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| x_Raven_x |
Our Mollie
I loved Mollie dearly, we had that type of friendship where we didn't have to see each other or speak to each other every day but more often than not we would text, message or call each other just to check up on each other. If there was a party or event we had been invited to then we'd decide who was driving this time and more often than not we'd be there together. So I thought I'd share a few things with you all, hope you don't mind.
We were also members of the Toby Gang which consisted of Mollie, me, sub_lyn, The ICM, MsFoxi, Dave and Amanda. Our local Toby was ideally situated for us all to get to easily whenever the mood took us to stuff our faces and to do catch up. We'd all go, sometimes altogether, sometimes just a couple of us and when there we would give the chef and staff some cheeky banter, they knew us and always asked where so and so was if they hadn't made it along. Unfortunately for Dave and The ICM we excluded them on many visits because well girls have to do what girls have to do. On one occasion when just myself and Mollie went I remember she caused a bit of a stir as she turned around to the chef and said at the top of her voice “why do you think we call her Norma Snockers” referring to me, this caused much giggling from the staff and a slightly embarrassed chef's face lol.
When Mollie had her first scan her daughter came over and took her to the hospital, I had wanted to but her appointment at the Mayday clashed with my appointment at East Surrey Hospital. When the hospital called her to ask her to go back she asked me to take her and go in with her. It was obvious there was some urgency so of course Mollie was really very worried and a little scared, so was I but I didn't let on I felt the same way. We'd not long arrived at the hospital and she was more or less lead straight in to the doctor, she wanted me to go in with her and it was obvious they wanted me in with her too so I knew it wasn't going to be good news. I sat next to her as the doctor explained she had a growth on her skull which they were pretty sure was cancerous and then followed on by telling her that things would now start to move very quickly. Mollie sat very calmly through all he had to say to her and then the tears flowed. I hugged her and fought back my own tears because it was not the right time, I needed to stay strong for her then. They were very kind and lead us off to a quiet room so that Mollie could have time to compose herself before leaving. They brought her a cup of tea and were very nice. She cried and her first thought was how her son and daughter would cope. I just did what any friend would do and supported and reassured her. Once composed she wanted to go home but even as we entered the lift she still had her sense of humour and as she stood pressing buttons for different floors for everyone she said “first floor haberdashery and kitchen goods, going up”. For those who don't recognise it that was part of the start up of Are You Being Served.
We drove home and talked about things. Once home she wanted to be left alone so she could call her daughter and tell her the news. I was taking her the following day to see another doctor and to have more scans done, that was a long day and really took it out of her.
For me it was now time to rally the gang, fill them in as Mollie had asked me to and sort out a plan of action. From then on the gang visited her at home, we cleaned, we cooked meals to stock her freezer up, we did whatever it took to make life as stress free as we possibly could for her. It was her birthday on 2 April and we'd normally have gone for a meal to celebrate but she wasn't up to that now so the party had to go to her. We took balloons, flowers and a cake and she loved it all and took great pride in pointing out her present from MoK. Again we did what we could for her whilst we were there. She'd said how she fancied a nice roast chicken dinner so we all got together cooked up a roast with all her favourite foods at my place, she was picked up, delivered and tucked in, she loved it.
Myself and MsFoxi were taking her to another little pub in Oxted that we used to go to from time to time, which she also liked, for lunch on the Tuesday before she went in to hospital. We arrived to find her very poorly, her blood sugar levels were through the roof. So again we did our bit, whatever she wanted of us we did it and once her son arrived home she was ready for us to leave. On the Thursday she was to go to the hospital to discuss when her radiotherapy would start but she was so poorly they kept her in, her daughter did her usual call to me to fill me in on what was happening. On the Friday we nearly lost her and it was heartbreaking to hear her daughter crying down the phone when she called me and I reassured her that we were all ready to be there in an instant if she needed us but thankfully she pulled through. The gang all sat at MsFoxi's place that night until the early hours just in case we got the call from her daughter.
Come the Saturday we all piled in to Daves car and off we went to see her mob handed. From then on there was no getting rid of us, if we weren't there on mass then there was always at least 2 of us there to see Mollie and to give her son and daughter a break without having to worry that she'd been left alone.
The day before she left us for good myself, MsFoxi, her son and daughter all sat holding her hand and reading from a Bill Bryson book to her, this might sound strange but it was actually the nicest visit we'd had, there was a lot of love in that room for Mollie and for each other. Fortunately MoK had made it along to see her too which was so nice. Come the end of visiting we all left.
