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| jules9 |
I find it bizarre, that on a site where I can discuss things as intimate as anal orgasms and IBS, I still struggle to post about this.
It's a very cruel disease, that I struggle with in one way or the other on a daily basis. I'm one of the lucky ones though, I'm stage II and managed to get diagnosed just four years after "developing" the illness (which for HS is remarkably short), so I've tried pretty much most of the treatments out there.
I'm just feeling sorry for myself at the moment, I have an interview on Thursday and another on Friday (a second interview where I've been whittled down to the final two). The problem is I've had a recurring lump over the past week or so, the bastard finally burst tonight (tried a hot needle on it to no avail already!), so I was made up - in huge amounts of pain, but relieved that at least with a dressing I could get on with things. No such luck, the lump has decided to come back, and I now have a lovely golf ball in the front of my knickers, that is just ridiculously painful.
So the chances are I'll hobble into this interview on Thursday, and no matter what anyone says, I'll be judged on it, and it will be very unlikely that they'll appreciate the fact I've hauled my ass over there in extreme amounts of pain...
The most frustrating thing about HS is having to accept you'll never have a normal life, despite the fact that most of the time I am perfectly healthy. I'll always have days/weeks where I am completely bed bound, I'll always have more sick days than I want to have to take, I'll always have scars and lumps to "ick" people out, chances are I'll always be depressed because of it.
I'm a stubborn cow though, I'm entitled to apply for DLA and a blue badge etc, but I'm pigheadedly refusing to go for any of them. It may seem like I am cutting off my nose to spite my face, but to me it's about the fact that most of the time I am well, and during those times I would just feel like I was abusing the system.
This is just a complete brain dump, so apologies to anyone who actually read it - I just needed to vent!
XxX
| 24 Feb 10, 1:30 AM OllieVW 3 yrs  |
BIG BIG HUG xxxxxxxxx
lumps in your knickers eh Sweetie if you get this regularly your way way more into pain than me. Pilonodial cyst on the crack of me ass was bad enough.
Just do your best at the interview, you never know they might be kinky xx So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. | ||
| 24 Feb 10, 1:36 AM jules9 UK(CH), 3 yrs    |
That's Jonathan to you! To be fair, I'm not - there's a reason I do everything I can to avoid surgery, although I think I do genuinely understand the pain you've been in! Anyway, you should have seen me on Saturday squealing and screaming from a light breast beating. That said, I REALLY want to see a "pain off" between you and misscreant - she's seriously like a male you!!! Thanks for the hug btw - exactly what I needed. XxX | ||
| 24 Feb 10, 1:44 AM OllieVW 3 yrs |
Your welcome xxx wish i was coming next week would have been good to meet alot of interesting people. Hope G's behaving and enjoy the company of the other scottish peeps coming down im sure you will.
So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. | ||
| 24 Feb 10, 5:07 AM Kali_Ma UK(B), 5 yrs |
*hugs* Sounds harsh. I suffer with a chrinic condition too and yes sometimes it's hard to keep fighting but you're a girl so that automatically makes you a fighter! Keep going, don't let it get you down and good luck for the interview... I had one last Friday when I was suffering from a throat infection, thought I'd blown it, but they've asked me back again so it is doable!!! Let us know how you get on. K x It's pronounced 'Car-Lee' *G* | ||
| 24 Feb 10, 7:56 AM Amber_Light 3 yrs |
I really can't imagine just how this affects you on a daily basis. Go to that interview with all the gumption I know you have and show them what you're made of. If you do have to limp in there literally, they don't need to know anything at this stage so just brush it off as a small leg injury that was not going to get in your way and maybe they will see the determined lady that you are that we see  Good look! | ||
| 24 Feb 10, 8:47 AM FionualaHLC UK(RG), 5 yrs |
*hugs* I may not feel that pain, but I do know what it is like (as we have discussed). HS is something I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy after living so closely to it. Think about the blue badge, even if you decide to rarely use it. Better to have it and not need it, than to need it and not have it. It was a big fight for us to get one for his HS and he is bordering on stage III now, so the more given out for it, the more the illness will be known about and hopefully some day be researched for a proper treatment or cure. Hang in there, hope the lump resolves itself quickly. Good luck with the interview. | ||
| 24 Feb 10, 9:18 AM Wiley_Kit UK(PE), 7 yrs |
Not much to say (as Id never heard of HS before) but best of luck to you on Thursday and Friday, I'll be thinking positive thoughts for you. I can't believe I've no control | ||
| 24 Feb 10, 10:04 AM jules9 UK(CH), 3 yrs |
Thanks everyone, sorry for the dumping - was just feeling sorry for myself. My antibiotics are a new type to me and I'm amazed how I've woke up feeling (much, much better), so fingers crossed I'll be walking fine tomorrow! Thanks again for the kind words - they mean more than you'd probably realise. XxX | ||
| 24 Feb 10, 11:50 AM Alien8OR UK(CH), 6 yrs |
I saw the beating and it didn't look that light to me  .I do hope the interviews go well , I know how much they mean. As an aside I think your 'stubbornness' , very admirable others might call it strength of character , determination. It say a lot about you & it all good. Fetishism; more fun than golf. |
