Posted by redflamephoenix on Wed 5 May 10, 4:02 PM to redflamephoenix's blog.
Tags: Birmingham (B)
Today is a bit of a grey day. Not quite black and thundery, but not bright sunshine either.
So - some positives to challenge the negative....
1) Top of the list has to be the fact that I have two wonderful men in my life. I couldn't be more grateful for everything they do for me to keep me going when I slip into the black. I love them both so much.
2)My family may not understand the above situation, but they're supportive of my choice, and as long as I'm happy and not about to be hurt beyond all comprehension, they're happy. Ditto S' close family.
3)I have friends I haven't spoken to for months, who I can pick up the phone and call and it's like we've not been apart. I miss these friends terribly, but I know they're always there for me and vice versa.
4)I have a relatively easy job. Yes it's not exactly stretching my capabilities, and yes it's pretty repetative, and yes the money isn't brilliant, but I still glean satisfaction from the job when yet another customer thanks me for being so helpful, or tells me that they hope they get through to me next time they call. My colleagues are all lovely too - less than 3 weeks together at the place and we've gelled so well already!
5)I have a nice house and two beautiful kittens who love me unconditionally and seem to know when I'm in serious need of cuddles.
6)(slightly materialistically) I get more birthday presents today. My birthday was a month ago, but family up north have left stuff with my gran, which my mum is bringing down for me today. S wanted to know how I wangled that one, having two birthdays....
7)I'm challenging the negative thoughts. Every time something happens and I start to blame myself (for example), I'm now reminding myself that I can't be held accountable for things that I haven't done, so I need to stop blaming myself. This is a huge step for me from where I was at the start of this year.
8)Last but not least - I'm having sunny days at last. Something that I never thought would happen again earlier this year. I'm stronger than I was before, even if I don't feel it some days, and everything that gets thrown at me just serves to make me stronger.
There - I do actually feel better for forcing myself to write positive things down to challenge the negative. It's hard work, but I'm hoping it'll get easier with practice.
Now I'm just waiting for Boss, S, and Mum to get here so I can have massive cuddles from all of them. For now though, I'm going to get cuddles from the kitties....
| 6 May 10, 9:12 PM Dommy_nick UK(WS), 6 yrs  |
I know my cats always make me smile, especially when the ginger tom starts beating up hair bands and clinging on to the floor in case he falls off it! A house is much more a home when it includes cats, to my mind. Dommy_nick Licence to perve! | |
| 7 May 10, 8:04 PM redflamephoenix 5 yrs |
Mine never fail to make me laugh when one pounces at the other and the result is a matrix-stylie leap about two feet in the air. Or when Binky (my little girl) comes and cuddles up on me, her head tucked under my chin, but not before kissing me on the nose. What I'd have done without them the last few months I'll never know. They even let me cry on them, and one washes the tears off my cheek for me! On my blackest day, they both sat by me all day, only leaving me to get food or use the litter box. They're so lovely - can't believe we've only had them 6 months today! xx The only people who can split us up is US! |
