The_Problem_Page's profile . The_Problem_Page group posts
Posted by The_Problem_Page on Mon 12 Apr 10, 7:32 AM to the The_Problem_Page group.
Anon Post
In the past few months I have been engaged in a play based relationship with a gorgeous guy which Im really enjoying .
He told me at the outset that he was a switch like myself and for me this was an added attraction as I am predominately submissive with Domme tendencies .He led me to believe he was too and that for this to be right we would switch with each other when the occasion called for it.
RESULT!! I thought .
Our play is very intense and wonderful and mainly concerns him cross dressing and me Domming him very forcefully. He enjoys verbal humiliation and being treated very much as a very naughty girl.
Im truly enjoying exploring this side of myself . In fact I didnt realise just how much I would enjoy my strong Domme side.
Yet something is missing . The submissive in me wants him to occasionally suggest that it is my turn to be on the bottom and engage in a bit of role reversal . However if anything the opposite is true . He is becoming more submissive and is wanting to indulge much more of his "fem" side.
My question is ... was he truly a switch to begin with....?
| 12 Apr 10, 8:37 AM kris_kink UK(SW), 3 yrs  |
I think this is a question you should address to him. Perhaps he is enjoying himself too much and doesn't feel the need to change. Maybe taking a step back, and talking about reversing the roles might be a good option? To me this doesn't come across as being too difficult a problem. As long as he realizes that he is being greedy and, if cares about your feelings, he will play dom. | ||
| 12 Apr 10, 9:53 AM Adverse_Camber UK, 3 yrs  |
Just wanted to respond to this part...If you think of the exchange of "power" or whatever you want to call it during play, and see it as a fluid growing interaction, what you put into your part is what will come out of the other side. So, without knowing you or him, I would imagine the answer is "yes, he was truly a switch to begin with", but you have been encouraging his sub side, so it has grown enough for that to be what he identifies with most at the moment. On a practical note, you could try a formal handover arrangement until the dynamic naturalises between you two...One day of subbing for you to his three days or whatever. He will need time and encouragement to relocate his more dominant side...and you may just find you struggle to find your submissive side now too!
And just remember..it should be FUN! "I see the shooting stars falling through your trembling hands..." | ||
| 12 Apr 10, 10:19 AM rebel_angel UK(RM), 4 yrs   |
I agree, and the key is commuication. You need to talk to him about your need to be submissive. If he is understanding you will both find a way to fill your cravings. I am in a switch relationship myself, my partner and I have many chats about getting the balance in our relationship. Sometimes we attend a club where if I have not been submissive for a while, and he has had lot's of play with me as the top at home, I will get him to play with others to give me a break. Which works! Eventually you will both find your space. You've just got to find what works for you. Play? | ||
| 12 Apr 10, 3:37 PM The_Problem_Page UK, 2 yrs |
*Reply from Anon OP*
I think I understand your point AC - as our relationship is purely play based we spend a lot of time texting back and forth in between meets - he seems to be becoming more submissive to me during these interactions also. I am enjoying being the one holding the power at the moment but I know my sub side will eventually want him to take the lead. Im just not sure just how fluid he will be..
This sounds like a good idea and is something I will discuss with him. Thanks.
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| 12 Apr 10, 3:38 PM The_Problem_Page UK, 2 yrs |
*Reply from Anon OP*
Thanks Rebel Angel - this too is really helpful!! | ||
| 13 May 10, 8:32 PM Da_Pix UK, 6 yrs |
Hm. Two sides of this coin: Either he's discovering that he's more sub/bottom than Dom... OR... He's being a kid in a candy shop, and the role he's chosen to visit most often fits what he wants from life at the moment. Remember, when you discover something about yourself, it often feels like a missing jigsaw piece finally found, and it can become all consuming - Making you self centred in your wants. Maybe remind him of your needs too. I can only speak from personal experience in saying that.. when I was in the same situation, and brought it up, when the person dom'd me, I felt cheated, as I was worried they didn't truly want to do it, but was only trying to make me happy, which resulted in me not being happy even though I got what I wanted. Or did I? I hope you find a nice balance, whatever the outcome. Good luck. Yes - hello we're back - and we're taking calls Now what was the question? Edited 13 May 10, 8:33 PM by Da_Pix |
