Bottoming... (20)

didn't mean to piss you off or anything, it appears i just misread your original post and carried on extrapolating from that, oh well, happens every now and then, didn't mean anything untoward by it!

Special Ed *WARNING do not click if you cannot take a joke or are too sensitive*
"These are the Phenomena that every pretty Domina is hoping at her Universitee we shall see"- W.S Gilbert

I'm not pissed off, I simply disagree with it. Nothing wrong with that!

"People are inherently evil, but very, very funny" - Joe Orton.

I can understand that. I rarely bottom anymore (I've never subbed, I fail at that hard) for precisely this reason. I just can't let go of the need to control my environment. I simply can't let go and find that trying to is actually more stressful than just accepting the fact that I actually need to be in charge of a situation, with everything that entails. The last time I tried I was bossing my partner around something terrible, which isn't really fair on him.

I suppose this may change at some point, as it may for the OP, but for now just go with what you have and enjoy it. If you can't fully enjoy bottoming why try, you're just wasting time that could be spent doing things you do actually enjoy. Like causing lots of hurty man pain .

One of God's own prototypes, a high powered mutant of some kind, never considered for mass production. Too weird to live, too rare to die.

Eh? Why?

I think the word 'simulacrum' is a good one to describe the experience of bottoming as I used to seek it out. Like Caspian, now I don't really bottom often at all, though that's mainly down to configuration of sexual partners. My problem is always that the urge I have to give up control (which is currently a terrible craving, for the first time in about a year) seems to apply so very rarely to other people I meet. I used to just crave pain and physical loss of control, which sometimes created that simulacrum of feeling like I had entirely placed myself in someone else's hands and at their mercy. I hadn't, though, not really. And I know, I know, we talk about the myth of authenticity, but at the same time when it comes to bottoming, simulacra don't really do it for me any more. It's gotta be the real thing: a desire to give up control to someone. Which is not easy for a domineering cow like me to do.

Doesn't mean you can't enjoy simulacra either. But that desire to lose control's either there with someone or it isn't, I guess. Doesn't mean you won't desire that ever again or that you will.

"Well-behaved women rarely make history"
http://www.backlash-uk.org.uk

Edited 16 Feb 10, 2:15 PM by verte

Having said that I find topping and bottoming far from neat equal opposites so I don't know how useful this is as evidence.

Edited 16 Feb 10, 2:15 PM by Scribbles

Like the kid in a sweetie shop, it's possibly better not to have a bit of everything on offer, but rather the best of what you really like. If I can't do EVERYTHING, I'm more than happy to focus on what I NEED rather than what I occasionally want.

This is not a limitation, just an acknowledgment of whats more important. Be true to yourself, but don't limit yourself.

Trust me this will instantly put you intouch with your sub side, as you plead for forgiveness and leniency on the pavement. And ofcourse the more you beg the less this cret. listens, uberprickdom they are. Honestly you will know the feeling of true submission. Use it

"Yeah I like Kinky stuff,dirty dark pervy stuff,weird sex.... An' Yerself ?"
I'm in a state !

Edited 16 Feb 10, 11:45 PM by pleasureswitch

I can completely understand this.

I was a rubbish sub because I could never truly relax. "Sub space" was never achieved and I always felt a bit of a failure because of that. I am very happy as a domme and I can't imagine ever bottoming to anyone again.

Thanks

Yes, there are a lot of Dom-Domme relationships around. I can see them working, as long as none of the participants need to be in a D/s relationship, always. I like an equalitarian relationship as much as I like D/s, and there is scope for power exchange (or perhaps I should call it power sharing?) in the former, as much as there is in the latter. Not being monogamous helps too, so you can always get your subs out of the cage when you need to indulge in a spot of tyranny

"People are inherently evil, but very, very funny" - Joe Orton.

Edited 18 Feb 10, 4:36 PM by Ms_Tytania

have emboldened part of your reply; interestingly also recently picked up on a couple of sub-sub relationships which must stress the monogamy criteria.

Haven't managed to winkle out of them (yet) how that functions other than maybe co-bottoming (if not being monogamous is not an option).