Posted by kaoskitten on Sun 13 Jun 10, 3:38 PM to kaoskitten's blog.
Thirteen months ago, almost to the day, i was sat in my city-centre flat, bottle of wine in hand, one empty spinning inanely on the floor, alone, unemployed and about to be evicted...
Is my birthday this Wednesday and back then i was looking forward (sic) to it with dread, another day alone, no contact with a an uninterested family, 250 miles away from the few friends i have and facing a harsh reality of moving to a vermin infested bedsit in a bad part of town
Father's Day was immediately after my birthday, as it looms now, for a son i haven't seen for 7 years and back then only a year after my own father's death...to say it was a hopeless time would be no exaggeration, if not largely my own fault
i didn't know it at the time but there was somebody out there, who i'd met without actually even knowing it, who was watching over me and, again unknown to me, sharing my tears as i bared open my heart on these very pages...somebody who cared
This Wednesday i'll be 44 and in the space of the last year my life is transformed...
i am in love, have purpose, am allowed to be what i am without condition nor judgement, indeed loved for it...i don't have to hide anymore...either myself or my feelings and i am loved in return in ways i have never experienced
i am, to an extent, reborn...re-motivated and feel capable of achieving all the things that i want to achieve...for both of U/us
i look forward to Wednesday immensely, and whilst to a great degree i will miss my son as usual next Sunday, the pain is less acute and i know my hand is being held and i am safe
i owe all of this to one beautiful, patient person who has a level of understanding, a depth of generosity and love i have never encountered and am privileged and lucky to have given to me...
Thank You Mistress, my soulmate and Beautiful Spirit, from the bottom my heart, i hope i can only aspire to bring to Your life the joy, peace and love You have brought to mine... xxx
.......
Oh, and She's taking me for my first trip to Alton Towers for my birthday...and the first ride i'm going on is 'Thirteen'...
...squuueeeeeeeeeee !
kitten xx
| 15 Jun 10, 4:35 PM Slut_Juki UK(PO), 2 yrs   |
So glad you have found happiness and A Very Happy Birthday for tomorrow. xx
Edited 15 Jun 10, 4:36 PM by Slut_Juki |
| 15 Jun 10, 5:41 PM kaoskitten 7 yrs |
Thank you honey, take care of yourself and regards to the big fella xx Bind me, gag me, beat me and make me yours - kk (I have - bop_it |
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