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| MissP |
I am slowly coming to the realisation that I'm even more old-fashioned and traditional than I thought. And to be honest, I don't mind, so shoot me!
This came about last week, whilst having a chat with a good friend. I somewhat indignantly said that her blokey should be looking after her, and she retorted, "Why, because he has a penis?". And I thought "YES!". That's what your man should be doing. Now, I know that isn't at all PC. I also know full well, that gerls, self included, are *more* than capable of looking after both themselves and their partners AND families. But it doesn't neccessarily make it right or desireable! Purely a personal opinion of course, and somewhat subjective, but I do think blokes should be looking after their partners, in the general sense. As in going out to work, doing the heavy stuff round the house etc etc. Cherishing.
This isn't really linked, but is along the same lines of me wanting to live 50s stylee, going out in couture dresses with matching hat, gloves, bag and shoes. When women looked and acted like women! Or alternatively, the 1780-90s, all Les Liaisons dangereuses, big dresses, tight corsets and lots of plotting and whispering behind fans (I nominate Demii and Alexandraa as my co-conspirators in this, they'd be fab!). I am wondering if this is a liking of sets of subtle etiquettes and protocols - for both men and women. It was all so much more civillised! People knew better where they stood and what their expectations were, to and from other people. Who knows...
*shrug*
Edited Mon 22 Feb 10, 7:44 PM by MissP
| 22 Feb 10, 4:21 PM Lj_switch UK, 2 yrs   |
I find it sad that good manners are considered un-PC I can't see why opening a door for a lady, standing up when she comes into a room, giving up your seat in a crowded train threatens their status. I do not intend such actions to demean the lady, quite the opposite. But then, good manners are apparently the mark of a loser in a world where "me, me, me" and "look what I've got" and "I'm tougher than you" are considered marks of success.
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| 22 Feb 10, 4:29 PM MissP UK(EN), 8 yrs |
Those actions I've always thought of as gentlemanly, and nothing to do with domness or subness
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| 22 Feb 10, 5:02 PM Doghouse_Reilly UK(MK), 6 yrs |
I don't know where people get the idea that good manners have gone out of fashion from. I mean sure, the plebs still act like burberry furred howler monkeys, but that was always how they rolled. Civilised folk never stopped being civilised. Unless there was a revolution while I wasn't paying attention and everything changed and I missed it*. *Which would be just my luck. “Some people never go crazy, What truly horrible lives they must live” | ||
| 22 Feb 10, 5:06 PM Lj_switch UK, 2 yrs |
thank you I wasn't intending any link between Domness and subness. I would do all those things for my sub/play-partner, except when "in scene"
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| 22 Feb 10, 5:53 PM ThedaVamp UK, 6 yrs |
Manners and courtesy are essential, but I've yet to meet a man who can wield power tools as effectively as I. Perverted Pederast Puppetmistress Pimp Pandering to the Patriarchy... apparently | ||
| 22 Feb 10, 6:12 PM just_tope 6 yrs |
Bloody hell, we actually agree on something 
Nothing wrong with gentlemanly behaviour, it's a pleasure. I stopped thinking I had to be a bloke to be independant a long time ago. The old fashioned values, and feminity of it, is as I've always thought it should be, and more and more women are coming to the same conclusion. However, as Theda says, I've still to meet a bloke who can decorate, sort a car and program the sky/video etc (cooking makes up for it though) "If confusion is the first step to knowledge, I must be a genius" ~ Larry Leissner | ||
| 22 Feb 10, 6:34 PM faeryboi UK(E), 5 yrs |
I have to say on some aspects i can see your point. Its become a lifelong labour since women were expected to have kids keep the home in some semblance of order AND work full time. Whilst in the 'old' days the men were the providers and the women could stay home cook pies and wear a pinny.
You cannot shake hands with a clenched fist.
Indira Gandhi | ||
| 22 Feb 10, 6:44 PM CookieMonster UK, 6 yrs |
I think the problem is, and one you are also guilty of in a way, the failure to make the distinction between roles as in tasks and roles as in behaviour. Varying degrees of flexability in the former are good for all I think but the failure to seperate it from behaviour has resulted in maanners and chivrally taking a trashing.
Just because i can cook a pie doesn't mean i have to mince about like a girly. As for behaviour you dont go far wrong with a trad approach imo, unless i'm drunk...
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| 22 Feb 10, 7:14 PM MissP UK(EN), 8 yrs |
Lezza | ||
| 22 Feb 10, 7:18 PM MissP UK(EN), 8 yrs |
Cars are dirty, never touch them*, I don't have a 7 year old handy, so himself has to do all remote controlling and programming, but I did do the decorating! And I completely agree re cooking!! It isn't neccessarily about assigned gender tasks per se, although as we've seen, that is a part of it. Something I have learned over the last couple of years, and again, purely on a personal level - my partner has "educated" me into not being quite so feisty and independent. I used to, in my own bolshy way, let peole know that I could do everything myself, pay for everything myself and manage perfectly well alone, thank you very much! Now, whilst that's still true (as a fact), I have let him "look after" me. And the more I've allowed it (I still have to think about it, it doesn't come naturally!) the more he does it, and the more I enjoy it..... And in return, he gets a softer me, and I then feel much more like "looking after" him as a result.
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