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| ijoinedic |
Will you please tell me a joke to cheer me up?
| 19 Feb 10, 7:52 PM Helen_Back UK(MK), 4 yrs |
A brain and a pile of poo walk into a bar and ask for a pint the bar men says, i can't serve you, your out of your head, and your mate is steaming.
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| 19 Feb 10, 7:54 PM ijoinedic UK, 2 yrs |
Ho ho. Thank you abcdefghIJOINEDIC | ||
| 19 Feb 10, 8:47 PM ijoinedic UK, 2 yrs |
Made me laugh, great work Ozymandias1
abcdefghIJOINEDIC | ||
| 19 Feb 10, 9:16 PM gingerbread UK(TW), 4 yrs |
Now the way I heard that one.... or a variation thereof.... Manners, shutup and shit were walking down the road. Shit fell over so manners stopped to help him up. Shutup ran ahead and bumped into an old lady. "Be careful young man! Whats your name" says the old lady. "Shutup" "Well really! Wheres your manners!" "Down the road picking up shit" Though I like your version better! (RAH)² (AH)³ + RO (MA + MAMA) + (GA)² + OOH(LA)² = Bad Romance | ||
| 19 Feb 10, 10:03 PM FairyGirl UK(YO), 3 yrs   |
Three men are told that if they don't give up their vices, they'll go to hell. There's an alcoholic, a smoker and a gay man. As they walk down the street, the alcoholic sees a half-empty bottle of cider on a wall. He tries to resist, but runs to it and drinks. As he does, he goes up in flames. As the other two walk along, the smoker sees a half smoked cigarette on the floor. Remembering what had happened to the other man, the gay man said - if you bend over to pick that cigarette up, we're both fucked!
"Nothing saves anyone's life, Sir. It just postpones their death." - Posner , The History Boys. | ||
| 19 Feb 10, 11:32 PM The_Businessman UK(N), 3 yrs |
A doctor had just finished a marathon sex session with one of his patients. He was resting afterwards and was feeling a bit guilty because he thought it wasn't really ethical to screw one of his patients. However, a little voice in his head said "Lots of other doctors have sex with their patients so its not like you're the first"
This made the doctor feel a little bit better until still another voice in his head said "but they probably weren't veterinarians"
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| 19 Feb 10, 11:55 PM DrMajolica UK(NR), 6 yrs  |
A girl says to her Mum, "Mummy I know how babies are made. The Daddys sticky-out thing gets hard and he puts it in Mummys mouth, and she closes her eyes, then he holds her head very tight and says "Ooh" quite loud" The mother smiles benignly at her child and says, "Oh darling, thats so sweet, but that isnt how babies are made". "Thats how Mummies get shoes and dresses and sometimes sports cars" I think too much, therefore I am a bit of a twat. |
