Just An Old Fashioned View (27)

The "pocket money" thread in particular, made it clear that many submissive women knew they chose to share a relationship based on some "old fashioned" gender values and made no apology for it. At least unlike fifty years ago, they do have the freedom of choice.

Not surprisingly at my age, I share those views. It's what people of my generation called "treating women like women". This means the woman is protected and the man bears certain responsibilities on his shoulders. I'm not endorsing it, I'm merely supporting the right of individuals to retain those views through choice.

I've never been involved in a D/s relationship where pre-negotiations haven't retained that "old fashioned" principal. Primarily because that suited the dominant female concerned. There are rules and protocols which can severely curtail the freedom of the submissive and give full control to the dominant but still leave the submissive with the duty of responsibility.

I dread to think what the submissive female with the "old fashioned" approach must think of submissive men (but has been too nice to say) if she thought that submission invariably meant seeking to be protected by, and letting the other burden responsibilities.

Do those who prefer the dominant to be protector see it as separate but complimentary to a D/s lifestyle or an essential element of it? Also is this perhaps an area where there is a general distinction between F/m and M/f?

Second: I think two people who love each other naturally protect and serve each other no matter the dynamic. I think the question here is less one of role and more one of ability.

I have read the pocket money thread and although I didn't post there, like many others, I'm terrible with money and would like nothing more than for my dom to control it, because he's much better with it than me. But there are some things (not a lot) that I do better than him and I'd love to offer my skills to him as a service, even if through that service what I'm actually accomplishing is to protect his safety, his health, his dignity, his comfort, his peace-of-mind. . .well, you get the point.

ETA: a smiley, just to be more annoying

love the brave but avoid cowards, knowing the gratitude of cowards is small ~Praxilla of Sicyon

That's an excellent point.

Sadly, there's a world of difference between understanding it all and having the self-discipline to color inside the lines when money is the crayon.

love the brave but avoid cowards, knowing the gratitude of cowards is small ~Praxilla of Sicyon

I would expect nothing less from him and even more when it came to physical protection. Does than make him an equal or does it make him a protector?

The older I get the more old fashion in my thoughts I am becoming. I want a man who has manners, has morales that he sticks to and is therefore consistent and, amongst other things, who likes a woman to be a woman.

RD xx

It is not what you say or do but the way you say or do it
"Russian roulette is not the same without a gun and baby when its love, if it's not rough ,then it is not fun"

Edited 7 Mar 10, 2:24 PM by River_Deep

Ditto. It's good to know I only have 20 good years left in me, especially as the six pills I have to take every day tend to make me feel old anyway.

You don't have to be of a certain age to have traditional values. My interpretation of the 24/7 M/s dynamic is that it's very much an expression of traditional values: I'm the head of my household, with corresponding duties of care, protection, provision and leadership. I expect my girl to behave with self-discipline and dignity, to do as she's told and see to my needs.

She has skills that surpass mine, especially in her professional life. I'm proud to have such an intelligent, knowledgeable girl, and I certainly don't agree that her being better at some things takes away from my dominance over her.

You know they say it's always the quiet ones you have to watch? That's me.

^^^^^

376, xxx.

"Life at its best is a creative synthesis of opposites in fruitful harmony" - Martin Luther King, Jr.

I'm an old fashioned girl, a submissive by nature, and yes, I believe in treating women as women, I certainly love to have this happen although very often it doesn't. I looked at your profile to find you are as old as me, 57 years, so not with the dinasoars then .. we're on a par .. I don't believe behaviour and preferences has anything to do with the lifestyle, I think it's a way of life and very much up to the dynamics of those concerned. Everyone is different. There is no right or wrong. I personally love the trad male, someone who will respect and dignify rather than put me down simply because I'm submissive. I am intelligent, I have a brain, I have qualities and skills. I would hope in a relationship that one compliments the other. But then that doesn't mean I don't like being controlled, which I do. It's what turns me on. It's what keeps me going. It's what I'm about. And I can't help that. Thanks for the post, it's always interesting to learn other people's points of view. How boring if we were all the same!

to be a submissive is truly living the dream ...

Can we please agree that there is nothing inherently womanly about submission?

It's lovely and great and all that, but it doesn't define me as a woman, and there's nothing more womanly about being submissive, or more manly about being dominant, for those who don't choose to do so.

I know it was probably just a throwaway phrase, but seeing approved womanliness equated with submission makes me *facepalm*

It's International Women's Day tomorrow. Women get to *choose* to be submissive, not have it imposed upon them by some weirdass idea that it's part of being female.

Makes me cringe also because this is something my mum would say whenever I tried to make her understand she really needs to get a grip on what her husband is doing with her retirement money.

Leaves me to worry about protecting her when she finds out. Very "womanly" indeed.

[Rant over. Sorry.]

As for your initial question, I think you will find the whole spectrum. I try to protect my subs and take care of them. But so far I have not met anyone I would have cared enough for to go the whole way and implement a "full role reversal" scenario.

Edited 7 Mar 10, 3:19 PM by Heroine_London

Equality is a myth. No two people are equal. Should you get paid equally for equal work? No doubt. But everyone has strengths and weaknesses. And sometimes those strengths *are* weaknesses, and vice-versa.

I'm certainly not old (nor am I anywhere near the youngest person on this board) at 32. But I've had certain "traditional values" as core beliefs for a while now.

I look at it this way - D/s is natures way. The Silverback gorilla is the perfect example of a good Dom (imo) - he's in charge, and no-one would dream of trying to undermine him. But with that power, what does he do? He puts himself between his family and danger, he leads them, he cares for them. He won't sit down to eat until he's sure his family is safe, warm, dry and well fed. He's gentle with the young, but forever firm.

Is he "old fashioned"??? Or is it just natures way? I'd assert that it's natural for some of us to fall into a D/s life that involves certain roles. For me, that's protector, guide, nurturer, teacher, (ideally) inspirer, provider. Not to say that I'd mind my girl guiding me from time to time, especially on subjects she knows more about. Or nurturing me, inspiring me, providing for my needs etc etc.

I for one don't think "old fashioned" is the right term. Unless you want to say that breathing is "old fashioned" too, because they're both an inseperable part of who I am *naturally*.