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| AshUK |
I've just been reading a couple of interesting threads on emotional sadism / making subs cry, which sparked a fresh round of thinking in my head and so I thought I'd try and capture some of it...
Now, I love emotional sadism during a scene. Getting a girl on the floor, blindfolded and gagged, telling her what a worthless whore she is, or how fat and ugly she is, or whatever it takes to break her down and squeeze out a tear, is huge amounts of fun.
But the problem with breaking her down is that you then have to put her back together - humpty-dumpty like - before you can do it all over again. Also, the other issue with doing it as part of a scene is precisely that; she knows it's a scene, she knows you don't really mean it, she knows you're just saying it for effect...
Now I'm not saying I've done this, or indeed would ever do it, but how much fun would it be to do the breaking down without the building back up, to do it not just part as a scene but in every other part of the relationship too ? To take a girl - intelligent, confident, self-assured - and gradually wear away at her self-belief and self-esteem until she was a ragged shell, a crippled husk, unable to survive without the scraps of comfort you throw her way. Why, with a girl like that you could get her to the point where she would let you do anything to her - and I mean anything - just to hear you murmur a handful of reassurances in her ear before you let her go to sleep.
All of which tends towards another long-standing interest of mine; that of permanent behaviour / personality modification. But that's another subject, and probably another post for another day.
But really though: to be that brutal to someone, that cold, that unfeeling, that cruel, that it fundamentally changes them for life, makes them totally dependent and pliable, desperate to please and unable to even function without you ?
Mmm.
Edited Tue 8 Jun 10, 3:58 PM by AshUK
| 8 Jun 10, 3:18 PM FluffySub UK(NN), 6 yrs      |
It's not much fun in real life Take it away from a D/s context and imagine what you're left with if that relationship breaks up. Someone who struggles to survive on their own. Keep it to play, trust me when I say the damage is very hard to undo. | ||
| 8 Jun 10, 3:20 PM AshUK UK(EN), 7 yrs £ |
To be fair, it probably is one of those things where the fantasy is better than the reality. Oh well, back to the drawing board... " Knowing your own darkness is the best method for dealing with the darknesses of other people. " Carl Jung | ||
| 8 Jun 10, 3:21 PM FluffySub UK(NN), 6 yrs |
Sorry to piss on your parade  | ||
| 8 Jun 10, 3:21 PM Miss_Despotic UK(M), 5 yrs    |
It depends on their self image. If you've someone already insecure, who looks to you for affirmation then it's only going to breed dependency.
From a submissive POV, if I'm safe in the knowledge that the abuser finds me desirable then they can be as emotionally abusive as they want- and it'll have the effect in the moment, but I'm not going to walk away with my ego bruised. Probably helps that I'm an arrogant bitch though | ||
| 8 Jun 10, 3:25 PM Miss_Despotic UK(M), 5 yrs |
? I fail to see your point? We are talking about this occurring in a D/s context? People always get very cagey when it comes to emotional sadism- from a masochistic perspective, I don't think it's any less healthy than any other sort of S&M. If it's handled correctly and responsibly by both parties, there's no need to have any long term damage | ||
| 8 Jun 10, 3:29 PM FluffySub UK(NN), 6 yrs |
I had (outside of a D/s context, admittedly) a dripping tap erosion of my self esteem and confidence for many years. Whatever the relationship, I don't know how the 'victim' of that kind of treatment will survive should the relationship break up. I'm 4 years away from it and it's only very recently that I've started to believe in myself again, and that's been with a lot of help. | ||
| 8 Jun 10, 3:32 PM Miss_Despotic UK(M), 5 yrs |
If it's not in a D/s context, I don't understand the relevance to this thread. Most of the things we engage in wouldn't be healthy if taken out of context. | ||
| 8 Jun 10, 3:34 PM AshUK UK(EN), 7 yrs £ |
To be fair, I was talking about doing it outside of a D/s context - purely because it would be more effective that way. But that's just because I'm a meanie.
" Knowing your own darkness is the best method for dealing with the darknesses of other people. " Carl Jung | ||
| 8 Jun 10, 3:35 PM Miss_Despotic UK(M), 5 yrs |
Right. I don't know why I expected anything else really. Cunt. | ||
| 8 Jun 10, 3:35 PM FluffySub UK(NN), 6 yrs |
That, to me, implies carrying it into real life. Every other part of the relationship. Put downs in front of the check out girl at Asda, being told you're unattractive whilst watching TV, being accused of things you've never done in front of your family. It may suit you but from my POV it's a dangerous way to fuck someone up for a very long time. Edited to thank Jimmy the Cunt for clarifying what I thought he meant. And edited a second time to get his name right. http://www.priorygroup.com/pg.asp?sc=0uuwd776tog... Edited 8 Jun 10, 3:47 PM by FluffySub |
