation) it did the trick then I started in with it only to get a response along the lines of "are you going to hit me then or what". I tried harder and harder but stopped as I didn't want to snap it and spend the evening pulling out splinters.

So I'm not too sure how much value to place in testing on myself but will continue to do so as I do think it's only good manners