This post is on the Other BDSM web board.
| Sun 28 Mar 10, 4:23 PM Ouroboros UK(M), 4 yrs  |
This is primarily a question for straight male switches (but everybody's opinion is welcome). As somebody who is slightly leaning to being switch (and yes again big shock!) I am guessing this is a male thing but I don't believe that I could ever submit/bottom to another guy. I can see the appeal some what of submitting to a woman. My question is do other guys feel this way? What do male Dom's think of this? Do straight women switch feel the same way about submitting to other women? Or is it as I think it maybe a combination of male pride and personal choice? Adama: What do you hear, Starbuck? | |
| 28 Mar 10, 4:51 PM subette 2 yrs |
I met a guy recently who prefers to dom women and sub to men. Like all these things there are endless combinations out there. Subette I want to reconcile the violence in your heart. I want to recognize your beauty is not just a mask. - Muse, Undisclosed desires | |
| 28 Mar 10, 4:57 PM Ouroboros UK(M), 4 yrs |
I guess so. Adama: What do you hear, Starbuck? | |
| 28 Mar 10, 5:16 PM shibari_mike UK(IG), 3 yrs  |
Like most things in this world, different people have different opinions and conceptions about different things. Just do what you want to do, and what feels right to you, not anyone else. A wise-man once told me never to trust anything a wise-man tells you. | |
| 28 Mar 10, 5:18 PM May_Thorn UK(BS), 6 yrs £ |
From my experience I think its more of a gender and submission issue, rather than a switchy one. As far as heterosexual men go. The guys just seem to have trouble submitting to other guys, switch or not. The switches I know don't have much of a problem dominating guys, but a lot can't/won't submit to one. The girls on the other hand, sub or switch, seem to be much more inclined to submit to either gender, with no problems at all.
If you're not living on the edge....I can help. | |
| 28 Mar 10, 6:04 PM KinkyRoly UK(OX), 3 yrs |
I'm a straight male switch. I always make a distinction between submitting and bottoming. I don't submit to anybody, even my partner, but I bottom to people who seem like fun - male or female. Similarly I will top either gender, but it's something that I do on my terms. With casual play partners, I don't do sexual play, so it's mostly things like bondage, violet wand, flogging etc. Those types of play aren't overly geared to either gender so it doesn't create any sort of problems. | |
| 28 Mar 10, 6:05 PM Lj_switch UK, 3 yrs  |
This is something I have thought about for some time, as a switch. Up until a few weeks ago, I would not consider subbing to a Dom, and indeed declined an offer. I suppose I should also qualify terms. In what seems to be well-understood parlance, I am "bottom" not sub, whoever is the Dom(me) in that my submission is entirely in the context of play, and stops outside of that environment. I suspect my Dom side extends more completely into my "outside play" environment. Also, I am more Dom than sub/bottom. Then the opportunity to try an Erostek electro-play unit was offered by Royster. My curiosity got the better of me, and we had a "private" play session, albeit in the company of his partner Jules. After discussions about our respective sexuality and interests, it has become clear that some of us can separate sex from BDSM play. As a result, we have now "played" three times and I am happy to do so on future occasions. For me the biggest hurdle was indeed separating sex from BDSM, ie, in our scenes I did not in any way feel "threatened" by an inferred "gay" implication. I suspect this concern applies to many men, even if they won't admit it. I'm "straight", not homophobic. An additional factor was the presence of Jules, who, whilst she might have been complicit in some unspecified plot (apparently not *lol* ), provided a female aspect (and a seriously wicked sense of humour). The whole tone of the first and subsequent sessions has been one of encouragement to try new things in a relaxed and lighthearted fashion (Twoo Dome and subs would not have enjoyed it) So perhaps I have been very lucky in finding someone who is extremely generous with his time, and of course the compatibility of personalities makes a great difference to the success of the encounter, whoever is involved. This has also spilled over into the Dom role, in that I would now consider a play scene with a male sub, given the aforementioned compatibility, something again I would have dismissed out of hand just a few weeks ago.
All part of the rollercoaster ride started last year be a switch, double your fun | |
| 28 Mar 10, 6:14 PM Olokun UK(S), 5 yrs |
I am also a switch, straigt male (only recently have I had bi curious thought), but I would say that it's the D/s aspect that draws me, and so if I was comfortable with the person I could sub to a Dom. Also i'm very into SM too, so if that balance can be reached linking it all, I'm happy whether Male or Female Dom/me | |
| 28 Mar 10, 6:21 PM NightFox UK(CV), 3 yrs |
I recently posted on this board 'where are all the switches' as it seems difficult to actually find them. From the response I got they are probably not as rare as I thought. Still, the difficulty is finding them on this site as there is no 'Switch' option in the 'personal ads'
With regard to you not believing you could not switch/bottom to another guy - well the best option is to try it out. I had similar feelings, but like food, I'll at least try it before I pass judgement. So I had a guy on guy session with someone who has similar kinks. My first ever session with another male.We played, him being dominant with me then reversed roles, I being dominant with him. The former did nothing for me, but taking the Dom role did, and I quite enjoyed having the control over him. The session was revealing and I came out of it having learned that I was not averse to having sexual relations with another male
We sometimes have strong entrenched barriers about what we will, or will not like, but those barriers can sometimes be climbed and it can be worth the journey.
You are at obviously questioning yourself about it, so why not take the bull by the horns and find out ? I am a firm believer in the adage 'Nothing ventured, nothing gained' ! NF
Edited 28 Mar 10, 6:26 PM by NightFox | |
| 28 Mar 10, 7:03 PM NightFox UK(CV), 3 yrs |
A'hem, 'scuse me ? But isn't that why everyone is on this site ? We are all looking to service our own needs, even if thats achieved in serving others ! NF
Edited 28 Mar 10, 7:04 PM by NightFox | |
| 28 Mar 10, 9:06 PM MisterAndy UK(SS), 4 yrs |
I agree with you there. I could not at all submit to another man. I can only feel comfortable playing with women as a submissive. In saying that, there is no hint of any kind of homophobia, because none of that exists on my part. It's just simply my personal preference.
Youth's a mask and it don't last. Live it long and live it fast.(The Killing of Georgie by Rod Stewart) |
