The general perception of Femdom? (69)

Actually, do you mind if I politely decline the coconut...

Jahc99 wrote: Help, help, I'm being degraded!

Boast boast boast.

If you're not living on the edge....I can help.

Party Pooper

If you're not living on the edge....I can help.

Miss Blake,

I agree with what you are saying. At the same time (unfortunately), I don't think the climate is clearer now; there is just a different way for some Pro (I don't want to generalise as not everyone behave in the same way) to 'promote' their service or enterprises.

The reality is that (particularly in London) the 'scene' is full of Professionals and often their presence in events, discussions etc... do shift on the 'I do or don't do this in my service' (I have heard this so many time in Munches or in discussions).

I personally feel that Pro should use a different profile (and indeed the most correct do) to participate in discussions or events that are not directly link to their services or discussing Pro-Domming. For the majority of them their interest in participating in discussions choosing to use their Pro-profile is in order to 'be visible' and to be quoted as Pro. It is just a more sophisticated way to 'publicise' themselves and their services.

Far from wanting to go 'bashing' on Pro (as for the Lifestyle Pro is their jobs as much as their BDSM lifestyle), I do not support however, the growing reputation that the BDSM world (never mind the Fetish Scene as it is a completely different reality and it is ALL around 'Pros-activities & enterprises' for the majority of time and events) is the world of Pro. As we all know, there is also a great difference in being a 'specialised prostitute' and being a Pro-lifestyler (that do indeed promote and support directly many community events). But even in regard to Pro-lifestylers (as I'm not even remotely interested in 'so called' Prostitute/Escorts-Pro or Pimps as they are certainly not part of my BDSM world), the 'self-promoting' opportunity through online community spaces, aren't certainly passed by as opportunity to free 'advertising'.

This is exactly what has been caused many submissive men for example, to believe that there are no Dominant Women 'out there' and that the majority are Pro (either declared or in disguise). I not only do not wish to be associated with Pro-activities, but I do not wish to support this constant 'advertising' in our communities for such services.

I feel very strongly that this is the core of all problematic in relation to the perception of the FemDom world or Women Domination world in general, and I can understand perfectly why so many non-Pro Women, do not feel comfortable to be associate with the term FemDom, as it as become to signify mostly 'dominatrix' activities. Mostly the media in reference to Pro activities has used the very term 'dominatrix', and with the advent of the Internet it has played well in the end of the Pornographic Industry.

I'm not happy being associated in my lifestyle with an aggressive driving of Pro-advertising and enterprising. So I personally wouldn't say that 'the climate is clearer now', but that there is an 'appearance' that is clear, but it is not.

I would like to see how many Pro would be interested in continuing to participate actively in online discussions, or even in promoting social events (or play clubs etc) if they would not be allowed to use their Pro-Profile. I wouldn't be surprise if they suddenly would just stop giving 'free' advice, or even participate in discussions.

I respect more those that use two different profile and use them accordingly (and correctly) in relation to the interest of all community lifestylers and people interested in BDSM/PE activities in general.

Pre-Club Dinner & Drinks at Café' Rez's – for guests (UK and Abroad) attending Pedestal events [We usually try to get a table to seat near the entrance door as possible – A/all welcome]
"Be Safe and at Ease with your Nature"

Edited 20 Mar 10, 5:39 PM by MadamEmme

Why poison your liver when I could eat it for you?
The antidote to whinge threads...?

Edited 21 Mar 10, 10:45 AM by Jahc99

I have been active on the London scene for some 5 years now and I have to say that this hasn't been my experience, though of course that could be as a consequence of the events that I tend to attend. I am aware that Pedestal is supposed to be like that but again in the times that I have attended I have not particularly noticed this

I know several pro Dommes on this site that only use one profile and post regularly, as far as Im aware none of them are looking for a 'relationships' outside that of the professional one. Those that do hold two profiles tend to be those that are also looking for non-professional relationships too.

I see no problem with a PD posting from their PD profile if they are adding to the discussion from a non-professional prospective. Many of them are lifestyle Dominas with many years experience and therefore have a lot of valuable experiences/advice to share with us.

In my experience the submissive male that is genuinely submissive does not doubt that there are dominant women around. The difficulty is the men that lay claim to being submissive but are either not in to D/s at all and spend too much time watching the porn that have their perceptions tainted... they say such things as a way of trying to undermine us and to try to belittle us... it wont work as those of us who are dominant and those that serve us know the reality... the opinion of the keyboard warrior/fantasist should not really matter to us. The question is do we rise to the challenge and try to prove ourselves... and no i don't think we should, but we will regularly be baited with this simply because this is their own perception and until they step away from the wank fodder they won't or can't grasp the concept of anything other than that.

