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Moral Dilemma (15)

Replies

15 Feb 10, 7:50 AM
ChevalierDesGrieux
UK(M), 5 yrs

LittleMissEvil wrote:
Ok sometimes information falls in to you're lap it's normally nothing of importance, a friend has done x someone else has done y. But every now and then some information presents itself to you that put's you in a tricky situation. One where you know that you should say something about it but know that in saying something could leave you open to having you're life picked over and certain things coming out that you are not overly keen about the world knowing. Not because you are ashamed of it, just that it's not something you wish to talk about publicly.

Now before anyone gets on and says anything about 'outing' someone, it's no one from here and it's got nothing to do with BDSM.

A brief outline of the information; I started talking to someone whom I thought was female, and we had several conversations on msn, and exchanged a few texts, and nothing unusual set of any alarm bells as I would say I am normally good at spotting someone whom is pretending to be something they are not.

Well we had arranged to meet as we got on well and see what happened. Then 24 hours before we were supposed to meet all communications stopped with no explanation.

Now I know that people can have emergencies happen or they can loose their phone ECT and not be able to reply. So after I had sent a few texts and got no reply the inquisitive person in me decided to do a bit of digging.

From this I found out that the person I had been talking to was not a woman, and was a person who held a position of responsibility with in the community, and was portrayed as an upstanding family man. With aspirations of furthering his career in the public sphere.

Now had this been Joe blogs who was a builder it wouldn't throw up this issue, but it's the fact that he is doing this whilst portraying a very wholesome front.

Now if you were in my position what would you do? Part of me says to go to the press with this and let them decide what they want to do, though that could allow them to reveal certain facts about me that I wouldn't be overly happy about being totally public knowledge. So what would you all do?

Why would you go to the press? We all have secrets. This person hasnt done any harm to you except maybe waste your time. Havent you done things you dont wont the world at large to know?

15 Feb 10, 7:59 AM
TheScorpionQueen
UK(CH), 5 yrs

If he knows that you know that should be enough to make him twitch ... he is a family man & the press could turn enough around on you to make you look as bad as him, neither he or the press can be trusted ... walk away with the simple knowledge that he knows that you know he is a player.

..... Merda taurorum animas conturbit >v<

15 Feb 10, 9:53 AM
rubesque
UK, 4 yrs

You can't out him just because you feel let down! Loads of people on various sites/ chatrooms etc have turned out to be not what they really are, but what harm has he done to you? You have nothing to gain and a shit load to lose.

Outing is outing and I personally don't agree with it, cut your loses and maintain your dignity.

He looked into My eyes, and I almost died. Then I remembered what I was and half killed him.

15 Feb 10, 10:56 AM
MsNemi
UK, 4 yrs

Walk away. The arguments against outing have already been gone through so there's no need to repeat them, but you also need to think of yourself and your own position.

There are elements of the press that have a nasty habit of biting the hand that feeds them, you go to the press with a story like this and I can guarantee you will find your own life under a very public microscope. Possibly not by the first paper you approach, although it has been known, but should a rival publication take an interest in the story they will be actively looking for new angles and looking at you will be the obvious place to start.

One of God's own prototypes, a high powered mutant of some kind, never considered for mass production. Too weird to live, too rare to die.

Edited 15 Feb 10, 10:57 AM by MsNemi

15 Feb 10, 6:38 PM
MysTeri

UK(B), 3 yrs

Absolutely not, you may well feel a bit slighted, but this guys got his rocks off by leading you on, pretending to be female online is a step removed from TVs on scene (he's not brave enough for that, but it's still his fetish. It's just that it got a bit close for comfort and he could not really meet you.)

His kink has nothing to do with his public standing, it's not for you to judge. Scene people will hold you in low esteem if you are not to be trusted and outing this guy blows trust whether he invested trust in you or not (he didn't have to as he didn't think you'd stalk him (seeking him out is doing that), best to let it lie. It takes a long time to be accepted on here. Don't blow it for this idiot.

Examine your motives, it's just that you're irritated that you invested time in him/her. Well, babe, we've all done that and theres quite a few (I)we could 'out' if we were of that nature, as they've let us down in one way or another, but to be part of this community you take the good with the bad and move on. Trying to learn from it. Put him in the 'wankers' box and kick him into touch.

Karma is the way to look at it. Best left.

I always agree with sleep on it, then sleep on it some more, and after a coupla weeks you won't be smarting, still irritated but more relaxed.

Edited 15 Feb 10, 6:42 PM by MysTeri