Lizzie called me a few hours afterwards to say they'd been called by the hospital to say that Mollie had become much worse, we'd seen her deteriorating throughtout the day so were not surprised by this. They were going to spend the night with her so again the gang were on standby. Lizzie called me the next morning to say that mum was still with us and they were going to get some sleep before returning again to her at midday. I was on my way to pick up MsFoxi to make our way to the hospital again when Lizzie called me to say she'd gone, very peacefully. I immediately went straight to Mollie's house to see her children. We hugged and her daughter filled me on what was happening now and as ever I tried to help by reassuring them that they were doing everything right. They're so young and it's all so very new to them but they're doing their mum and themselves proud.
Myself and the gang have all sat and chatted with Mollie over the last few weeks, we've comforted her as she's cried, we've consoled her when she's felt upset but we've also laughed with her too.
There is so much more I could write about these last few weeks we've spent with Mollie but one thing I have to say is that in all the time through these last few dreadful weeks Mollie has been the bravest woman I've ever met, she was gracious, caring, thoughtful, considerate and so very strong for us all and right up until she was unable to move she managed to make us laugh with her naughtiness, didn't she MoK lol. I only hope that when my time comes to leave this world I can do it with the same dignity as Mollie did.
The gang have not finished their task yet, we still continue to support her children just as Mollie had asked we do from the start and will see her off to her final resting place very soon and I know that Mollie loved us just as much as we loved her.
Mollie often referred to me as the Julie Walters to her Victoria Wood when we'd burst in to song for no reason whatsoever other than we liked to do it, well I was JW until Mollie decided on occasion I was more like Lily Savage, pft cheek of the woman lol. Come the day we see her off I will do my best to live up to the double act routine for her as long as she remembers to whisper a reminder of the words to me 
Raven 
| 14 May 10, 2:28 PM River_Deep UK, 6 yrs |
If this blog does not tug at, anyone who reads it, heart strings they must not have a one. RD xx It is not what you say or do but the way you say or do it |
| 14 May 10, 2:30 PM FluffySub UK(NN), 6 yrs      |
Lovely blog Raven, and a great reminder of a lovely lady x |
| 14 May 10, 2:41 PM xx_SweetS_xx UK, 4 yrs    |
A truly heartwarming blog for a beautiful person, who will be missed by many. 'Hugs' for you Raven. )}*>~;.;~<*{( |
| 14 May 10, 2:47 PM MissTee 5 yrs  |
Thank you for helping me drop a few tears, it is what i have needed since first reading the news about mollie, so heartwarming to know mollie was surrounded by love and caring, exactly what she deserved as she had shared the same in her life, and of course the laughter. If I appear at first not to give a shit, that is because I do not give a shit. To act like a man first be a man, learn to scratch your balls dicreetly, tar very much. |
| 14 May 10, 3:11 PM old_number_7 UK(CR), 2 yrs |
I will always remember her as being at the centre of laughter at the Croydon munch..... She was always a lady in my eyes I will miss her , alot. as will every body that knew her and was blessed with her smile and clever sense of mischief.. Its people like Mollie that make me proud to belong to this community. Gone but not forgotten . Mark xx Come to the dark side, I have icecream Edited 14 May 10, 3:38 PM by old_number_7 |
| 14 May 10, 3:50 PM Avada_Kedavra UK, 7 yrs |
Many hugs and much love to you R for posting this. I have no words that have not aleady been said. I know I will miss mollie too. xxxxx http://uk.groups.yahoo.com/group/westlondonmunch/ |
| 14 May 10, 6:28 PM The_ICM UK(TN), 9 yrs |
That is the most beautiful and touching blog I have ever read here or anywhere else for that matter.
Raven - you said it all so perfectly, summing up Mollie to a 'T'.
She was unique and so will her memory be as well.
I shall raise a toast to her and likewise to you and all the GGs for being who you are - truly wonderful people. Slim aka The ICM Have you any idea how effective government censorship is?..... No?..... Effective isn't it ! |
| 14 May 10, 6:34 PM sublyn UK(BR), 3 yrs |
What a wonderful blog and tribute to a truly remarkable lady. Reading this has made me think over the past few months again and although I am sad, I cannot help smiling at Mollie's incredible sense of humour, which always seemed to surface when you least expected it! I shall really miss you Mollie lyn xxxxxxxx Edited 14 May 10, 6:35 PM by sublyn |
| 14 May 10, 6:47 PM Dovetail UK, 3 yrs  |
I haven't had the good fortune to have met Mollie or you, but I only hope that my friends can show a fraction of the friendship and support you have given if ever I need them. Remember to also look after yourself and I hope that your pain is lessened by the knowledge of how much love you were able to give and how it must have been a comfort to Mollie. xx |
| 14 May 10, 7:26 PM Kinky_Vidushaka UK(SW), 3 yrs |
What a touching and moving rollercoaster of a blog. I went through many emotions as I read it, truly it is a blog from your heart. Although I had seen Mollie a couple of times at the Croydon munch I did not get around to speaking to her, so I did not get to know her, which is a pity (for me). There is a fine line between sanity and insanity. I have a foot firmly planted either side of that line |
