This post is on the D/s & M/s web board.
| 22 Feb 10, 10:31 PM Lj_switch UK, 3 yrs    |
I'm a switch, so my sub side contrasts with my Dom side. Recently, a Domme told me to go and stand in a corner, facing the wall. I did, with a feeling of resentment that I had been made to look silly. But actually, it worked for me (and for her too, I imagine) I needed to be put in my place, within the scene.
It is all about context. I will do the same to my lovely sub. Hopefully she will feel the same way | |
| 22 Feb 10, 11:01 PM merrynb99 UK(SL), 6 yrs |
There are times when I feel resentment about submitting, but I give in and submit and it feels right and good. There are times when I resent it and I struggle with it all the way through to the end of the process and it never feels right. And there are times when I resent it so damn much I feel absolutely incapable of submitting. I don't know if that's the switch in me, or if I really get into a head space where I subconsciously want to be absolutely broken down, fighting my submission all the way. For me though, the best times come when there is absolutely no resentment at all and I give everything of myself freely; make myself available to him when it's least expected, planned or required. I've always loved the lyrics in that Jimi Hendrix song: "when I'm sad she comes to me, with a thousand smiles she gives to me free; take anything you want from me, anything ..."
A little bad taste is like a nice dash of paprika (D. Parker) | |
| 23 Feb 10, 2:56 PM BigOldHector UK(DE), 10 yrs |
In a sort of way I can relate to the idea that someone would feel that way, but it is definitely not the way I am. If anything rather the opposite. Resentment is something I only ever feel in an entirely negative way that can only be a barrier to submission. That doesn't necessarily mean there is a problem if ever I feel my mistress being less than fair or when she requires something of me that I really don't like. It just means I have to try to see things in a more positive light - to actively seek the joy of pleasing her through self-sacrifice in a way that will completely suppress any potential feelings of resentment. I can't say I invariably succeed I'm afraid, I'm only human after all. But when I do manage to do the right thing it makes us both happy and strengthens our connection, so I am resolved to be more and more that way and hope it will soon become second nature. I AM THE GOD OF HELL-FIRE!.....but its my lunch break right now | |
| 23 Feb 10, 6:02 PM sodsta UK, 5 yrs |
I can definitely relate, and I agree, it definitely enhances my feelings of submission and my enjoyment of the dynamic. It's the same sort of feeling I get during S&M play... I get really *angry* at the pain and the fact that this person is hurting me. Furious, even... but that also enhances my enjoyment of it. Without that anger, the play wouldn't be nearly as fun or arousing for me. Froufrou - kinky hand-made tutus. | |
| 25 Feb 10, 4:33 PM saraxx UK, 7 yrs |
This thread has got me thinking.... ....do Dom/mes prefer their submissives to be struggling with their submission and at odds with themselves? Or do they prefer them to be fully accepting and at ease with their submission? I partly ask because an ex admitted that he preferred to be with women who were teeming with angst and - in his perception - needed rescuing and 'sorting out'. To be honest, he didn't really know what to do with a submissive who wasn't in perpetual struggle as he (admitted he) needed to fix the problem(s) in order to feel validated. 'A woman, without her man, is nothing. | |
| 25 Feb 10, 9:09 PM mia  UK(M), 4 yrs       |
I wouldn't say those who struggle need 'fixing', not more than any that are the roll-over-and-submit types anyway. mia, x "Passion should believe itself irresistible. It should forget civility and consideration and all the other curses of a refined nature." | |
| 25 Feb 10, 9:11 PM saraxx UK, 7 yrs |
I agree, but that is not what I was pontificating (I admit I had drifted off thread though...).
'A woman, without her man, is nothing. | |
| 2 Mar 10, 7:58 PM Taintedinnocence UK(S), 6 yrs |
I liked this post - I feel like that sometimes. Its the everyday stuff mainly. I chunter about things - but if my Master doesn't enforce boundaries, I feel disappointed.
Dominants eh? What a tough job! Although mainly I guess I'm not an angel sub, but I am a real 24/7 one. | |
| 2 Mar 10, 9:01 PM sam_lowry UK, 5 yrs |
I agree. I was staying with my Mistress the other day and had to get up early to get to work. As I was manacled over night this meant she had to get up early too. Not being morning people either of us, she was particularly grumpy and brutal early on, and I found it difficult to not be grumpy or resentful myself. But I guess that made it more real for us both- actually having a battle of wills as opposed to playing a role. That and I had to deal with losing said battle when one isn't at one's best. But later when I lay by her feet before heading off I felt closer to her because of that real experience. "Sam can't you do something about these beastly tewowists ?!" "I can't it's not my department. Anyway it's my lunch hour" |
