Links for everybody (dom/mes & subs) (32)

Events - Going and enjoying

Here @selena_burns_bright directly addresses concerns people could have with access to events, including getting there and funding, by asking:

"I thought i'd open this topic as a discussion and forum as to if and what problems have arisen with people accessing kink/fetish events due to their disabilities.

I'm a health professional with a passionate interest in examining barriers to expressing sexuality, and breaking down whatever barriers exist. I'm interested not just in physical disabilites like being a wheelchair user, but having hearing/visual problems,mental health issues, speech and language difficulties, learning difficulties etc."

Disability and problems with access to events

Novices_R_Us :: knot toys, butt novices

Sexy wheelchairs

Here @fifty50 asks for ideas for Dom/top from a wheelchair when little things like reaching for a knot or balancing become difficult:

"how dose one make a wheelchair convisingly kinky and domme? these are not the things one cant ask audlt srvices never mind play where evidence is left over the nexr day? HELP please"

DS disabled

Novices_R_Us :: knot toys, butt novices

Crips_Corner - Tips and tricks to get round disability

@Crips_Corner is a member-run group for those here on IC who are disabled and their partners. As posts to the group are infrequent it comes and goes in the list of member-run groups (you're de-listed after 14 days without a post).

You have to be a member of @Crips_Corner's network to both start a thread and reply directly, althogh you can 'replay-by-memo' and the moderator may then post your comment as a reply for you, explanation here: Disability Access - Closed.

Group weblog of Crips_Corner

Novices_R_Us :: knot toys, butt novices

Safe Sex - Condoms and beyond

Her @black_bunny observes how we all might be paying lip service to the concept of safe or safer sex and that to many men safe sex means contraception rather than health protection:

"It seems that the issue of safe sex is acknowledged but never really taken seriously. Condoms are seen as a nuisance rather than a necessity, and most men I speak to seem to assume I'm on some form of contraceptive that's taken by and regulated by me. I feel almost invasive when I bring the issue of condoms up, as though I'm talking to a reluctant 15 year old. I would have thought that the BDSM community, very much like the LBGTQ community, would be so aware of the risks, that they wouldn't think to not practise safe sex.

Am I in the minority here?"

Safe Sex

Novices_R_Us :: knot toys, butt novices

Anal sex - a lot of what you'd like to know

@DeCoverley asks IC whether there's a way of being health-minded for anal sex without using condoms. There are answers to that and also a wider discussion about anal sex, condoms, douches, suppositories, shit - in fact the thread becomes just shit towards the end as the posters get slightly pre-occupied with it. However it starts with this query:

"Oddly enough, I've never really got into anal sex, mostly because of concerns about hygiene. I can't use condoms (kill my passion stone dead), so wondering what preparations, short of an actual enema, anyone recommends?

Thanks… "

Anal sex hygiene

Novices_R_Us :: knot toys, butt novices

Munches, fun and open to everyone

@Kali_Ma addresses head-on the concern that some people may find the thought of walking into a room full of strange people (or should that be strangers?) a tad daunting by launching this full-blown thread in a reassuring way:

"I run a munch, infact I was co-opted into running it before I had ever been to one.

I like to think my munch is relaxed, friendly and fun. It's in a Normal Vanilla Pub all my friends and guests wear Normal (occasionally gothy) Clothes, we talk about Sport, TV, Holidays and Other Normal Things.

So I really really cannot get my head around the idea that some people find the concept so incredibly intimidating. Hell they may have been in a pub whilst a munch was going on and Never Known!!!!!

It's like those of us who have been initiated into the Secret Society of Munch Antendees are lying when all the newbies ask what it's like... WE ARE NOT LYING! Munches are fun, munches are SAFE and vanilla and you will meet some cool people!"

Why are Munches 'so scary'????

Novices_R_Us :: knot toys, butt novices

How have other people got involved from a standing start?

Here @x_one_x asks IC how other folk went from having the desire of being involved to actually being involved in the Scene:

"HellO* Hope your all keeping warm~ I am specifically wishing to hear of newbie experiences with BDSM. Did you jump into casual play or casual sexual play with willing playmates right away? Did you take it slow with one person? Hang out online a lot first?"

newbie wishing to hear other newbie experiences

Novices_R_Us :: knot toys, butt novices

Is sex always expected to be part of play?

@fluffy_welsh_angel asks very simply whether there is always an expectation of a sexual encounter in play by Doms. Lots of opinion on this one across the board:

"Why is it that for (most) men, in my and others experience, when you play with a Dom they, at the very least, think that they should get oral from the sub and anything else is a bonus.

This has not been the case with Dommes.

Even in conversation, Doms seem to think that there is something wrong if you don't want any sexual contact and say that BDSM is sexual therefore it's synonymous with sexual contact.

I disagree with this, BDSM and sex for me are separate."

BDSM and sex

Novices_R_Us :: knot toys, butt novices

Any special dietary care needed before play?

@HisHoliness makes a sensible enquiry concerning diet and play for a sub, which is information useful for everyone:

"I'm just wondering if any of the other subs on here, would be prepared to share how they prepare for playing, in terms of what to eat, how long before etc."

How to prepare and what to eat before serious play

Novices_R_Us :: knot toys, butt novices

Mobile phones ringing during play

@persia_porsche asks a simple question and stirs up a lot of points of view:

"Your 'play partner' reacting to an alert (text or call) on their mobile phone during a session, does it bother you?"

Mobiles during sessions?

Novices_R_Us :: knot toys, butt novices