This post is on the Other BDSM web board.
| Mon 31 May 10, 9:56 PM QuietlyComfortable 3 yrs |
So, recently it has occured to me that there are lots of parallels between BDSM and LBGT in terms of how people consider themselves, part of a community, part of "the scene" (and also, how they might not) - there are similar websites and events seem to work in the same way - a sort of halfway house between looking for a date and creating a support network. Has anyone else had similar thoughts, and what do you think this implies for the future of BDSM? Will society eventually accept our little community, will every girl suddenly want a kbf (kinky best friend) to help them choose shoes and slut wear? Will every university have a BDSM representative, and anyone who considers us "sexual deviants" be branded a bigot? If such a eutopia did emerge, would you like it? Would you want this? Maybe I should have posted in BDSM Activism, I'm just intrigued to hear what y'all think! | ||
| 31 May 10, 10:11 PM Grasshopper UK(SE), 2 yrs  |
It couldn't hurt. For one, all those horror stories I keep hearing about people who've been "outed" to their employers and promptly fired would become a thing of the past in record time (pretty much right up until the first person won their court case for unfair dismissal). I doubt it ever will, but it's a nice idea. I like the comparison, I've made it myself a few times and, funnily, the only person to be offended by it is gay. He got quite shirty when I made the point I have as little control over what I like as he does. Oh, well, that's easy. Tucker's Law: If some cunt can fuck something up, that cunt will pick the worst possible time to fucking fuck it up because that cunt's a cunt. I've got that embroidered on a teatowel at home. | ||
| 31 May 10, 10:35 PM kt_432 UK, 2 yrs |
I like to think there will be more acceptance in the future, but in terms of my sexuality I don't view bdsm as part of my sexuality in the same way as being gay. For me, it is defined by which gender I am attracted to, bdsm is just the way I like to have sex. Therefore, although I would like there to be no prejudice, I don't expect the level of representation (for want of a better word) in life re the university representative for example. ETA : Pre-empting any posts pointing out that sexuality can include the way you like to have sex, although sexuality may be a poor choice of word to describe how I view bdsm in relation to my homosexuality, my post refers to the difference between the two to me, and not a literal definition of the word. Edited 31 May 10, 10:50 PM by kt_432 | ||
| 31 May 10, 10:52 PM Belasarius UK(M), 8 yrs       |
Yes, I would so like it if I could be open about who I am. I am not sure that D/s is a sexuality in the same way as being gay or straight - though it feels so central to me that I probably regard it as such. My goal - to save women from nature (Dior) | ||
| 31 May 10, 10:56 PM MasterOfMe UK(WD), 6 yrs |
In many ways I agree with you, however there are a number of big differences. For example (for the most part) BDSM can remain private. It's a bit hard to disguise being a gay couple, but lots of kinky couples can have a drawer full of toys and no-one around is any the wiser. That reduces the need/desire to push for acceptance significently as for most people it just isn't relevant to their public persona. | ||
| 31 May 10, 10:56 PM Robert16 UK(OX), 2 yrs |
Sitting at the back of the class, my hand shot up..."please miss??? what does LBGT mean please??? Never drive faster than your angels can fly | ||
| 31 May 10, 10:57 PM totallycoverme UK(M), 4 yrs |
I think LGBT and BDSM cross over substantially anyway...I don't know a lesbian that doesn't own a few kinky sex toys. With regards as to whether BDSM could become more widespread, hmmmm, I don't know to be honest, I can't see it ever becoming anymroe "mainstream" than LGBT but either way, tis all good.
I think BDSM is everywhere in a way we don't notice in some ways too. I mean, look at any vanilla relationship and there always seems to be the bossy partner and the passive partner. I like BDSM in how its a name and concept that can help navigate how you want to do things in this respect
I probably haven't answered the questions you ask very well lol but they're so interesting that they've got my mind going lol It's nice to be important, but it's more important to be nice Edited 31 May 10, 11:02 PM by totallycoverme | ||
| 31 May 10, 11:12 PM Belasarius UK(M), 8 yrs |
Yes, I see this and I respect it but it is also a huge source of frustration to me. To the extent that I feel part of the community I belong to is actually behaving unhelpfully when it comes to getting to a point where people in D/s or O&P relationships aren't discriminated against. But, I recognise my need is a minority one. But, damn it seems important to me. My goal - to save women from nature (Dior) | ||
| 31 May 10, 11:12 PM subbietrouble 2 yrs |
I think there may be an overall merging of kinky / fetish / LGBT scenes, especially by Queer activists. You see this with BDSM munches held in Manchester's gay village, and a big crossover with the TV / TG community. subbie xxx | ||
| 31 May 10, 11:12 PM Grasshopper UK(SE), 2 yrs |
Lesbian, Bisexual, Gay and Transgender, if you were being serious. Even if you weren't, the answer was one Google search away. Oh, well, that's easy. Tucker's Law: If some cunt can fuck something up, that cunt will pick the worst possible time to fucking fuck it up because that cunt's a cunt. I've got that embroidered on a teatowel at home. | ||
| 31 May 10, 11:14 PM kt_432 UK, 2 yrs |
Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender |
