When you are just not in the mood... (27)

I was just wondering what folks do (sub and dom) when it comes to not feeling it. I seem to be lacking in the drive to submit at the moment...only been over the past week. Although I have done what is asked of me in this time I am struggling to do it with feeling.

I am now starting to question my submissiveness...but I want to submit I just...well...haven't the drive.

Do any of you (subs) go through this...what do you do?

Any doms out there, how do you react if your sub feels like this...the "softly softly" to reassure and encourage approach or the "do as I fucking say" approach?

Ps. I am sure there will be times when doms aren't feeling it...but this question is just regarding the senario above for now please.

Thank you x

http://minxysmusings.wordpress.com/

Some days I don't feel like getting up, some days I dont feel like putting on my make up, some days I don't feel like cooking, none of these things make me question my ability to get up, put on make up or cook they are just not feeling like it. I don't know why when it comes to our oriantation a few days or weeks of being out of it makes us wonder about who we are.

How I cope when it happens to me, if I am with someone, I tell them how I am feeling and hope they understand, if they dont then they will probably be disappointed.

As twue as words spoken under interrogation.
Souci Selfless, After I have had a fag, Controversial X (too many middle names)

How do you think it would make you feel never to be submissive again?

XxX

Told my girl we weren't going to play tonight and she admitted she wasn't in the mood either, so we snuggled and watched Supernatural.

It happens to us all. Doesn't make you less submissive, doesn't make me less Domly. It just makes us all human beings.

You know they say it's always the quiet ones you have to watch? That's me.

A far more real comment than one written on a thread recently about subs consent and their Dom using their ultimate perocative, irrespective of how their sub's feel... ( After all they did give their consent, at some time, didnt they ? )

Thank heaven we are all different and mostly human hahah

The challenge is to be yourself, in a world that is trying to make you like everyone else......

Tazallie
Getting there!

You should not feel the need to question your submissive nature ..lord do we put so much guilt on ourselves. I swear , i feel guilty , then feel guilty for feeling guilty !!

Sometimes we need to break mindset and simply enjoy being ...no rules , no rituals ..just relax and enjoy doing very little .

Equally we all go in and out of phases ...i recall many times where i had been obsessed with just sex ...then always wanting to be forced / held down., then going through medical phases... but equally many times where i just was not in the mood to play

Stresses of life , work , friend and family can cause you not to feel focussed and dedicated to the submissive nature . But I cannot stress enough that you need to communicate this with your partner / Dom.

Soon they will know you enough to understand and notice when you need a good spanking or when you just need to be held and loved...or at least a decent human being should !!

I will communicate how i feel way before we even begin the energy or scene ..." i just feel so exhausted tonight , can we please just relax ?" i will say way before anything happens.

Submission is the journey not the destination ....so rather than thinking of this is a broken path , think of it as developing a way to deal and understand those times when you just need something else from your partner / Dom .

Now i realise that many are i the full 24 / 7 never breaking the dynamic and mindset of Master and slave which is fine if you do NOT need to take a break and relax ....but what i have learnt is that even when you have your relaxing break ...the dynamic never goes ..for you 24/ 7 may be the role always without break..to others its part of who they are and the transition from everyday to scene is simple..

The other day my Dom and I were watching "frasier" complete series and just relaxing in chill clothing and doing very little except snack and hug ... but i said something naughty and SNAP ..the dynamic was there ...

Communication builds trust and communicating your needs builds respect ...if you having nothing else you have to communicate how your currently feeling ..but please dont blame yourself or doubt yourself... it is only for now , ask your Dom to help you , find a way to bring the desire back ...accept that your human and sometimes needs something else ... fck

submission is permission to be yourself without judgment

Edited 15 Feb 10, 8:39 PM by Hislilpuppy

A swift crack around the face does it for me.

Floaty light subby in no time

B x

My blog! Comments may win prizes!
"This is my word and as such, is beyond contestation" - The Black Prince, A Knights Tale.

What I am really tring to say is that IMO it depends what you are doing and with who x

Anyone for Cake?

Submissiveness and indeed dominance does ebb and flow in strength, it's perfectly normal.

Braondra

Having said that, I would not choose to be with a man who could not read my emotions.

'A woman, without her man, is nothing.
A woman: without her, man is nothing'