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This post is on the D/s & M/s web board.

7 Mar 10, 10:13 PM
Meek1Looking
UK(SE), 2 yrs

subbie_Sir wrote:

Sponge_boobs wrote:

subbie_Sir wrote:
On both occasions that I thought there was something going on, I took steps to gain access to their email and messenger accounts, and on both occasions my fears were justified. It's one thing to feel you don't want to know if he's cheating, it's another thing to allow yourself to be made a fool of. I would want to know.

Good luck

xxx

im sorry to say but its out of order and a bit weird to gain access to someones private accounts in order to find something out.

Yes, since it's clearly so much less weird and less out of order to lie to somebody in order to get sex from them...

Plus it's much cheaper and easier than a private detective. If you share a computer you simply download a free keystroke logger from downloads.com, wait till they use the computer and hey presto you now have all their passwords plus the records of any online conversations and emails they have sent.

If people think that's weird - tough. They shouldn't be dating me and they shouldn't be cheating. Just be glad I didn't replace all their status updates with 'I am a lying toerag who just got caught cheating on my girlfriend.'

xxx

''It is absurd to divide people into good and bad. People are either charming or tedious.'' Wilde.

7 Mar 10, 10:18 PM
Meek1Looking
UK(SE), 2 yrs

Think its weird to download anything to check on a parner....like looking at their mobiles phone...its life,sad to say,many cheaters so suck it up and live with it...or get rid!! only your choise Without trust,its not a relationship,its a sham,,yep ,,had it done to me,,but you live and learn,and hopefully grow,,xx

''It is absurd to divide people into good and bad. People are either charming or tedious.'' Wilde.

7 Mar 10, 10:29 PM
Stillyet
UK(DG), 2 yrs

Tinkabelle wrote:
Suspected lies frrom Dom to sub

How far would you go to catch someone out if you thought they were lying to you? Would you catch them out? ask them outright? or trust your own instincts?

I agree with what others have said that it isn't necessarily the case that he's lying to you. However, it is clearly the case that you no longer trust him; and thus the relationship is pretty much broken, unless you can find a way to rebuild that trust. And if you are going to do that you may need to ask him to help you - not because he's a bad man who's been lying to you, but because you've had trust issues.

I actually feel that 'trying to catch him out' doesn't help this relationship at all. If he is lying the relationship is broken, and if he learns how much you distrust him, the relationship is broken. But if you're prepared to accept that this relationship is beyond rescue, then trying to catch him out may be helpful to your next relationship. You may find your Dom is lying to you, in which case your fear is justified, and you are justified in carrying on with your current level of distrust of men.

But if he isn't - if your fear and insecurity has wrecked a perfectly good relationship - then that's something you need to learn and internalise and take with you into your next relationship, which, hopefully, will not end in the same way.

All men pretty much are bastards, I agree - but we're not all dishonest or disloyal bastards.

;; Semper in faecibus sumus, sole profundum variat.
Some of my stories are here. Others are here.

7 Mar 10, 10:38 PM
Stillyet
UK(DG), 2 yrs

Woah.

If anyone tried to get access to my private accounts, that would cause very serious, probably irrecoverable, damage to the relationship. Trust is the glue relationships are made of, and I can't think of any clearer way of saying 'I don't trust you' than that.

;; Semper in faecibus sumus, sole profundum variat.
Some of my stories are here. Others are here.