Posted by LightningJack
on Thu 6 May 10, 9:22 AM to LightningJack's blog.
We were in Brighton over last weekend and happened to fancy a drink so we wandered into a busy looking pub. As we got our drinks and sat down we realised that we were in fact in a predominately gay and lesbian pub which was fine. Most people were wearing red gay day T Shirts and there was a real buzz of excitement which was very nice to see.
Most people there were in small groups of men and women and lots of couples, the female couples to the most part were butch and femme or femme and femme but what really surprised me was seeing 2 clearly butch women get into a passionate embrace and snog with lots of hands wandering to each others breasts and below the waist. Really graffic in a public setting but what surprised me was the dynamics. I have been to lots of gatherings with lots of gays and have seen almost every type of pairing in men masculine and camp, camp and camp, even masculine and masculine.
In women its butch and femme or femme and femme. I have never seen butch and butch before. Is it as rare as I think it is and if so why is that ?
| 6 May 10, 11:28 AM epona74 UK(SL), 7 yrs  |
There is a bit of a stereotype that butches can't be together, but I think that's slowly becoming less of an issue.
I've never understood the idea that you "have" to be with a particular type of person just because society (whichever part of it) dictates it, it comes back to homophobia and all the problems there to me. Who CARES whether you're with a butch, a femme, a man, a woman, whatever? As long as both people are consenting adults, go forth and multiply with passion (or don't multiply, but keep the passion! Certainly here in the UK, most lesbians are some level of soft butch anyway...I have trouble being rather high femme, as I sometimes get "you're not gay" from other lesbians, and have been refused entry to some clubs as a result! The very high butch femme protocol does come more from the States.
The joys of lesbian politics! GAH...though I do happen to think that two butches together is an AWFUL waste of butches, there aren't enough around as it is! Two roads diverged in a wood and I, I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference. (R. Frost) |
| 6 May 10, 12:11 PM wanderlust UK(EN), 5 yrs |
In my experience it is not rare at all. In fact in all my time on the lesbian scene it seemed to be more of the norm and butch/femme was the rarer combination. Which did me out of a lot of dates I'm sure, it was always pretty hard work to find a butch that was into femmes rather than other butches. My only consolation was how hot it is to see. Incidentily, I have never succeeded in finding any good, convincing butch on butch porn. Sigh. |
| 6 May 10, 7:22 PM Phoenyx UK(NW), 4 yrs |
I agree, it's really common. Most of the masculine women I know are into other masculine women. And equally most of the femme girls I know are into femmes. I think the concept of traditional butch/femme relationships is an american thing, and doesnt happen over here that much. I am lucky, I am indescriminate about who I fancy, although admittedly I do mostly go for more butch/andro women than femmes, but I am a sucker for a nice cleveage and good eyeliner too. 'I guess you go too far, when pianos try to be guitars' |
| 8 May 10, 12:52 PM LeatherDaddi UK, 7 yrs |
As a Butch who has had relationship's with both Femmes and Butches, I enjoyed your post, mostly because the questions and opinions were not at all offensive or derogatory. I don't have a "type", the women I love and have loved, have been varied, from High Femme to hard Butch, and a bit of everything inbetween..I sound like a major "slut butch".lol..but I have been an out and active Butch for many years. I love the dynamic of Butch&Femme relationships, I agree with other postee's there isn't enough, or as much as the dynamic as in the USA. I have deeply loved the Butches I have been involved with, and it is a different dynamic, least I think it is. To see 2 women enjoying each other, regardless of dynaimic, is a beautiful thing..
If all else fails....play dead. |
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