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| Lady_Anna_Bradford |
n.
1. The quality of being discreet; circumspection. 2. Ability or power to decide responsibly.
Discreet: a word that means everything, to both the PD and their clients, past, present and future. When a client calls a PD, or views her site he is particularly concerned about discretion. Click on any PD site and somewhere amongst all the text you will see phrases such as 'discretion assured', or 'discreet premises' or even, usually actually, 'discrete [sic] premises'. He needs to know that the neighbours don't know why he is there should he bump into them outside the PD's premises. This is understandable of course. Visiting a PD is seen as a very risqué, or, depending on what newspapers you read, a very sordid thing to do. No client wants his visits to be common knowledge in the surrounding neighbourhood. He also needs to know that the PD herself is discreet and won't blurt out to all and sundry that firstly she is a PD, and secondly he is her client.
Unfortunately, we know all too well that the occasional bad apple can really upset the applecart. I can't imagine that there are too many people involved with Professional Domination who haven't heard of the infamous Woman E http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1038659/... Her recent wedding costing £18,000 and expensive equipment meant she and her MI5 husband owed £20,000. Most of us would set about working overtime to pay that lot off, but not Mr and Mrs E, they decided to contact the News of the World and sell a story.
Woman E, known to everyone on the scene as Mistress Abi, quickly removed her website, I'm guessing to protect her privacy. Nobody imagined that she would be back setting up business as a Dominatrix ever again. Mistress Kiera http://www.mistresskiera.co.uk states on her website:
My chambers are a [sic] private and extremely discreet. I expect the same level of discretion from all clients in return.
Really Woman E/Abi/Kiera/'Michelle'? You expect all your clients to film you and sell the footage and accompanying story to the News of the World? Or do you just have the staggering audacity to expect your clients and fellow PDs to believe a word you say? Not only did this woman betray her client but she also betrayed her best friend, and the other professionals who were also dragged through the papers and the courts.
During this entire episode there was naturally some fall out. Many clients became extremely concerned about how discreet PDs actually were despite their claims, and how much their privacy was really assured. On forums there were posters who suggested that all PDs were as equally as capable as ratting on their clients. Professional Dominants, professional subs, as well as the lifestyle crowd were disgusted by Abi's actions and thus, whatever she wants to call herself today, the woman has been ostracised by the scene. We cannot tolerate such a person. Unfortunately, it appears, there some clients who seek the thrill of being dominated by such a 'celebrity' otherwise she would have had to give up PDing. It could also be because they genuinely don't know. She doesn't mention her most recent activities on her About Me page.
Privacy and confidentiality is of paramount importance in a relationship between Mistress and sub, and likewise PDs expect the same consideration in return. Discretion works both ways. A Mistress will rarely tell you her address until she knows you are definitely coming. You may not be who you say you are.
Over the years I have read a few comments on various fora by disgruntled clients about the hoops the PD expects them to jump through. Calls from this phone box maybe, another call from that phone box. We don't do it because we're being SuperDominant. We do it because we need to know you are actually in the same town, preferably in a nearby street and not at home wanking at the thought of a Mistress dressed up and waiting for you before we give you our address.
If you are in public receiving directions don't say 'Yes, Mistress'. If you are bringing flowers, put them in a big bag. Be discreet when you do approach her premises, wait for the postman to leave, wait until the neighbours close their door, and for God's sake don't turn up wearing a bloody dress. Also bear in mind that it isn't really advisable to blurt out a 'thank you, Mistress' as you stagger down the garden path. Be aware, be vigilant, and be discreet.
Also don't post session details all over the internet. Some things are best kept private. I've refused a few sessions with particular individuals because they are incredibly indiscreet about previous session details. Nobody really respects a name dropper, particularly if you are blurting out personal and private details about them. Most clients are so discreet they never reveal their current Mistress, let alone exactly what they get up to.
If you want to write a review about your Mistress do her the courtesy and show her a copy of the review before you post it on a public forum, she may ask you to remove a few details. Imagine how you would feel if Mistresses could post reviews about subs.
Fortunately, the likes of Mistress Kiera are a very rare occurrence. Most, if not all, PDs have families, friends and employers who don't know what we do and we'd like to keep it that way thanks so be assured that 99.9% of the time you are perfectly safe.
Happy sessioning.
Edited Mon 15 Feb 10, 10:18 PM by Lady_Anna_Bradford
| 11 Mar 10, 1:33 PM Mistress_Susannah UK(SE), 7 yrs £  |
Brilliant article Lady Anna. Great to relate that discretion works both ways and is an essential part of our business.
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