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| Hedwig |
I'm writing this essay you see and Im pretty pleased with myself being ahead of schedule and having a good essay in front of me. But because of that I am not amped or stressed. There is no adrenaline and even if it is interesting I feel disengaged. I know the feeling of melancholia is just temporary, but it is so heavy right now and I could struggle and keep on writing a couple of more words but I want to go to bed and cry for some reason. As I look at some of the photos from a weekend passed, thinking about tight ropes and a loud silence, a space in which I was allowed to drown and still survive, I long so much that my body aches.
I look at my options right now and I am indeed lucky but still feel lonely. A particular craving and sadness, a specific way of being touched and touch someone.
I wish that a person I love deeply would be happy in his life, it is one of the things I dream vivid dreams about. Another dream, which I think of when being awake is the snug sensation of restraints and bein able to trace the maps of rope across my body. Finding my way home.
Can I get all that? Please?
