How unique/abnormal am I (9)

I was wondering is this a common driver or am I unique or perhaps abnormal. Some more details that may help decide are;

I have had a desire to submit for as long as I can remenber, I think first signs go back to 7/8 yrs old.

My particular fetish is being physically over powered by very large women, at least 6ft and heavily built (current partner is 6ft3 24st and I have met ProDoms up to 6ft9 and 30st).

Sometimes I have gone for years without giving into this desire but eventually I the desire to submit becomes overwhelming and I start the, usually, long search to find another large woman who enjoys dominating or sometimes just beating a smaller man.

When I meet a genuinely dominant/sadistic woman I don't enjoy the meetings, I feel fear, pain and terror like anyone else would, but enjoy the anticipation of the meeting and fantisise about it aferwards for days, weeks or even years.

I am driven to go/submit further each time, usually it reaches a peak when I think I have been lucky to get away relatively undamaged and then I stop until the urge builds up again.

Recently I had my first Bi experience, my partner set up a meeting with a man twice my size who wanted to experience forcing another man to submit to him, I learnt from this that I am definitely not gay while being beaten and crushed into complete submission to him, a truely horrible experience but one I have alrady started fantising about.

Does anyone else have this submissive drive that leads them to put themselves in sitations where they are completely at the mercy of someone else, without the benefit of safewords or an agreed script for the session.

Not casualy, once in a relationship i go without safe words. To be honest what you said doesnt ring true to me. It sounds like your Desire leads your enjoyment and life is truly better the other way around.

I recken chil out and come to a munch, there you can have fun, talk to others of your way of life, and may even meet potental partners. By being friends first with new partner you wll find yourself less fearful of that first encounter and will reap the rewards of a long term Ds relationship.

Good luck

You are correct I am lead by my desire rather than enjoyment. I wish it was the other way round, but suspect that after all this time it is not going to change now.

I understand the dread and hating the actual act, but enjoying it afterwards. My girl feels the same about whippings.

You are unique, your desires ad reactions aren't. I hope that's a comfort to you. You're among friends here

You know they say it's always the quiet ones you have to watch? That's me.

For many, fantasising about the latter type is far more exciting. The "how close to the wind can you sail" mentality that many of us enjoy does, on occasion, get us into trouble - but that's kind of the point, really, and what makes it exciting.

BGT, it sounds to me like you've made a habit of living fantasies in the third category, and pushing yourself past a level of what you're actually comfortable with.

It's just conjecture, but my reaction would be to suggest that you try to find something a bit less "extreme" - as defined by your own sense of trepidation and/or enjoyment.

Your fantasies are well within the grounds of normality (inasmuch as any of ours are), but the way you're acting on them would seem, to me anyway, to be a little more unusual - the "extreme sports" mentality to your fantasies, if you will.

I would think it would be possible for you to find a balance short of your current experiences (and how short is entirely for you to discover) which would actually allow you to maintain a more manageable level of D/s interaction that met your needs without leaving you feeling so drained afterwards.

The short version of all the above is basically to suggest you "tone it down a little" - but I always think it's helpful to know *why*.

The alternative argument is that if you're enjoying what you're doing (at least before and after) and you don't think it's doing you any damage (that lasts) then what's the problem?

Good luck finding the answer.

A.

er actually no you are not alone.

Ok from a completely different perspective. No you are not unique in enjoying fear and seeking situations where the enjoyment of the fear can greatly exceed enjoyment of the actual happening.

I'm also into the same. Well the same, as in seeking intense situations that will allow me to embrace the fear and enjoy playing and dealing with it and it's effect on me. I think there's a few of us around who love fear, it's my second favourite thing after pain, so don't fret

Yes, very often in order to get that fear we will need to push ourselves into situations that take things further, or those we will not actually enjoy experiencing. I understand exactly where you are coming from and funnily enough was talking about this just the other night with friends.

Yes to get that level/type of fear we desire it needs to be new and unknown or further than we've experienced before. It's very easy to see how that might lead us into scenarios where we do not actually enjoy the experience but it's well worth enduring for the fabulous pleasure we get from the fear. I strive myself to try to attain both the fear and enjoyment of the scene. Partly as I see fear as being a perfect sort of catalyst to enhance the pleasure that I also get from pain.

So not entirely the same situation as yours, but yes exactly the same sort of prolonged pleasure from the fear. I had a scene last year of this sort which involved a lot of planning and importantly loads of psychological elements and mind games over a period of months leading up to it that served to continually up and up the fear and gave me the opportunity to experience it and control it and play with and enjoy it in an incredibly satisfying way and gave me a hell of a lot of pleasure over a long period of time. Although I greatly enjoyed the experience when it happened and consider it my most intense pleasurable experience to date, I did probably very easily enjoy the fear as much. It definitively also enhanced the experience when it did happen.

The difference with me though, is that's it's not the only thing I'm doing to satisfy my desires. I'm also doing other regular things which give me pleasure from pain. So it's more of an irregular special scenario to indulge my sexual pleasure from fear.

Best of luck with it and enjoy I think there's loads of us who enjoy fear on here, hopefully some will be along to discuss soon the different ways they indulge this pleasure.

Edited 8 Mar 10, 2:38 PM by Persia_Porsche

It has but is now reaching the stage where I am begining to be pushed further than I am comfortable with.

This is a reocurring problem for me, these relationships seem to be time limited as the domme naturally enjoys pushing further each time and eventually reaches the point where my sense of self presevation takes over and I have to call a stop to any further escalation. This is usually the point at which my relationship begin to fizzle out, although this time I am actively trying to slow the progression down.

I fully accept that I'm in a minority of one here, but I'd say you're mixing with the wrong types! One duty of a dominant, in my book at least, is taking responsibility for the sub's wellbeing.

A Domme that pushes and pushes to the point that YOU have to back off for the sake of self-preservation is, as far as I'm concerned, dangerous as hell.

ETA: Speaking personally, I don't find it at all natural to want to push further every time. I'd go so far as to wonder if any Dom/me found this natural. Logically, it'd be very counter-productive, as you'd end up killing everyone you played with for any length of time.

You know they say it's always the quiet ones you have to watch? That's me.

Edited 8 Mar 10, 11:43 PM by Fitznicely

I used to enjoy putting myself in dangerous situations. In my private life I have always dabbled heavily with risk.

M

Space travels in my blood. And there ain't nothing I can do about it.
I know I'm being used, that's okay cause I like the abuse.
I can resist everything except temptation.
It's always funny until someone gets hurt and then it's just hilarious.
Cake or Death?
She'll tie a noose with your heartstrings

Edited 8 Mar 10, 11:53 PM by misfit

I personally think you wouldnt be human without having some fear and trepidation going into any kind of power exchange relationship. There is always the sense of anticipation, and what if's that should all create a big kin buzz or fear and adrenaline.

I dont think you lose this over time, my heart still races as soon as i hear "She who must be obeyed" call my name as its not knowing what is coming next!

As long as its not hurting you or anyone else, then dont try and analyse it too much, unless its beginning to wear you down and then you may need to adjust and change!

Take care submale_slave Darren

"insert witty comment here, i cant think of one"