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BDSM spotting (56)

This post is on the SM/Bondage/Fetish web board.

6 Apr 10, 10:46 AM
bohnanza
UK(FK), 12 yrs

Stillyet wrote:

I think there are particular behaviours which mark women who are submissive (note - this is not the same as self-identifying as submissive, and that in turn is not the same as enjoying being submissive sexually!) Explicitly, not meeting your eyes, head very slightly lowered, being awkward about opening conversation... you might say that this is a description of shyness, but I don't think it is. The submissive will arrange to be in the view of the person she wants to be noticed by, will often arrange to be close to him.

I think I can sometimes spot women who will respond to a 'dominant' approach.

Bollocks.

Why don't cash machines have a Gamble button?
Why isn't there an age of consent for religion?

6 Apr 10, 3:48 PM
Miss_Poppins
UK(RG), 2 yrs

bohnanza wrote:

Stillyet wrote:

I think I can sometimes spot women who will respond to a 'dominant' approach.

Bollocks.

This! "Submissive Alpha Female" or what was that thread called a while ago?! That would be me.

Hab keine Angst, einen großen Schritt zu machen, wenn dies nötig ist. Ein Abgrund lässt sich nicht mit zwei kleinen Sprüngen überqueren (David Lloyd George).

6 Apr 10, 7:30 PM
Zakalwe
UK(YO), 2 yrs

I think both sides of the "can you tell if someone's kinky?" question are equally convincing. There are two people I know I'm absolutely convinced are kinky, even though I have zero data to support this assertion. This is both an argument for there being a way to tell - since I am pretty damned certain - but also against, as I have this feeling for no explainable reason, so maybe it's just a cognitive artefact. Hmm.

Either way, I intend to continue believing they are until proved otherwise!

6 Apr 10, 7:44 PM
Londonista
UK(E), 2 yrs

Stillyet wrote:
...not meeting your eyes, head very slightly lowered, being awkward about opening conversation... you might say that this is a description of shyness, but I don't think it is. The submissive will arrange to be in the view of the person she wants to be noticed by, will often arrange to be close to him. I think I can sometimes spot women who will respond to a 'dominant' approach.

I'm not sure, I think that's just plain shy, shifty or just an easily presumed stereotype. I suppose it might be that shy women are more likely to be submissive but I would say that 70% of f subs wouldn't fit this description. Although submissive, sexual preference doesn't necessarily have an impact on one's day-to-day. Generally speaking, I find kinksters of all persuasions more open with body language, and more confident in terms of eye-contact and talking to strangers.

I'd say I could make a rough guess by looking at someone and would know within about 5 minutes of general chit-chat (well flirting) but it's not much of a magic power then, is it?

Edited 6 Apr 10, 7:46 PM by Londonista

12 Apr 10, 6:16 PM
Kitana

UK(LE), 10 yrs

poupee wrote:
In Germany that seems to be easier. At least people on the scene usually wear an O-ring which not only shows they are kinky but also clarifies if they are dom or sub. Quite convenient

There is also the BDSM pendant which is worn to shown an interest in kink.

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Freak is 6 years old as a full time fetish business. www.freakclubwear.co.uk See us at the LFF and BBB every month and Erotica in November.

13 Apr 10, 1:50 AM
RebekkaRaynor
UK(SW), 7 yrs
£

I've seen O rings, bracelets, necklaces all pointing towards someone having an interest. There was even an older gentleman in the tube dressed in what looked lke nothing but a rubber trenchcoat. That was a bit of a giveaway.

This reminds me of years ago when I lived in Edinburgh and was in a Chinese supermarket. A guy walked up and asked if he could 'deal with things at the till'. My guard was immediately up, so decided to put a meat cleaver in the basket. Before I had a chance to say thank you after said basket was dealt with, he was off down the street! Most odd, especially considering I didn't look particularly domm-ly that day, so either there must have been something he picked up on, or he asked various ladies until one of them said yes.

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13 Apr 10, 6:34 AM
AngelFingers1
UK(CH), 2 yrs

The triskelion symbol tattoo'd on my wrist is a dead give-away to anyone who recognises it.....and to those that dont....well its just a tattoo!

There again.....I hope my manner, bearing and appearance also leave little doubt!!

Angel

Anything but ordinary

13 Apr 10, 1:09 PM
purelyacademic
UK(PO), 2 yrs

Is anyone watching the search for Dorothy in 'Over the Rainbow' on Saturday and Sunday evenings..?

I love the way Lord Andrew Lloyd Webber gets presented with the shoes of the the girl leaving the show on Sunday evening....he holds them in his lap while the group sing the final song.

I wonder whose idea this was..?

13 Apr 10, 1:15 PM
Dominion
UK(BS), 8 yrs

S3phiroth wrote:
Spotting someone who is into BDSM would be hard.

Spotting a sub or domm/e I think would be easy.

I totally agree with the above comment, and would go futher, its very easy to tell if someone has Dom me or Sub tendancies, but its very different to know if they use them

I love people watching its just so wonderful

13 Apr 10, 3:06 PM
Lovelace
UK(LS), 4 yrs

Most people seem to think I'm a Domme when I'm out and about, not sure why this is, must be my gob on a stick attitude !

Deffo not shy or head down or untalkative despite being a sub, in fact I go out of my way to include myself in any conversation that's going on and get really miffed when Dom/Dommes seem to compeltely ignore me. Even as much as forcing them to make eye contact with me just to acknowledge that I'm also a person, and here, in the room !

Choozy. x

One day my ship will come in, and knowing my luck, I'll be at the airport !!

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