I agree completely that the porn industry has produced this idea of what it is to be a femdom, in fact the term originated as being theirs. We see examples of this in some of the PD's that we see with their all men are scum attitude... this is not what female domination is about. So I can fully understand why the majority of genuine female dominants wouldn't want to be associated with the label, and with that image in mind nor do I. I think there needs to be a shift in trend... for example, is it not possible for Female dominants to go in to that industry and produce material which is authentic to the principles of female domination rather than selling themselves out by producing material manufactured by men for men, or pandering to the male market?

If we remove the fly by nights and the male idiots from the Pro domination equation there are a lot of people that potentially benefit from this type of relationship, for many it is the only way that they are able to experience their fantasy of submitting to a female dominant... as I have posted previously for many regular customers they view the Dominant as being their Mistress, and the dynamic is very similar to that of a D/s relationship other than money exchanges hands... in my opinion there is a place for professional domination within the realms of female domination though it is difficult not to become blinkered by the massive negative stereotypes that we so regularly see.

~* Raku wa ku no tané; ku wa raku no tané. *~

"Far from wanting to go 'bashing' on Pro (as for the Lifestyle Pro is their jobs as much as their BDSM lifestyle), I do not support however, the growing reputation that the BDSM world (never mind the Fetish Scene as it is a completely different reality and it is ALL around 'Pros-activities & enterprises' for the majority of time and events) is the world of Pro. As we all know, there is also a great difference in being a 'specialised prostitute' and being a Pro-lifestyler (that do indeed promote and support directly many community events). But even in regard to Pro-lifestylers (as I'm not even remotely interested in 'so called' Prostitute/Escorts-Pro or Pimps as they are certainly not part of my BDSM world), the 'self-promoting' opportunity through online community spaces, aren't certainly passed by as opportunity to free 'advertising'."

I'm fully aware that there is a difference in intent in people (Pro or not Pro) that determines a real interest in supporting the community, or mainly using it. Again, is that intent reflected in behaviour (virtual or real) that makes and breaks the reputation of the London community. The London Scene is already known as the spoiled ground of rich peoples and those that exploit them (and that is known everywhere in Europe). The BDSM Scene is a different matter, and it is in this context that my 'provoking' post was written. It was not a 'generalization of the world of Pro', but a specific point in regard to the 'distortions' in the use and terms of FemDom, and why such 'reputations' have taken over the real meaning of this (and related) term. This discourse should not be judge as an 'anti-Pro' campaign.. lol

Pre-Club Dinner & Drinks at Café' Rez's – for guests (UK and Abroad) attending Pedestal events [We usually try to get a table to seat near the entrance door as possible – A/all welcome]
"Be Safe and at Ease with your Nature"

I said I found your post "thought provoking" which is very different to just "provoking". I found the points you raised interesting and wanted to add my own thoughts to these. I did not accuse you of pro bashing, far from it... you have raised some very valid points which I found most interesting.

I know this is somewhat off topic but Im not aware that the london scene is thought of as a "spoilt playground for the rich".... and have to be honest to say that amazes me some what... do you know why people outside of the scene itself should view it in this way? My experience is so very different to that..... though I do tend to loaf around prodominantly in the s&m side of things which is so very different to the fetish side.

~* Raku wa ku no tané; ku wa raku no tané. *~

My apologies hinoeuma if I came across somehow 'defensive'.. I should use the 'smiling' faces more often (as I can't stand them) since my written English may be too dry (and I often get misunderstood for this).

I did mean it as you mention above. In fact I took the 'thought provoking' as a compliment and not in any other way.

My concern is about 'Pro' may feel that mine was a 'bushing' on the general term per se. Not at all. As I already said, I know that there is a difference between being an active community lifestyle-person (that is also a Pro as his/her profession) and a mere 'specialised escort'. And this in specific relation to the issue of the 'perception' of the world of FemDom, as some uses Munch gathering (or other community events) to publicised them selves to newbies (more or less expletively), or virtual community spaces to simply promote themselves (and not at all interested in participating in the discussion per se). There is a very different intent that only the fools will not see clearly when it is present. I have many friends that are Pro, and I have this (and similar) discussion with them too in private (as in public), quite often. I never lost my respect for their dedication and passion, as they do know me for my integrity and honesty (as much as directness… lol).

I read your thoughts too, with lot of attention and interest.

Pre-Club Dinner & Drinks at Café' Rez's – for guests (UK and Abroad) attending Pedestal events [We usually try to get a table to seat near the entrance door as possible – A/all welcome]
"Be Safe and at Ease with your Nature"

Edited 21 Mar 10, 4:09 PM by MadamEmme

Not this one. I didn't have much access to femdom porn when I was seven. But judging by most I've seen since, I think I would have found the level of sophistication a bit "young" for me.

I AM THE GOD OF HELL-FIRE!.....but its my lunch break right now