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| Elven_Eyes |
I just need to scream my fury into the safe anonymity of the cyber forum. What I'm about to release is something you don't tell people you really know, as it is none of their business and it's tacky to tell and sundry (as on Jerry Springer and similar). No, if I knew you face to face you would never hear about this, but as you are all my safely anonymous cyber friends who I never have to face, people who don't know me from Eve, as it were, I feel safe to tell you.
My mother and step dad are divorcing after 5 years of marriage (she was married to my dad for 21 years). They had an unconventional beginning: neither wanted to get married (they married to prevent an investigation of fraternization in the ranks and yes that still happens- mom could have gone to jail and had her nursing license removed). So, they married in haste and in fake and now its ending so why does that matter? I was 20 when they started dating, 21 when they married, and I never really attached to me step dad. Why do I care?
One, my mother has financially supported this man to the point of paying his child support for his 3 kids form a previous marriage, and he hasn't worked a day in 5 years even though he was working as a nurse when they met. he could have worked. He stopped working. And then there's the fact that my mother paid for him to go to the police academy and he still wouldn't work. That makes hima slacker and it makes me disappointed.
Then they agreed to divorce and my mom held off filing until he found a job. But he didn't find a job, he filed behind her back in a manner that means she might have to give him a big payout. Louse!
The part that really makes me furious though, is that it has come to light that my stepfather was sexually grooming my sister.
Now he tried some stuff on me that was far from kosher as he was marrying my mom, but I was 21 and I handled myself. Didn't mention it to mom in case it was all some sort of misunderstanding. After all, who wants to try to play dad to an adult woman? He was 37, and I was 21 (mom was 44 at the time). All a misunderstanding. Right? Wrong.
My sister was 15 when they met and is 21 now. Some of the things he 'talked' to her about, some of the things he made her do, make me sick to my stomach. my sister is a Born again Christian virgin saving herself for marriage (bless her!), but she has daddy issues as our dad never loved us. My step dad withheld things like hugs and other forms of appropriate paternal affection from her unless she would do things like give him massages while he was naked.
SICK FUCK.
Worst part is, we can't take him to court about it, because she was over 18 before anything that could be called 'assault' occurred. it wasn't technically molestation of a child. And as she didn't mention it to anyone until the divorce proceedings and close questioning, it would be claimed she was a willing participant until the divorce when she sided against him with my mother. We have no recourse to legal action against him.
The worst bit is feeling so damn powerless! I can't fly across the ocean and support my family or cause that man serious injury. There is nothing I can do.
I am furious. I am trying to cope but its hard.
Sorry guys, it might be a while before I'm myself again.
| 24 Mar 10, 11:28 AM brat_MP UK(EX), 6 yrs  |
sends a hug xxx 'There came a time when the risk to remain tight in the bud was more painful than the risk it took to bloom' Anais Nin |
| 24 Mar 10, 12:00 PM The_Counsellor UK(WA), 5 yrs |
Screaming is the least you must feel like doing. It is so hard when those you care about are being hurt and abused and you can't do anything much to help. Remember though, that listening and believing in them even long distance is a great support to them. A big hug to you. And I hope you are able to tell someone close to you how you feel about all this. These are real problems and having a real effect on you and those you love. Don't just scream in the cyber world. The Counsellor Kink Friendly Counselling and Therapy Let me help you to be the best you that you can be |
| 24 Mar 10, 12:52 PM FairyGirl UK(YO), 3 yrs   |
That's totally crappy stuff to happen. I wish laws and stuff weren't so useless most of the time. What's "fraternization in the ranks"? I've never heard of it, sounds like a complete bitch though, my thoughts are with you. "Nothing saves anyone's life, Sir. It just postpones their death." - Posner , The History Boys. |
