This post is on the SM/Bondage/Fetish web board.
| 26 May 10, 6:32 PM Elohims_jay UK(B), 7 yrs   |
With regard to CWNN specifically .... I have to agree with some other comments made ... the first thing that needs to be addressed is if such acts are allowed in the first place based on the venue licensing. If the venue is not licensed for sex then any discussions for this particular event are indeed a moot point. If it is something the organizers are not sure about then I would strongly suggest finding out. While most, if not all, of your attendees are going to be mature adults acting with large amounts of common sense and support for the event ... sadly it only takes one voice with a “grudge” lifted to the authorities to cause a whole world of pain. As for sex at BDSM events in general ? As I said before personally I have no problem with it at all. However, having been involved in various events over the years, I am acutely aware that there is a huge range of opinions on this subject, even down to which individual acts are acceptable. If your venue is licensed for sex and you are considering making it “official” rather than leaving it to individual attendees then you will find you will need to be very clear on “the rules”. Saying simply that sex or sexual activity is allowed will leave you open to any and all sexual acts in any place. If a male sub masturbating in a corner because of “orders” is acceptable you are very probably at some point going to have to explain to an individual that self directed masturbation (aka wanky man) is not allowed. If you allow people to have full penetrative sex in a “special area” does this mean a female sub on her knees under a table giving her Dom a blow job is allowed or not allowed in more public areas ? I know this may all sound petty and ridiculous amounts of detail .. but trust me .. once you get into the area of sexual activity there will always be one particular scenario that will be commented on/complained about that can be taken either way under any rules or guidelines you devise. It is indeed a minefield. Perhaps asking the attendees over the next few events is the way to go ? Ask them for opinions .. maybe even devise a short questionnaire to be filled in and left. That way you will know you are going to devise guidelines that are catering specifically to what your patrons want. However it turns out I wish you all the best for finding a solution that works for your event "You and you alone make me feel that I am alive. Other men it is said have seen angels, but I have seen thee and thou art enough." ~ George Moore Edited 26 May 10, 6:36 PM by Elohims_jay | |||
| 26 May 10, 6:45 PM gloworm UK(BN), 5 yrs |
The response to this thread has been remarkable especially as so many non attendee's have posted as mentioned by Hellene's. Goes to show what an emotive subject it is!  While not at the club on the night in question, (public apologies to the organiser's) I am a regular and yes, have been naked and yes have had sexually charged moments there as well as open sex at other venue's on many occasions!
Oh Matron will I be punished for my public misbehaviour!?
Oh, thats right already have!!! The point about the club tho' is its size which does not lend itself to public sexual acts. Unfortunately it is only a (largish) pub backroom and yes regular's do sometimes (accidentally) wander in before being chased back out again by our hosts (whips in hand).
We are all consenting adults and just because a person does not wish to see sexual displays at this venue does not mark them out as prudes etc. Kept in context if in doubt, don't, go home or even stop in a layby to have your sexual adventure. You might stumble into a dogging venue where you can get your rocks off while being watched or even invite audience participation! Better still, have a party and invite those claiming to be exhibitionists and of course the voyeurs too to keep the balance. PS, I've tried S&M at swingers venue's, it was difficult with people regularly trying to join in (yes, I'm thick skinned as did it more than once). Enjoy the scene and respect other people, just coz' they're playing Dom or sub doesn't mean their views can be ignored. | |||
| 26 May 10, 8:56 PM Master_D69 UK(BN), 2 yrs |
i know what you mean having worked several club nits with you i do agre that the too ar very srongly linkd but if this sor of thing dus ofend then maybe try larger clubs? personaly i think its an important elemt of the whole thing as long as its all clean as you say and if it gets to out of hand its quite easy to hav a descret word | |||
| 26 May 10, 9:30 PM jackthecat UK(BN), 6 yrs |
What struck me as funny was the fact that the only complaint we had (posted on fetlife) was from the woman who was giving the blow job. Said something about being made to feel like a pervert (there were plenty around she could have helped herself ).They upped and left as soon as any bdsm play started and then complained that she had not seen any play taking place. I somehow don,t expect we will see them at CCNN again. Everyone seems to think the club has been pretty good so far and we have not had much negetive feedback, how about we leave the rules as they are and accept that what happened on friday night was a one off incident. Jack http://www.londonalternativemarket.com/
http://www.brumbazaar.co.uk/
http://www.jacksfloggers.co.uk/Pages/ClubWithNoN...
Eastbourne,s premier (ok only) monthly fetish event (next date Friday 21st may) | |||
| 27 May 10, 9:48 AM simplicity UK(TN), 6 yrs |
Great to see others who go to the club have posted I was at the club on Friday, but didn't see the blowjob, and if I had have done, so what... As @LadySeverine and others have said, for them bdsm and sex are linked, and that goes for me too in mega proportions, and if there are sexual acts being done at the club, who gives a flying fuck - if someone doesn't like what they see, go do something else... The people who left half way through the evening sound like they were pissed off because no one was looking at what they were doing, and that just proves that the people who frequent the club are not bothered by what others are doing. If they wanted an audience they should have mingled and spoke to people, and maybe they would have got what they wanted...
