at myself.
i have just come off the phone from talking to a very dear friend whos husband died today.
i was dreading making the call, but knew that i had to call. i was crying uncontrolably during and after the call and likening it to being the hardest call that i have ever had to make.
This is why i am so angry at myself. Here i am feeling bad for how i am feeling when this wonderful woman i am talking to is having to come to terms with losing the man that she has spent most of her adult life with, and having to try to keep it all together for her and her children through this harrowing time.
So here i am being totally selfish and now feeling thoroughly ashamed of myself.
Oh i know that its perhaps natural to dread doing something that we know is the right thing to do. But sometimes i do hate myself when i witness just how selfish i can be.
i know that there is nothing practical that i can do for her, and i guess that frustrates me and angers me too.
Right now though i am going to allow myself to feel the sorrow at the passing of a beautiful human being but also revel in the fact that at last this man is out of his pain and has/is moving onto something and somewhere better where pain is unknown.
16 Jun 10, 10:21 PM
sub_chick
UK(SN), 3 yrs
 |
Point of it is you made the call, you spoke to her, shared your feelings with her. Some people will prefer to avoid the bereft because they don't want to make that call, to have that conversation, believe me when i say i'm sure she appreciated it so much. To hear someone on the end of the line when the house is so quiet, to hear someone talking about your loved one, well helps, it's not easy no, but i'm sure she values your friendship so much in her time of sorrow.
Just my thoughts, big hugs to you all and you're all in my prayers 
K_s x |
16 Jun 10, 10:23 PM
xCallyx
UK, 5 yrs
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Kissable_sub wrote:
Point of it is you made the call, you spoke to her, shared your feelings with her. Some people will prefer to avoid the bereft because they don't want to make that call, to have that conversation, believe me when i say i'm sure she appreciated it so much. To hear someone on the end of the line when the house is so quiet, to hear someone talking about your loved one, well helps, it's not easy no, but i'm sure she values your friendship so much in her time of sorrow.
Just my thoughts, big hugs to you all and you're all in my prayers
K_s x
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thank you so much for your kind words, i hadnt really thought of it in that way. And thank you also for your prayers The bottom half of GC INC
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16 Jun 10, 10:28 PM
jules9
UK(CH), 3 yrs
   |
Kissable_sub wrote:
Point of it is you made the call, you spoke to her, shared your feelings with her. Some people will prefer to avoid the bereft because they don't want to make that call, to have that conversation, believe me when i say i'm sure she appreciated it so much. To hear someone on the end of the line when the house is so quiet, to hear someone talking about your loved one, well helps, it's not easy no, but i'm sure she values your friendship so much in her time of sorrow.
Just my thoughts, big hugs to you all and you're all in my prayers
K_s x
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Every word is agreed with - be kinder to yourself Cally - your friend will need you, and to be there for her, you need to treat yourself as well as you'd treat anyone else.
XxX |
16 Jun 10, 10:38 PM
xCallyx
UK, 5 yrs
|
jules9 wrote:
Kissable_sub wrote:
Point of it is you made the call, you spoke to her, shared your feelings with her. Some people will prefer to avoid the bereft because they don't want to make that call, to have that conversation, believe me when i say i'm sure she appreciated it so much. To hear someone on the end of the line when the house is so quiet, to hear someone talking about your loved one, well helps, it's not easy no, but i'm sure she values your friendship so much in her time of sorrow.
Just my thoughts, big hugs to you all and you're all in my prayers
K_s x
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Every word is agreed with - be kinder to yourself Cally - your friend will need you, and to be there for her, you need to treat yourself as well as you'd treat anyone else.
XxX
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thanks for that Jules, and yes i know that i am being hard on myself, but at least in doing this blog i have managed to get some of my anger at me out of my system. The bottom half of GC INC
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16 Jun 10, 10:42 PM
sub_chick
UK(SN), 3 yrs
|
xCallyx wrote:
jules9 wrote:
Kissable_sub wrote:
Point of it is you made the call, you spoke to her, shared your feelings with her. Some people will prefer to avoid the bereft because they don't want to make that call, to have that conversation, believe me when i say i'm sure she appreciated it so much. To hear someone on the end of the line when the house is so quiet, to hear someone talking about your loved one, well helps, it's not easy no, but i'm sure she values your friendship so much in her time of sorrow.
Just my thoughts, big hugs to you all and you're all in my prayers
K_s x
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Every word is agreed with - be kinder to yourself Cally - your friend will need you, and to be there for her, you need to treat yourself as well as you'd treat anyone else.
XxX
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thanks for that Jules, and yes i know that i am being hard on myself, but at least in doing this blog i have managed to get some of my anger at me out of my system.
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That's the beauty of forums though, you say all the things you need to and get points of view from elsewhere, sometimes life clouds our judgement and it'll take someone elses view to have you look at things from a brand new angle...but still i think you did an awesome thing
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16 Jun 10, 10:46 PM
innocent_traitor
UK(LE), 6 yrs
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Do not be angry with yourself
You took the time to be there for your friend regardless of how hard you found it on yourself
Take time to look after yourself St Frelly of gutterland
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16 Jun 10, 10:47 PM
candlefire
2 yrs |
Your tears are what she needed. Sharing in sorrow. I would have loved you for them. |
16 Jun 10, 10:48 PM
xCallyx
UK, 5 yrs
|
Kissable_sub wrote:
xCallyx wrote:
jules9 wrote:
Kissable_sub wrote:
Point of it is you made the call, you spoke to her, shared your feelings with her. Some people will prefer to avoid the bereft because they don't want to make that call, to have that conversation, believe me when i say i'm sure she appreciated it so much. To hear someone on the end of the line when the house is so quiet, to hear someone talking about your loved one, well helps, it's not easy no, but i'm sure she values your friendship so much in her time of sorrow.
Just my thoughts, big hugs to you all and you're all in my prayers
K_s x
|
Every word is agreed with - be kinder to yourself Cally - your friend will need you, and to be there for her, you need to treat yourself as well as you'd treat anyone else.
XxX
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thanks for that Jules, and yes i know that i am being hard on myself, but at least in doing this blog i have managed to get some of my anger at me out of my system.
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That's the beauty of forums though, you say all the things you need to and get points of view from elsewhere, sometimes life clouds our judgement and it'll take someone elses view to have you look at things from a brand new angle...but still i think you did an awesome thing
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thank you from a now very humble cally The bottom half of GC INC
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16 Jun 10, 10:49 PM
xCallyx
UK, 5 yrs
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frelly wrote:
Do not be angry with yourself
You took the time to be there for your friend regardless of how hard you found it on yourself
Take time to look after yourself
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thank you frelly i will do my best The bottom half of GC INC
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16 Jun 10, 10:50 PM
xCallyx
UK, 5 yrs
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candlefire wrote:
Your tears are what she needed. Sharing in sorrow. I would have loved you for them.
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i just felt so helpless and wish that i could have been of more use, thank you for your very kind words candlefire The bottom half of GC INC
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