Is there such a thing as too submissive? (45)

I had got into the habit, when in session, of doing whatever the dominatrix told me to do. I, quite literally, turned my brain off and put myself in someone else's power. This was a problem (although I did not realize it until it was too late) because I often played with strangers. They were professional dominatrixes but they were strangers nevertheless. More to the point, they were human beings. Human beings are sometimes unpredictable.

Over more than 100 hundred dominatrix sessions, my desire to totally surrender myself to a complete stranger never caused me a problem. The reason it never caused me a problem is that most professional dominatrixes are very sane, sensible, professional and caring women. However, one should not rely too much on the mathematical concept of The Proof by Induction, which states that: If some proposition holds true for condition y = x, y = x + 1, y = x + 2, et cetera up to y = x + n, where n is a suitably large number, it probably holds true for all y.

Dominatrixes are human beings. As I mentioned above, human beings can be unpredictable. Human beings are a great deal more unpredictable than the results of mathematical functions. The proof by induction does not apply in this case. In particular, if you meet 200 dominatrixes who are totally trustworthy, who have perfect empathy and understanding, this does not mean that the 201st dominatrix you meet will necessarily have these qualities.

Six years ago, while in session with a dominatrix, she instructed me to "sign a contract". The contract said I belonged to her completely and utterly: Mind, body, spirit, labour, et cetera, et cetera. Being in a state of utter submission (i.e. with my brain turned off) the only thing I noticed about the instruction was that I was unbelievably turned on by the total power exchange implied.

Later in the session, the said dominatrix pricked my thumb and put my blood on the contract. I immediately freaked out. I started to believe she must be a satanist. I then reflected on the fact that I had just signed a piece of paper giving myself totally to a person I did not know, who might, for all I knew, be extremely evil. This completely flipped me out. Subsequently I had a mental breakdown, lost my job, lost my home, lost my self-respect and almost lost my will to live.

In summary therefore, I would say that yes there is such a thing as being too submissive. Perhaps, where one has played with a person again and again, where a certain amount of trust has built up, it is OK to surrender oneself totally. In any other situation, I would suggest that it might be wise to keep a small section of one's mind on active lookout, ready to say: 'No. Stop. I do not agree to this. I withdraw my submission. This session is over; whether you like it or not. You no longer have my permission to continue, however enthusiastically I might have said "Do as you wish with me!" five, ten or 2000 seconds ago.'

For most people, they will never meet a dominatrix who would abuse their trust, in this or any other way. However, I once thought I too was exempt from any such fate. I little realized when I got to the point that disaster was just 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, zero dominatrix sessions away.

Edited 21 Feb 10, 11:01 PM by Super_Slut_321

i crave being totally 24/7 controlled

but find dominants are often - not.

and Lady Stardust sang her songs, of.....
..............Darkness and Disgrace.

They'll love to see it, if it's genuine and clearly coming from their heart, in the same way that someone submissive can't accept posturing and a statement of Dominance as sufficient if they don't feel it similarly influencing them, just as you say.

You are, extraordinarily, very naturally submissive though.

It's only a weblog

It's a bit like doing a cryptic crossword. It's no fun doing the Sun because it's too easy. But give me the Telegraph or FT, and then it becomes interesting.

The Truth About Scientology

Edited 21 Feb 10, 11:41 PM by othyim

"Fork handles?" "No, not 'fork handles' ... four candles."

Edited 11 Dec 10, 2:03 PM by Top_Class

Hmm...I must be doing something wrong then ...

Yes, Imho submission is about her leaving me with the awful dilemma of using her and leaving her feeling cherished.

Patience is bitter - but its fruit is sweet.
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