The club is great - a very friendly and comfortable atmosphere for newbies and regulars, and it is always a good and fun night If it ain't broke... *Erotically Twisted ~ I Want, I Need, I Crave, I Lust* | |||
| 27 May 10, 10:22 AM kaleid0scope 6 yrs |
Sadly I no longer live close enough to attend CWNN, I used to run a BDSM club along with Jack at that venue a few yrs ago & to answer Jess, at the time sex was not allowed, but that may very well have changed now. The clubs available along the south coast are few & far between, they pop up & they end up costing the organisers both a lot of time & money with lots of thanks in the beginning which soon turns to, this is wrong, that is wrong etc & the organisers end up wondering why on earth they bothered in the first place & the clubs close....... For those who have never run a club, there is no money in it for the organisers, if they are very lucky they break even, but most, most months end up out of pocket! Then we all whinge on again......about there being no where to club & play & meet new people!! So to the OP question, which is really is nothing to do with me as I cant attend CWNN L I personally think if you have a private area in a club that people can have sex, then I would have no problem with that(this I realise is not possible at the venue at present).
I would not & do not enjoy seeing full sex in the middle of a play area at a BDSM club, & the idea of body fluids flying around a public venue makes me cringe (insert here “PRUDE & PROUD” of it “I” as in “me” before I get flamed, don't think swingers mix well in with BDSM players unless they have a BDSM interest too, & my only reason for saying that is from way to many personal experiences swingers do not have the same rule base about play. Swingers do & have & will touch & involve them self in a BDSM scene & for "me" if I am playing with a submissive, no one else touches them without my say so, I see it as my duty of care for my sub, & when I play in public, its only me & my sub I see in the room, so I don't want to be distracted by people coming up touching what is not theirs to touch.
But hey I like high protocol If its fair your after, best you go nilla | |||
| 27 May 10, 10:32 AM Lady_Anna_Bradford UK(BD), 5 yrs   |
I agree. I attended a club where two or three people started to have sex on a spanking bench in the dungeon. This attracted a large number of men who shoved their way to the front to be within 6 inches of the scene meaning that it became impossible for anyone to enter or exit the play area, and impossible for them to continue with their scenes, what with all the porno-fake sighing and groaning. The atmosphere changed from play condusive to play inhibiting. If sex is allowed it should be in premises that legally allow it and logistically allow it ie private rooms. "If no sexual offence is being committed it seems very odd indeed that there should be an offence for having an image of something which was not an offence," Lord Wallace of Tankerness | |||
| 27 May 10, 11:36 AM BadWulf UK(TA), 6 yrs |
Hardly see not touching somebodies sub as high protocol, more basic good manners, common sense and self preservation, as a punch on the nose often offends. But and its a big but, I have attended swinger nights and clubs in the past with a subbie,(to make use of the dungeon) I have never found them to be anything other than respectful, intrigued and the source of some intelligent questions and curiosity. They can be considerably less up their own arse (not aimed at anybody posting here) then the BDSM crew and far more genuine. Over the years thinkign about it I have had more grief with inappropriate viewing/behaviour at BDSM clubs with dim dom/mes (some supposedly well known), we can do better than in some way pretend we occupy a higher moral level than swingers. Protocol at their clubs can be just as strictly enforced as anything we have at ours. Club O used to have a nice mix I think, with private rooms and the odd blow job going on in dark corners, everybody kept themselves to themselves and never saw a hint of a problem despite no rules at all, common-sense reigned and fun was had in a great atmosphere. We are all adult people playing adult games no? - Wulfy
My, what sharp teeth I have. Edited 27 May 10, 12:29 PM by BadWulf | |||
| 27 May 10, 1:35 PM totallycoverme UK(M), 4 yrs |
i would feel uncomfortable being an at unlicensed event...I wouldnt wanna feel that the event had reason to be raided or outed...for eg, nobodies gonna get external sources concerned about a swinging club but they might be interested to get involved with regard to a pub that quietly holds swinging or bdsm events. So as someone who goes to bdsm events, whether there's sex or not, i think i'd prefer the whole event to officially have the green light to go ahead before I attended, and thus wasn't worried that the event had scope to be made controvercial by the council or media or whatever...it could happen couldn't it? (i ask this as a question as i'm not sure but yeah, this is my feeling) It's nice to be important, but it's more important to be nice | |||
| 27 May 10, 1:40 PM totallycoverme UK(M), 4 yrs |
Also, just wanted to add that yes, sex and bdsm may be closely linked for people and in many ways I am one of those people. However, I think observing bdsm at a club (....(whipping/spanking/caning/kneeling) and observing sexual acts (penetrative/oral/anal) (and now you're all gonna tell me this is a fine line I know lol)....) are substantially different experiences whereby having people around you practice bdsm could feel very different to having people practice sex around you, regardless of whether or not you associate with bdsm as a sexual thing or not It's nice to be important, but it's more important to be nice |
) when I go out to play its only BDSM that is my bag, but thank god each to their own 
