Switches playing in front of their Subs (45)

Not all subs top or switch so was wondering how does this work within this particular partnership.

Im different as my pleasure comes from pain so the control and power exchange isnt a major part but im sure (correct me if im wrong) this must be a huge part of a D/s partnership. So to one minute be with your Dom/me, have this element then next minute its diluted for you must be hard/confussing.

Does it remove an element of the dominating persona or does it intensify it?

I know there are couples who switch or subs who top but its the subs who dont yet are within a partnership where their Dom/me does, i find this an interesting dynamic as with Dom/me-Dom/me, Sub-Sub partnerships.

"Its Cheeky Time" OllieVW

On the other hand my sub has been also known to top and this regularly happens in front of me. In fact i encourage it... he has a female submissive and when they are both with me they are both my submissives and im the queen bee so to speak, though to be honest I do try to keep out of the way and let them get on with it... Im usually in bed being waited on hand and foot... its a tough life but someone has to live it

~* Raku wa ku no tané; ku wa raku no tané. *~

Can I ask why? what is it that you would lose?

Ive witnessed dom/mes switching and i still cant put my finger on how this would make me feel if they were my partner.

Ive witnessed Lima subbing before we became an item and I miss watching this now as I realy got off on it before but were are not in a D/s relationship so cant compare my feelings to that of a submissive.

"Its Cheeky Time" OllieVW

Interesting i wonder then if those who play together and switch but dont switch with each other have a reason for this.

"Its Cheeky Time" OllieVW

It ended as masochism is an intrinsic part of my switchiness so, although there was a great deal of affection, the way my masochism affected him was not going to change so it would have been a constant battle and one I was not prepared to fight in fairness to us both.

It wasn't a matter of me just telling him 'Tough, I'm the dominant and you'll have to put up and shut up if you want to be with me' but rather a recognition that there was a basic incompatibility over our kink desires and tolerance levels.

Edited 10 Mar 10, 7:52 AM by Caracal

Does the sub doing this switching enhance their original submission?

Many days one day
One should respect public opinion in so far as it is necessary to avoid starvation and keep out of prison, but anything that goes beyond this is voluntary submission to an unnecessary tyranny.
Web 2.0: it puts you close enough to care for but far enough away to snore my head off.

At our last session I received s very competent caning and was also the subject of her practising with a singletail.I guess from her reaction that this was her first time with this particular weapon and her clear delight at the feel and power of wielding it was a revelation.

I think that for many of us the whole principle of CP and power exchange is imbued with a depp fascination,and while our interests may well be focussed on one side of this it doesn't mean that we are not interested in experiencing the other.Some people don't like it,others find it just adds to the fascination.

I don't see it as something I'd lose respect of them because of, nor would I have a problem with it, as long as I'm already comfortable within the dynamic shared. I was very new back to the Scene at the time, and still hadn't really relaxed about a lot of things that I now look at as completely normal, so I suspect it would be different if it happened now.

At the end of the day, we all do this because we enjoy it. If my Domme is a switch, then (since I can't Domme or even Top to save my life) they're going to have to get that side of them dealt with by another person. I would never stand in the way of that, nor would I let it bother me...it's a separate dynamic to mine!

Two roads diverged in a wood and I, I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference. (R. Frost)
Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new (A. Einstein)
To be wronged is nothing unless you continue to remember it. ~Confucius

I was told last night by someone I have known a long time that I caused a lot of disappointment when I came out as a 'sub' I find this hilarious and at the same time I find it selfish and insulting because I had no sub when I openly confessed to P/E within my relationship.

We talk openly about how our relationship works with our sub and she's fine with that. If she wasn't then it couldn't possibly work. She has seen elements of our power exchange and it amuses her. She doesn't see us as any less dominant and of course we are not and that is why this 3 way relationship is so strong and so relaxed.

I know dominants that submit behind closed doors and who would never dream of letting their sub know because they fear it will show weakness. We on the other hand refuse to keep up a false persona.

Our new web site www.edgeplay.co.uk

My play-partner/sub knows that I switch, again in the play-party environment and accepts that it is a facet of me that exists. I'll let her comment on her own views.

At a recent party, I did have a scene which I decided my sub was not to witness, and I arranged for her to be otherwise occupied. The scene involved a fairly serious bit of kit and a very humiliating postion and treatment. It was more a case that I did not think it appropriate for her to see me in that situation, as her Dom, that somewhere a line needed to be drawn.

From the other point of view, having been a sub to various switch Dommes, I have no problem at all seeing them subbing, their character makes it very plain which role they are in when it is me tied to something *lol*

I'm primarily dominant with my partner, but occasionally I switch and will bottom either with her or somebody else. I don't submit to others and when I bottom, it's for play that is at the more sensual end of the spectrum.