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| alexandraa |
“Why do we like pain?” A friend asked me today. Good point? Or is it? Why doesn't everyone like pain? Sex, life, birth, death, it's all pain isn't it? I think liking pain, giving and/or receiving, is normal. Yes and I know everything, so there.....
I think it's about primal sexual urges. I think it's about hard fucking and animal desires, which we, in our complexity of intellect and need for analysis of motive, expand into intricate scenarios that trigger our pleasure centres while somehow justifying the need. Hence the plethora of role play, games, costumes, bratty subs and discipline doms.
Me? I just like sex, hard and fast, pain chucked in. Simple huh? Happy to go along with role play if the mood takes my partner, but the bottom line (pun intended) is simply that I like to feel controlled and I enjoy pain with my sex. Don't know why, not sure I really care why. It's how I've always been, from my first forays into self pleasure.
My first real awareness of being sexually aroused was when I was maybe 14. I was reading the Carpet Baggers by Harold Robbins. A cultural great I know. I was a very well read child.... I think it was that one anyway. In any case there was a scene within it where a woman had been tied up and was being sexually tormented with an electrical shock implement of some description, I think it was supposed to be some kind of re-designed cattle prod, but suspect that old Harold had based his ideas on a violet wand.
I read this description of how she couldn't move away from it, naked and vulnerable, teased tortured and tormented, then gradually became aware I had this funny feeling between my legs, that I felt kind of swollen and uncomfortable. Somehow put two and two together and came up with the art of wanking. Yes I discovered it. Invented it even. I expect no one else does it....
I don't need Harold Robbins to get me off nowadays, but I never stopped developing my ideas and erotic desires around bondage, lack of control and erotic torture. Ahhhh those were the days.... albeit most of that went on in my head and little was shared with partners. I did try with my ex husband, but that resulted in.... ohhh great idea you tie me up.... sigh... and that's where that marriage went wrong.
Maybe there are other people out there who read stuff like that and are disgusted, or just don't get that connection. What do they get off on then? Laura Ashley catalogues? I suppose their sexual triggers are as beyond my comprehension as my desire for pain and control is beyond their's.
I say, sex and spanking, bring it on.
| 23 Mar 10, 8:31 PM flyer52 UK(YO), 3 yrs |
well written and thoughtful, be yourself and look for what floats your boat. | |
| 23 Mar 10, 10:24 PM MissP UK(EN), 8 yrs |
Oh you and your dirty sex stuff! Oddly, the first sexual frisson I felt from *reading* about sex was also The Carpetbaggrs. I was a lot younger though - my Dad had left it on the bathroom floor.
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| 24 Mar 10, 1:32 AM Janie_0 UK(G), 8 yrs |
oh! you dirty bitch - it was Goodbye Janette that got me, same Author, well that and Forum Mag and perhaps 9 a half weeks but i was old then, about 19. | |
| 24 Mar 10, 1:05 PM WeeWullieWubish UK(G), 2 yrs  |
Well written and very true!! | |
| 19 May 10, 12:47 PM MykelO UK(FY), 9 yrs |
How delicious to wander back into IC, after a time away, to find you still here as beautiful, lustful, eloquent and coherent as always. I too have never understood the drive to control, direct, and cause exquiste pain as an integral part of my lust for the very best sex. It is there, it just happens, the best partners bring it out in me, we feed off each other, we go too far and we enjoy it so. When I read you entries I grin helplessly, feeling that you are the female Yin to my male Yang. Long may you live, love, suffer and prosper, With my fondest best wishes, Michael Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up and loudly proclaiming, Wow, what a ride! |
