MaleDominantCrowd's profile . MaleDominantCrowd group posts
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| NimueBanditQueen |
on Sun 27 Jun 10, 11:28 PM to the MaleDominantCrowd group.
I have limited experience to go on, but from my small (probably too small to be statistically significant) sample so far I have seen a definite trend forming.
On asking whether a particular implement of destruction has been tested by the dominant on themselves to establish how it feels, the answer has invariably been "No, I'm a Dominant, I don't do pain."
Hands up all those who have bought the rope, but do not have (or carry) the correct item to cut through it in case of emergency? Or who have no idea of even basic first aid?
Isn't this against the supposed ideal practice? (I'm not entirely sure why though). This is true both in my experience and in my observation to the level where when one person did do something entirely by the book I was actually surprised.
It also seems to me to be more of a male dominant thing...is there is an implicit feeling that to prepare for things to go wrong is to imply or allow room for a lack of confidence?
Do women have less of a hang-up about these things?
| 28 Jun 10, 1:41 AM Dapper_Dom 2 yrs |
That's an interesting point that I hope turns into a healthy discussion. I have very rarely heard it even mentioned by anyone. Neither Tops or bottoms, male or female. I'm glad someone brought it up.
I have had most of my implements tried on me, nearly always by the Master who makes them for me. Admittedly, and unsurprisingly Edited 28 Jun 10, 1:44 AM by Dapper_Dom | ||
| 28 Jun 10, 2:10 AM NimueBanditQueen UK(MK), 2 yrs |
Well good for you anyway. At least you have some idea how things feel. I don't think anyone would say you have to hit yourself in the most extreme way, but just to have some knowledge should be useful. Looking for – a wolf in sheep's clothing! | ||
| 28 Jun 10, 2:27 AM Dapper_Dom 2 yrs |
Highlighting by me.
But I can't bear to be hit even *fairly* hard when trying/testing gear, nilla... I once tried being whipped fast and hard. Just once, just one hard lash, just to see how it feels. It was enough to make me lose the little interest I had in whipping and not purchase a whip or pursue it further. Edited 28 Jun 10, 2:28 AM by Dapper_Dom | ||
| 28 Jun 10, 2:33 AM Filth_Wizard UK(RM), 8 yrs |
I'm not sure how often others test their kit on themselves, but it's a fairly regular thing for me. I don't revel in the pain, but how am I supposed to be able to shell out such sadism if I've no idea what I'm giving? I try things at the stall - at LAM or the like - or when they're delivered; and then I try them when I know I have a session coming up to make sure I have a combination that fits the scene's mood/levels. It's like anyone else who makes things - a cook doesn't serve food they haven't tried, an author writing that they haven't read, and so on. Those who give and create pain should be in the same boat. Chuck your boyfriend, have a sandwich. | ||
| 28 Jun 10, 6:26 AM meganne_in_spain UK(PR), 4 yrs |
I've had quite a few different play meets and have to agree with nilla_in_the_woods that most Doms, in my personal experience, are reluctant to even the consider the possiblilty that they should experience the sensation/pain that any toy they wish to use may bring ... I can't speak for Dommes, as my experience is too limited and the question was never asked! It certainly makes a refreshing and pleasant change when I have met a Dom who has tried his toys on himself, or even, God forbid, switched! Edited 28 Jun 10, 6:28 AM by meganne_in_spain | ||
| 28 Jun 10, 10:15 AM Purvection UK(M), 8 yrs     |
Isn't it the same gene that means men won't read a map and insist they know the route when driving? Or can assemble flat-pack furniture without checking the instructions, only to cave in 37 hours later? I'm only slightly joking here. Men do seem to have a tend to charge in and check later for many things. I'm reassured if I'm playing with someone I know has tested a toy on himself. It matters not if he's not a switch or a masochist. A good dom, in my view, will have a good idea what he's dishing out. And sometimes the only way to know that is to self-test.
Aut disce aut discede. Manet sors tertia caedi | ||
| 28 Jun 10, 9:47 PM Grasshopper UK(SE), 2 yrs |
Partly because I like using things from around the house to hit people with, I make a point of testing things so I know what I'm doing, and there have been one or two things I've rejected because they were harsher than I wanted (although one of those, a wire coathanger opened up and folded back on itself once, is a cheap and very nasty way to deliver stinging pain). Oh, well, that's easy. Tucker's Law: If some cunt can fuck something up, that cunt will pick the worst possible time to fucking fuck it up because that cunt's a cunt. I've got that embroidered on a teatowel at home. | ||
| 28 Jun 10, 10:48 PM NimueBanditQueen UK(MK), 2 yrs |
I might be wrong but given the whole endorphin-thing, which takes time to build up, it seems to me you might have entirely misunderstood the manner of use of the thing in the first place? Back to school for you Dapper Dom! And surely there is a difference between 'fast and hard' and *fairly* hard'? Looking for – a wolf in sheep's clothing! | ||
| 28 Jun 10, 10:48 PM NimueBanditQueen UK(MK), 2 yrs |
Agreed! Looking for – a wolf in sheep's clothing! | ||
| 28 Jun 10, 10:52 PM NimueBanditQueen UK(MK), 2 yrs |
I suspect so
Have we found the fabled 'acid test' for sorting the 'men' from the 'Doms'? Looking for – a wolf in sheep's clothing! |
, as I am not a masochist he has always done it lightly in the case of hitty things, but as I'm not really physically sadistic anyway that's not really an issue, as I'm far more into D/s than S&M. 
