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| WaterDragon |
I have been watching the current strings on "Femdomme" and it has caused me to think about my own point of view.
Just what is being femdomme to me? That seems to be the question that comes to mind first.
With the perspective of having been sub to a lifestyle Domme for some years before joining this website and going out into the world, my views are not quite what most here seem to espouse. For me, a Mistress will always be supportive of her submissive/slaves, never destructive of self esteem. To denigrate a sub verbally or by setting them up to fail, both things will ultimately be destructive of the relationship if not the activity. Any exercise or task set should be achievable if difficult, not set so that failure is all but inevitable. Verbal abuse must remain restricted to high stress failure situations, and I suppose play times but then only if the sub gets off on it, as well as the Domme.
Another question is of Manner, How should a Domme present and disport herself?
I believe any dominant should always be polite, swearing and using a bullying manner is both unladylike, and demeaning to themselves. If you are a domina, then you don't have to shout and swear to make yourself important, you are Domme from your personality not from your actions.
Her appearance should be consistent and appropriately thought out, this is weather she is at a party, Work, gardening or just going shopping. If she is a complete slob, how can a sub admire her if she does not take care, how can she take care of her sub if she does not?
Perhaps my attitude is not mainstream, but it is one I think can sustain a real long term relationship, which after all is what most of us crave. I welcome comments from both subs and other domina'. I just hope I've ticked the correct boxes to allow it.
Hugs,
Irene.
| 14 Mar 10, 7:24 PM TVlynn03 UK(CH), 2 yrs  |
No Dom,either in a private or dungeon situation,should ever resort to abusive behaviour. Such actions show you've lost control of yourself. There will be situations when,a sub will request to be abused as part of a scenario. As a PD you should always ensure a client is happy with certain swear words and physical abuse,to some it will offensive and a turn off! If you have a sub/slave you should maintain discipline through mutual consent. A lot of PD's will admit,that they have learnt from their subs/slaves. Also the sub/slave can be a help during sessions. I agree that no Mistress should ever look like a slob. This lowers the tone-after all the Mistress is looked upon as being in charge. By being a slob you are reducing ones self to level of the very person you training. I know many will say,look at so & so,they are tramps,but they get clients. Yes this may be true,but what sort of clients? In this case i suppose like attracts like. No,if you,have a sub/slave look after them. |
| 14 Mar 10, 7:41 PM WaterDragon UK(LN), 6 yrs |
I was not really thinking of the ProDomme field,in many of those scenes, the abuse is what the client asked for, I feel my comments were intended for the lifestyle arena. Hugs, Irene.
Yet Dom as I am _
Still I crave the wind from your sub wings |
