This post is on the D/s & M/s web board.
| 22 Mar 10, 8:35 PM ClassAct2005 UK(N), 7 yrs  |
Mmmm, interesting issues.
Some people are very moody and not easy to be with. If you aren't like that I think it's best just to avoid those people or life can be nasty and hard. I hate seeing couples being nasty to each other. I accept for some that type of dynamic might work, whether they're vanilla or otherwise but I don't like to see the disrespect between them on either side and I certainly don't think in a D/s relationship you should be allowed to speak to someone like that. I wouldn't respect him if he let me.. obviously with some allowances for occasional bad days. On the other hand you need some means as a submissive of expressing things you're not happy with. It's up to him to discuss with you how that might work and what can be done but I don't think it's wrong for him to say - not now, go upstairs, calm down and we'll talk about it later or spank you if you have a CP type of relationship (as long as that doesn't become a kind of reward for bad behaviour) but always looking at what caused it. Is she drinking too much? Is she not getting enough sleep? Am I not treating her as I should be? if you look at why most children play up it's often something very simple like bad diet, not enough sleep or that's the only way they get attention. Anyway people's personalities differ. Interesting question is can you and should you change the sub's behaviour to reflect what you regard as acceptable (which I think is fine) or not. |
| 22 Mar 10, 8:57 PM Spongey UK(SN), 3 yrs  |
wen i get pissed off with dom/mes i tend to do silly things like smash my legs against a metal cage :/ Butter wouldn't melt x |
| 31 Mar 10, 6:12 PM successfu1 5 yrs |
Tricky one- guess it comes down to the context of the relationship. For me, a large part of my issues I'd be happy to be railroaded over and submit when annoyed...but then thats just me.. Depends how important the thing that annoyed you was! |
| 31 Mar 10, 7:30 PM Olokun UK(S), 5 yrs |
Well my favourate quote is "My mistake, your fault!" Yea, that just doesn't cut it in some circumstances, but it is up to the Dom/me to be big enough to say, yes I made a mistake, and what do we do from here. It is also up to the sub to show courage and actually tell the Dom/me how they feel, that they believe the Dom/me is in the wrong. What shouldn't happen is, and it does alot in any relationship or dynamic, that people don't say what they mean. I do't tolerate it and can quickly notice it most times. For instance your out with some friends and you jokingly make a comment one of them didn't like. Rather than say that, what normally happens is they'll be off with you all night, or make what seems an out of the blue snyde comment, rather than just saying to you that they were offended. So, being in a sulk isn't a productive thing, it's passive aggressive, so you both should discuss where you are, and what needs to happen. e.g. The Dom/me identifies that the sub needs some space/time to be able to calm down and gain that trust back, as you need the relationship to be stable before the D/s can work. |
| 31 Mar 10, 8:04 PM slowboat_tochina UK, 6 yrs |
*watching with interest* surely the affects on the dynamic depend on the degree/level of 'pissed off-ness' in the first place, and whether both parties are aware of the reasons for one or the other to be pissed off. There are times i think a good thrashing would probably work wonders and others when it would be the worst thing in the world! --------------------------------------------------- |
| 31 Mar 10, 8:19 PM kaleid0scope 6 yrs |
I have played while pissed off & I just do not enjoy it & the last sub who was pissy, I just did not play at all as I knew I would get no enjoyment.
But each to their own
EDT to add: I realise that sounds like I never get pissy my self, but that would be just silly, lol I am female, I do moods really really well, my answer was just to the OP question If its fair your after, best you go nilla Edited 31 Mar 10, 10:14 PM by kaleid0scope |
