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| 12 Apr 10, 3:11 AM SnowdropExplodes UK(TN), 7 yrs   |
The commitment I feel for any woman whose submission I have commanded is intrinsic to me, and does not fade even though the relationship may have ended - you could call it (if you were so minded, which generally I am not) a form of "branding on the heart". So that's where my commitment lies. I deeply resent the suggestion that all men are commitment-phobic (for one thing, it actually lowers expectations of men and can make it seem okay for them to be like that). While I may not rush into commitment, once I make it, it is there for good! It is fierce, it is heartfelt and it is deep.
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| 12 Apr 10, 9:51 AM Vamp_Mystik UK(WA), 3 yrs |
You are right to say that the commitment issue does indeed lower the expectations of men.. Which is really sad... And of course all driven by fear. There again it does depend on security ( or lack of ) as the case maybe.
Branding of the heart is a nice way of putting it.
The challenge is to be yourself, in a world that is trying to make you like everyone else...... | ||
| 12 Apr 10, 10:15 AM ClassAct2005 UK(N), 7 yrs |
There is a perfectly respectable way of showing commitment for life which is marriage vows in which traditionally it even included on the woman's part, to obey circa 1560 " WILT thou have thys woman to thy wedded wyfe, to lyve together after Goddes ordynaunce in the holye estate of Matrimony? Wylt thou love her, comforte her, honour, and kepe her, in sickenes, and in healthe? And forsakyng al other, kepe the onely to her, so long as you both shall hve? The man shall aunswere, I will. "Then shall the Priest saye to the woman, N. WILT thou have this man to thy wedded housband, to lyve together after Goddes ordynaunce in the holy estate of matrimony? wilt thou obey hym and serve him, love, honour, and kepe him, in sycknes and in health? And forsakynge al other, kepe the onely to him so long as ye bothe shal live The woman shall aunswere, I will." | ||
| 12 Apr 10, 10:34 AM De_Luxe UK, 5 yrs |
My commitment is to be the person I said and indicated by my behaviour that I would be when we met. | ||
| 12 Apr 10, 11:56 AM GirlAfraid UK, 3 yrs |
He proposed. That seems to pretty much cover the commitment on all fronts. | ||
| 12 Apr 10, 12:26 PM merrynb99 UK(SL), 6 yrs |
Awwww, congratulations!!!
(Er... I presume you accepted!?!?!?!?) Happiness is unattainable except as a by-product of seeking meaning in a task (S. Jeffries) | ||
| 12 Apr 10, 1:03 PM Belasarius UK(M), 8 yrs      |
Sadly, it doesn't: It ignores poly. Goes and puts the kettle on). My goal - to save women from nature (Dior) | ||
| 12 Apr 10, 2:06 PM GirlAfraid UK, 3 yrs |
OK for clarity: He proposed. That seems to pretty much cover his commitment to me on all fronts. | ||
| 12 Apr 10, 6:46 PM tony999 UK, 5 yrs |
Probably more a case of simply needing to find the right man for you.
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. Edited 12 Apr 10, 6:48 PM by tony999 | ||
| 12 Apr 10, 7:11 PM Outlier UK(W), 2 yrs |
I do not think "commitment-phobia" is gender-specific.
Everyone is different in terms of make up (I'm not referring to the stuff put on the face I believe that ultimately the willingness to commit stems from meeting the "right" person, corny as that may sound. That essential spark when two minds and souls meet. An indefinable feeling that all of one's life and experiences hitherto have been merely a dress rehearsal or prelude to meeting that special one. The whole experience is a beautiful epiphany, when one's purpose in life is suddenly and unexpectedly viewed with absolute clarity.
"I am from nowhere and everywhere" Karl Lagerfeld |
