(deleted) (19)

Thank you

P

Meeting a domme is not difficult, partake in the right websites (those with mostly genuine people, from your area), have conversations, arrange meetings and attend fetish events which dommes frequent and you will meet dommes. If you wish to have a relationship with a domme that's an entirely different matter.

Contrary to what many domme's profiles may at a first glance have you believe, her primary objective is not to meet a sub, but more importantly someone she likes and will get along with.

Therefore when approaching a domme, whether on the net or in RL your primary concern should not be to sell yourself to her as a sub, there's no need, she already knows she wants a sub. Nor do you have to espouse what you will do for her, again no need as she already knows what she would want from you and expects that you will do whatever she wishes to please her if she were to enter into a relationship with you.

So gentlemen, bearing in mind what the Marquise has written as behavioural traits to avoid, your plan of action is to firstly meet or at least open lines of communication between yourself and a domme, and then more importantly show her what a nice, honest, happy to please, easy to get along with person you are in RL.

Once you've entered into a relationship on that basis and you're making her happy in other ways, you may find that as she realises you are just what she was looking for she may be even be willing to consider pandering a little to your own sexual proclivities, particularly if they're compatible with her own.

So the next time you're about to write that introductory memo, please don't copy and paste that "Dear Mistress I'd love to be your slave while you whip me in your thigh boots" line..

Sadly I suspect Marquise, you haven't received the last of those..

Thank you for writing this Blog.

xXAXx

~~If you don't like me it's your fault~~

Edited 12 Feb 10, 7:39 AM by Mistress_Amethyst

What is a Caracal?
The nice lady with the whip.

Edited 12 Feb 10, 7:58 AM by Caracal

There is nothing so wearisome than someone viewing you as an object, a coin operated dispenser for their fantasies, rather than a human being.

I know that I myself have gone through times where the thought of meeting 'male submissives' through websites, on dates, at munches etc has filled with with such ennui and frustration that I have avoided doing so for months.

When I decide on meeting someone/liking someone, what they can 'do' for me is the last thing on my mind - I just want to get to know them as a person.

The frustration and ennui comes from patently discovering that they are incapable of extending me the same consideration I show them.

A conversation with a domme is not a step towards being tied up in her bed, its just a conversation. With a person. A real one at that. Sadly, so many submissive men I've met have a ticklist in their heads, if you're good on paper, you 'll do.

I often wonder if this lack of basic human understanding comes from an upbringing in an immediate gratification capitalist culture - I am submissive therefore I can/must have a domme. Because I've earned it by knowing I'm a sub.

Perverted Pederast Puppetmistress Pimp Pandering to the Patriarchy... apparently

May I also add that these people (and this could have something to do with Theda's culture of instant gratification), when they contact me online, they expect me to fall head over heals over them, there, then, instantly.

No sensible, balanced person goes potty for an online presence, let alone a first introductory memo, no matter how articulate, and eloquent it may be. It's just an introduction.

I've forgotten the times I've told people that I can't reelly to judge them after looking at their profile and reading their memos pnly, but that I'd be very happy to meet them at a munch and say hi, to meet the real person and see how it goes.

Their reaction: What??? I'm only significant enough, that is, no significant at all, to meet you at the same level as all the other plebs in a munch? Sorry love, I thought you were special. You never hear from them again. Oh well! My guess is that they have thins fantasy involving bowling you over after just an initial online contact. Sorry gentlemen, but it takes much more than that, and I'll always reserve my final opinion till we meet face to face.

Face to face! As if! But some do take the plunge, and curioser things have happened than attracting "A Domme."

"People are inherently evil, but very, very funny" - Joe Orton.

But, but, but.. I have text and a photo on my profile.. Why are you not all fighting over me..

What surprises me is how they cannot detach themselves from this fantasy but extend it into real life and what they see as worship veers more towards objectification.

The above is purely my observation based on posts and memos sent to my my partners and occasional r/l conversations.

You do seem to give people the benefit of the doubt and have a high tolerance level / degree of patience.

Wow! You must be in love with me, because you didn't point out at my typo, "heals", instead of "heels"

"People are inherently evil, but very, very funny" - Joe Orton.