This post is on the Pro-Mistresses etc web board.
| Tue 11 May 10, 6:32 PM Kali_Ma UK(B), 5 yrs  |
I'm fascinated by the different ways Pro Dommes seem to work... but the crux of my interest is this.. As a 'service provider' do you give your client what they want during a session, especially if they have made specific requests. Or As a Dominant do you give the submissive what you want them to have, or you think they deserve? This is with in the context of respecting limits obviously. I look forward to some interesting responses... Kali x It's pronounced 'Car-Lee' *G* | ||
| 11 May 10, 8:05 PM Lady_Anna_Bradford UK(BD), 5 yrs   |
Neither and both. I provide a service in specific areas. I'm not prepared to do anything outside of those areas, for anybody, however much money they want to pay. I expect clients who have similar areas of interest to contact me. If they are too restrictive I refuse them. If they use any tone in their voice or written word that indicates to me that they are demanding I refuse them. Just because I do something it doesn't mean I will do it for them as and when they want it. Fortunately most of my clients coincide with my tastes. Out of those tastes I usually decide what they will have that day. Occasionally they will politely suggest something they fancy. If I like the idea I will oblige. It's important to understand here that I oblige because I want to, not because I am pleasing them. If they thought for one minute that I was pleasing them they would be disappointed and let down. If I agree to their suggestion because I want to (I'm always open to new ideas), they are happy. If I decide not to do it they will be happy. But if I said I'm not doing it because I'm in charge and not you they wouldn't be so happy. It's about mutual respect and understanding that yes, they are the client but they are not a customer. By that I mean they are looked after but they never demand or expect.
Interestingly you can have two Mistresses who have a very similar ethos and approach but have two very different types of clientele. Mistress and Susannah and I are very very similar yet she deals mainly with D/s and I deal mainly with S&M. 99% of our clients would never see the other Mistress but we agree on almost everything. "If no sexual offence is being committed it seems very odd indeed that there should be an offence for having an image of something which was not an offence," Lord Wallace of Tankerness | ||
| 12 May 10, 12:57 AM dominalush UK(RG), 5 yrs  |
I agree with Lady Anna in that I choose to see only those whos interests coincide with mine...Im a hard player,so someone into tie and tease would not be the right client for Me,or Me the right mistress for him.I made a promise to Myself when I started that I would stop if I no longer got pleasure out of sessioning so although the client is paying for My services I make sure I enjoy it too...I think this shows and makes the session enjoyable for us both.Most pro-dommes pick and choose who they see for the same reason to give pain is my pleasure...... | ||
| 12 May 10, 10:43 AM Ms_Tytania_London 3 yrs |
My question is: Why do all these questions always aimed at professional Mistresses? Why never to the ones who are only lifestyle? there seems to be an unspoken agreement that pro-Domme,s becaue of the money involved, hae to negotiate and give in, and be, there fore, less Dominant. But my question would be: what happens to the dominance when you don't charge, but you want to be in a relationship, and once you are in it, you want to keep it and preserve it at all costs? When you are feeling insecure for a number of reasons (age, looks, living in a remote place without a pool of like-minded people...). So these ladies, always and everytime, please themselves, tyrannically? Because there isn't (offically) any money exchanging hands? Uhmmm... | ||
| 12 May 10, 10:50 AM Kali_Ma UK(B), 5 yrs |
Excellent point! I was specifically coming at from the 'paying customer' angle. As a non pro I 'get' my mindset... I just wanted to know from the other side of the fence *G* No disrespect whatsoever was intended. I just wish I had the balls to go pro... Kali x It's pronounced 'Car-Lee' *G* | ||
| 12 May 10, 11:41 AM Ms_Tytania_London 3 yrs |
I know you wren't being funny, but it foes miff me that all questions regarding "authenticity" and honesty are always aimed at PDs. You may find this article of interest: http://www.informedconsent.co.uk/posts/251874/ | ||
| 12 May 10, 12:54 PM tanken UK(NR), 2 yrs  |
If you had balls you wouldn't get as much custom 'Kiss the boot of shiny, shiny leather' - Velvet Underground | ||
| 12 May 10, 2:08 PM Subfemmepet UK(NE), 6 yrs |
Surely, its important that as many needs are met, on both sides of the equation....in my humble opinion , be a shallow worthless experiance if it were based on selfish wants ...just because payment was made, and unlikely to be of any depth, long term etc. The road, may be bumpy , but it still leads us to our destination. Love conquers all, and makes the heart come alive | ||
| 12 May 10, 2:18 PM MistressRouge UK(B), 6 yrs £ |
A successful union/session/scene is always a 50/50 exchange in energy, whether that be pro or none pro session. I enjoy all My sessions, and always call the shots, Im the Boss always lol.
I actually have slave's arrive for session, not knowing what will happen to them, really really I dont see the difference if having a none pro session, when a sub or slave has disclosed their hard limits or interests prior.
I play in just the same way, with My lifestyle slave's as I do My professional clients " The only way to get rid of temptation is to yield to it. Resist it
and your soul grows sick with longing, for the things it has forbidden
itself"
Oscar Wilde | ||
| 12 May 10, 3:59 PM Lady_Anna_Bradford UK(BD), 5 yrs |
Completely agree. It's also worth pointing out that just like a non-paying session it is important for both parties to enjoy themselves.
There really is no pleasure in making a sub do something he really really really doesn't want to do. You also risk them not coming back. It's far easier and much more fun to make them do something they don't want to do and in return they get to do something they do want to do. The conflict they suffer makes me fuzzy
"If no sexual offence is being committed it seems very odd indeed that there should be an offence for having an image of something which was not an offence," Lord Wallace of Tankerness | ||
| 13 May 10, 5:45 PM MissKimberley_1 NL, 2 yrs £ |
It's a mix of both. As a service provider, I provide a particular service. That service is limited to my interests and desires as a dominant and within that spectrum, there is room for suggestion and request. Example. Client wants appointment and ticks interests as being mainly anal, bondage, slave. I am happy to play with him on that basis as it allows me plenty of room to choose what to do. Same client then sends email asking that I facesit naked on him while shitting on him. Client is told sorry, ain't gonna happen. Second example. Client writes me lengthy detailed fantasy and explains what his interests and limits are. I ask client if he wants me to work with his interests or whether he wants me to carry out his fantasy as described. Client emails back to say he wants me to carry out his fantasy. Client gets told sorry, not for me. So of course, there is room for requests, room to suggest certain content be included. But most PDs are not actresses fulfilling wank fantasies and most PDs are not interested in doing things that don't interest them. It's really not much different to the negotiation process between a sub and a lifestyler. The play just happens to involve cash and the negotiation tends to be more to the point as it's only for a particular time and date. *insert silly text or moneymaking link of choice here* |
