A step too far ? (25)

The silky-smooth soothing voice of reason and logic. (You WILL feel much better and speak more sense while very securely tied-up...)

Edited 4 Mar 10, 2:31 PM by SirLashleyS

Nurse_Ratched wrote: in my role as a cathartic domme I've received this confessional which I've agreed to post on their behalf Not long after I first started to explore my submissive side, a long time before I even realised I had a dominant aspect to myself , my then girlfriend took vicious delight in putting me into positions of extreme discomfort for her pleasure. She had encouraged and exploited in me a fetish for wetting and being wet, mainly ,but not entirely through pee play and humiliation and punishment. One night I got a phone call informing me she needed a lift home from a friends house and so, given I'd not long passed my test, I dutifully drove out on a really lovely ,mild summer night to pick her up. Everything was perfectly ordinary until we got to the bottom of her road when she told me to keep on driving and we ended up arriving at a park, one notorious for gay men meeting up late at night, and I was informed I was to park on the little car park there, this would be about 10.30 at night I think. When we parked up she told me we were going for a walk and to be honest I pretty much assumed we'd end up having sex in the woods, something both she and I had (and in my case still do) enjoyed massively. I was very wrong. As we got away from the carpark and walked past a couple of furtive looking blokes she told me that she wanted me to show her how devoted to her I was, and that to proove myself I was to strip off completely. I don't think I've EVER been as nervous, I was 19, very niave in a lot of ways and totally besotted and submissive to her (even though perhaps without the understanding about that sort of thing I have now) and scared to hell and back that I was going to end up being thrown to the men in the park (as I say...I was totally freaked out and not really thinking that straight). Anyway, I undressed, trying to slow things down as much as possible, taking pretty much every way I could to give her a chance to change her mind or just announce it was a joke or pisstake.And obviously, she gave me no chance or way out...so I ended up stood naked, scared, almost in tears and shaking like a leaf, though....I know I was also very very aroused. Then she explained what was going to happen, she got out a very Laura Ashley like scarf from her handbag and tied it fairly loosely round my neck, leaving enough length to pul me by it like a lead. I was then told to kneel down and start moving around on all fours "like my bitch" as she put it. I spent the next half hour being led around on all fours in the deeper bits of the woodland whilst she led me close, buy not actually directly to a couple of men playing with each other in the trees and bushes, I was convinced she was going to hand me over to someone but she never did, she just took me close, then either turned us in another direction or, in the last case, actually walked us past and through the little clearing where one older man was getting head from a much younger man. She stopped there so the one getting head could see me but then carried on. I think that moment as we stopped near those two men was the most worrying bit but after that she took me roughly in a circle back to where I'd undressed, she asked me did I like beign her bitch, and other comments along those lines, before tellign me that all dogs shoudl mark their territory and that I would only be allowed to get dressed and leave with her after I'd peed like a dog on all fours.I was just totally headfucked, scared, turned on, I'd cried a couple of times and I had this wierd mixture of feelings of panic and desire to submit so much it really did hurt me. I peed ,obviously and started sobbing as I did but she did at that point tell me she was proud of her bitch and gave me a very fast and frankly pretty explosive handjob. Looking back, I felt abused, used, violated, made into someone else and totally broken for about a week, I was quiet, withdrawn and mostly lost in my own thoughts for days afterwards. Its not something I ever repeated with her ,university and new friendship groups for both of us got in the way and we drifted, though still speak once in every few years if we bump into each other in a pub or whatever. Its still one of the most important submissive things I've ever done and theres a part of, older and tubbier though I am now, that aches to go through a similar or even more abusive experience at the hands of a dominant woman, but whether I could go through with it.I genuinely don't know.Part of me wants it very much and part of me still feels sickened and ashamed that I want it and want it so badly.

The length of the confession that he sent you is a step to far in itself. lol

That made me giggle!

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~> SweetS <~
*)).~*^*~.((*

Tis my most extreme, and erotic fantasy.

Would I act it out in the real world? Don't know, seem to be struggling to find just one man, let alone several.

Pen

You say Ouch like it's a bad word.

But as hot as it sounds and as much as I think about it, I am not sure I would ever want to do it in real life. Because what then? Celebacy???

Subette

I want to reconcile the violence in your heart. I want to recognize your beauty is not just a mask. - Muse, Undisclosed desires

Edited 5 Mar 10, 10:49 AM by subette

Me too!

Ah semen. What is it about that ridiculous white secretion that pulls down the corners of an Englishman's mouth?
The state has no business in the bedrooms of the nation - Pierre Trudeau
A denizen of a right little, tight little island.

Find that hard to believe.. !

Fitz

Escaped from the parallel universe

Id go with those 3! albeit from the oppposite side

shall i mourn your decline with some thunderbird wine.....

Some time fantasies are to remain fantasies and some time not. It depends not only in actualising a fantasy and if we are at ease in living our nature or a particular activities.... But we must think of the 'after' too and it is important to ask oneself, how would I feel after (not just immediately after) about my self? Would I be able to respect my self?

As a dominant, there have been moments and circumstances were I had to make that choice and the only way I could make that decision was to know my hard limits and respect them; not being prepared to change them for anyone or base on mere circumstances (in other words even when the opportunity did present itself).

Some fantasies are a 'must' to realise, some others are just fantasies, and we should feel happy knowing that we have the courage to be true to our selves in any case. To go over one's hard-limits without real 'awareness of consent', is never a good idea, whether is to do with other people or oursef.

Of 'all the things I have done' is this going to be a regret or a wild memory?

Be Safe and at Ease with your Nature...
Mdm.Masha [The City of London Femdom/Women of Leather Munch's Group Profile on: Fetlife.Alt.Facebook.FemDomZone.Legami.BacaroSadico .IC.. and more]

Edited 6 Mar 10, 8:58 AM by MadamEmme