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keeping emotional involvement under control (54)

This post is on the D/s & M/s web board.

28 Feb 10, 12:19 PM
deviantkitty
2 yrs

BoundDolly wrote:

mis_chief wrote:
You can't control it. It just happens. If you get too involved you will get hurt sooner or later and if you don't get involved emotionally you will get bored sooner or later.

Absolutely correct.

I agree with this one. And boy does it hurt x

28 Feb 10, 1:42 PM
irishjoe
IE, 6 yrs

@TheMarquise what a brilliant post. Insightful, informative and very interesting...as always. Recently had a play partner call and end it cause she felt she was getting too close to me. Knows I want more from the relationship i thought she did too but guess i was wrong. Be careful out there, it hurts when it happens but i'm sure when you find s.o. that you can relate to on an emotional, physical vanilla and bdsm way then there will be no feeling like it in the world. I thought this was it...I was wrong.

28 Feb 10, 2:04 PM
CommanderBondage
3 yrs

Life is a constant battle.

Survival requires, cunning, strategy and management.

It isn't an option not to live or love.

Evaluate the risk.

Keep enough emotion locked up in a box for emergency.

Stash away some emergency rations.

Keep good lines of communication open

Stay in control.

Remember to keep the key to your heart somewhere safe.

Do regular love flow forecasts.

Build a good fall out shelter.

If all else fails, run like hell!

The Commander.

From Alfred Lord Tennyson's poem In Memoriam:27, 1850:

I hold it true, whate'er befall; I feel it, when I sorrow most; 'Tis better to have loved and lost Than never to have loved at all.

Edited 28 Feb 10, 2:12 PM by CommanderBondage

28 Feb 10, 4:59 PM
Stillyet
UK(DG), 2 yrs

littlenic wrote:
If I've learnt one thing, it's that I don't really have an awful lot of power to stop myself getting emotionally involved. A few times now things that were meant to be more 'casual' have developed into something a lot more powerful than that, and I have some extraordinarily great memories to show for it. I'm sure it'll happen again at some point in the future - although sometimes it remains lower-key too.

But where I *do* have power is how I act even when experiencing those emotions. It's great letting myself get involved and experiencing all those highs - and lows; but when I am involved with people for whom I am not their primary partner, or when I am involved with someone who doesn't feel the same way as me, I feel that I owe it both to myself and to them to act in a dignified and responsible way when it comes to reining it in. If I ever thought I'd made life difficult or awkward for the people in those situations I'd be mortified.

So the rollercoaster is great - but for me at least, it's important to make sure I don't drag anyone else reluctantly along for the ride.

Well, you know, I don't know whether I can avoid getting emotionally involved, but I'm damn sure I don't want to avoid it. People interest me; the more I know someone, the harder it is not to care about them, to hurt when they hurt. I wouldn't want to avoid that: life is that experience of highs and lows.

Yes, the lows are tough to go through. But frankly I can see little point in living unless you live to the full.

;; Semper in faecibus sumus, sole profundum variat.
Some of my stories are here. Others are here.