This post is on the D/s & M/s web board.
| 21 Mar 10, 6:05 PM Fitznicely UK(B), 2 yrs  |
Here's the rub, my experiences have shown me very many direct parallels between vanilla and kink, for example, I've used many of the same verbal tricks in my job, as I've used to control my girl. I use my knowledge of physiology and psychology to raise my kids and administer first aid when needed, and also to judge where and how to hit/cut/torment my slave. These are just a couple of many examples I can give. The skills are identical, the delivery is different, obviously, but the skills remain identical. Given that my experiences are different, I can't help but disagree. That's not to say you're wrong, or less knowledgeable, but just that we have had different experiences. I thought the point of threads here was to share ideas and experiences and discuss them. That's what I've been doing. You know they say it's always the quiet ones you have to watch? That's me. | |
| 21 Mar 10, 7:53 PM tazallie UK, 2 yrs  |
I would have to disagree strongly with you on this point. The skills you had a sample of on your taster course are absolutely equivelant to those in a vanilla relationship. It is a set of skills that are used by many including those in vanilla relationships, BDSM relationships, work relationships, friendships etc etc. They are purely a set of skills developed to aid communication by anyone and can be used in any situation. To somehow elevate them to something more is a diservice to those who strive to use them in their everyday lives. There is nothing mystical about them, nothing special, they are purely the ability to really listen, to paraphrase, to sumarise, to reflect etc they can come naturally to someone and they can be learnt by others. They are a tool that anyone can and do use. It seems to me that you have had a very common eureka moment that happens to many on these taster courses...the moment when you realise that these skills are natural to you, that you understand them and can use them....it has nothing to do with BDSM...except in the fact that you use them in your BDSM relationship, as can others in BDSM or vanilla.
Tazallie |
