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| MsGiggles |
on Thu 10 Jun 10, 4:18 PM to MsGiggles's blog.
Sometimes it hurts as if cold fists were squeezing my heart and then I scream at the wrong people and cling to the even wronger ones and my screams sound ridiculous and sad although they come from the only honest place I know.
Apparently, it is one of the most common problems in London. And it is linked to mental illnesses. Now THAT is a scary thought - to be perfectly lovely and normal - and to slowly go mad - just because there is nobody there.
| 10 Jun 10, 4:30 PM LisaLJ UK(DY), 6 yrs |
Hugs because I know that feeling. Here's a link to something a read in the Guardian a little while ago: - http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2010/may/...
Take care We ain't too funky about our monkey | |
| 10 Jun 10, 4:37 PM MsGiggles UK(BR), 6 yrs |
I could have written that. Thanks!!! Only really tall conductors can deal adequately with slow music. | |
| 10 Jun 10, 4:50 PM Corwin UK(L), 11 yrs |
An exceptionally well written piece. Thank you for posting it. If you look in the mirror and don't like what you see Edited 14 Jun 10, 8:45 AM by Corwin | |
| 10 Jun 10, 5:00 PM fluffy_welsh_angel UK(DN), 6 yrs |
It really is one of the worst feelings in the world. Loneliness when surrounded by people is the only thing I think can top it. Mew | |
| 10 Jun 10, 5:01 PM HertfordshireDom UK(AL), 6 yrs |
*hugs* Sorry to hear that, but can certainly sympathise with you on that  As was told to me, it will get better  | |
| 10 Jun 10, 5:05 PM Phoenyx UK(NW), 4 yrs |
I have often theorised that the 2 most destructive forces on human emotions, are lonliness and guilt. And lonliness is worse. Because guilt you can recover from on your own. You can get therapy and closure and forgiveness, and you can some how find a way to move on. But lonliness... there is no way of curing it until other people come into your life and make an impact, and that is something we have very little control over as individuals. We can of course force ourselves to be social, and interact with friends and meet new people, but at the end of the day, coming home to an empty flat night after night and sleeping in an empty bed is crippling. And every day alone makes the fight against lonliness harder. And I dont think that lonliness is just caused by lack of interaction with the world. I think lonliness comes from inside us. From a feeling of being different or seperate from the world. Of being around people, and yet not feeling like you belong there. You have my utmost sympathy, and I have no answers to give you. Just know that you are not alone, in feeling alone. 'I guess you go too far, when pianos try to be guitars' | |
| 10 Jun 10, 6:05 PM MistressBloke 5 yrs |
It doesn't just happen in London, I found it relatively OK there once I got my head around it. Though the first estate I lived on was condemned and very imposing. I never should have moved back to my home town and old faces and situations. Even worse, I've hated the village where I've lived for the past 10 years. It has got still more pathetic since the cut the bus service in down to 6pm. I've fallen in with bad people, especially bad women, and bad habits and just become more and more depressed and desperate. All I can really say for the last ten years is that there have been some great temporary escapes into new places and into honeymoon periods of relationships. Also, that while alone and broke in my flat I did do some good work on coding and writing for a time. Most the time I have been utterly miserable, lacking purpose or getting drunk to forget that I am. It's a universal position, it's not specific to any particular place of living. At least in London there are galleries, socieites and so forth that offer the possibility of meeting people. I guess if you're a timid or vulnerable person anyhwere it's possible to fall into situations of social isolation, also if you are "different". English villages can be really nasty to strangers and London is basically an interconnected set of villages, but at least there are parts of London that are so metropolitan that virtually everyone is a stranger to everone else. "I am not an atomic playboy" - Vice Admiral W.H.R. Blandy Commander of the Bikini Test | |
| 10 Jun 10, 8:11 PM candlefire 2 yrs |
The only respite, is to be with someone who also is inside alone. One main reason none of my previous relationships lasted was because my Exes, loving, kind that they were, never understood. Same for my friends. Wonderful that they are, they don't get it. I know when i feel deep inside that void, i don't want advice, i don't want sympathy, i don't want to be around anyone. I just want someone who loves and understands to just be there.
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| 10 Jun 10, 9:21 PM sparkysbabe 8 yrs |
@candlefire @Phoenyx (and everyone else) I relate to all that you have said, and it's almost a relief that there are others that feel the same and are experiencing similar feelings to those I am experiencing again at present. I am surrounded by people, my four children daily, and my vanilla friends, but they don't 'get' me at all, and there is no reason they should, I don't get myself half the time. I tell people I'm 'complicated' because a part of me wants them to enquire, yet another wants to keep them away, but the reality is I am screaming out for someone to just hold me, put their strong arms around and say that they'll always be there for me no matter what. It's most definitely not just in London, I live in the countryside surrounded by beauty, animals, wildlife and fresh air and still feel this way. I have to accept it is a part of who I am, and slowly, very slowly I think I may well be understanding that, after all, looking back, I've been like it since I was a teenager. | |
| 10 Jun 10, 11:30 PM little_miss_cheeky UK(ME), 3 yrs |
Hugs lots of hugs, Am feeling very much the same way atm. han Edited 10 Jun 10, 11:34 PM by little_miss_cheeky |
