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| Purrverse |
In light of the newest Kinky Salon thread, which I didn't even see til today, I have written to MissP the following:
"I don't know why you're continuing to attack me about Kinky Salon. You're not interested in attending. You've had my apology, publicly, and my explanation for the photo rule- you might not like it, but it's pretty common at swingers events that other members of Kinky Salon have gone to. I'm from SF, I don't know what's usual here in London for things like private events that are advertised publicly, so I have to trust the people I have working with me to say whether or not these policies make sense. We do have what we need legally to throw this event. You have attacked me personally over and over and are refusing to let this go. I have been driven to distraction and tears over this. I have attempted to say what I can about what happened. We've changed the policies, and even invited people personally who were over 35 and seemed interested in attending.
You don't really know me, so I can't expect you to know anything about what sort of person I am. People who do know me I think would agree that while I can be rash and occasionally remarkably stupid in things I say, I am a nice person who really wants to create an inclusive environment. I have dear friends of all ages who fit all sorts of definitions of attractiveness.
I have not attacked you personally throughout this. I would really appreciate it if you would take your rage to ME, in memo, instead of posting late night threads in the Birmingham board. You don't approve of this event at all- fair deuce. You haven't accepted or even acknowledged my apology for my impulsive post in the first place. But attacking me, over and over, is really not ok.
I imagine we will cross paths in real life. I will conduct myself like an adult, and be polite. I ask that you do the same."
ETA: My experience of London events have mostly been fetish events. I bring up the swingers thing because their events tend to be private, which is what we're trying to do with KS. I want a space that has room for both. Kinky Salon is absolutely open to people who are interested in engaging in kink in the playful environment we're creating. The name "Kinky Salon" is one used in San Francisco for a similar party- one that is less kinky, in practice, than what I want, actually! The "Salon" bit comes about in the participatory artistic/creative experiences we're developing to have, along with a 30 min cabaret we split up the night with, as options for people who might like the idea but aren't into kink/sex in public. Again, not everyone's cup of tea, but I'm following a format.
I find it sad that Admin has felt no need to close down or move a thread that is placed in an inappropriate board, that is a personal attack. But I suppose that's what IC is all about, innit?
You've WON, MissP.
(blog edited to allow replies, which will be filtered to prevent another flamewar.)
Edited Thu 11 Feb 10, 8:59 AM by Purrverse
| 11 Feb 10, 9:44 AM Relaxed_and_Chaotic UK(SE), 3 yrs  |
Not entirely certain your post helps either side...but hey what do i know. However, in future i think perhaps it would be better if events which are obviously private and for whatever reason, vetted affairs, are not advertised in the same way a public event would be. That way, no one and that includes me, can get on their high horses and whinge and moan...! Just my opinion... gabrielle x "There is no such thing as liberty. You only change one sort of domination for another. All we can do is to choose our master." D. H. Lawrence | |||
| 11 Feb 10, 10:04 AM Purrverse US, 7 yrs |
I am honestly concerned if I didn't post *exactly* what I said to her, she would be able to warp my words and keep this carrying on.
That was definitely a mistake on my part- it was suggested we advertise on IC, something that, believe me, I regret! I should've just memoed individuals, and will in the future, personally. "I can't tell if you're playing some kind of feminazi mind fuck game on me or if you're trying to seduce me." -Sex and Death 101 | |||
| 11 Feb 10, 10:27 AM OllieVW 3 yrs |
I think IC is the perfect place to advertise your event there are lots of OPEN MINDED people on here. Suggestion: Start your own GROUP that way anybody on IC who IS interested will still have the opportunity to get the information they need. You dont have to worry so much about the content i mean theres photo groups, ultraviolent, smoking groups so a KINKY SALAON group would be ideal. Dont allow posts on threads unless people are in the network which ultimately has to be screened by you. The main board is open to scrutiny from all so this means will ensure privacy and the only people subscribing are genuinely interested.
Were not all old fuddy duddies
Chin up Hit me with your rhythm stick.
Hit me! Hit me!
Je t'adore, ich liebe dich,
Hit me! hit me! hit me!
Hit me with your rhythm stick.
Hit me slowly, hit me quick.
Hit me! Hit me! Hit me! | |||
| 11 Feb 10, 10:41 AM MissP UK(EN), 8 yrs |
Oh woe is you! Years ago – I can't remember how long now, I went on my first SM Pride march, led by Ishmael. I walked through the centre of London, in a corset and high heels, pushing my friend in her wheelchair. We got jeered at, clapped, photographed et al. I was fighting for OUR right to party – you included. I didn't ask for your age, or a picture of you, to ensure you were attractive enough, it was all-encompassing, which is how it should be. When I was part of the Kinkfest crew, we didn't ask for ages or face pix. When I donated money to CAAN and Backlash, I didn't ask for ages or face pix, and nor did they. They were fighting for your rights too. When I donate money to IC, which you are quick to use for free PR, but equally as quick to criticise when the crowd doesn't go your way, we don't ask for ages or face pix. It's called equality and being non-discriminatory. We kinda like it like that thanks. I have not made a SINGLE personal attack on you. I have criticised (along with many others) KS's blatantly ageist policy, which has now been reworded. I have also questioned the dire policy of requiring a face pic on application for membership. I will quote somebody else on this:
I have met you once, at the last Pedestal, and found you to be perfectly charming. That doesn't mean I'll suddenly forget the type of event you were originally trying to promote, and how you went about it, and in the instance of the pix, still are. Because years ago, when you were still at school, I was out there, fighting for your rights to even post on a forum such as this, and to have our sexualities and practices accepted, and all the other things that go alongside it. Don't like it because it doesn't suit your event? Tough. However, the issue that you've been attacked over and over personally is complete rubbish. The event, and it's discriminatory policies have. I have absolutely no issue with sex events, we got to several sex clubs, so no real idea why you keep bringing it up. Admin didn't close or move the thread, because it clearly wasn't a personal attack, it was a criticism of unethical practices. The late night thread was due to my running my own event (me bad!) where everyone was in agreement with regards to your event policies. We didn't like them. I haven't "won" as you put it. On one issue, doing the right thing won. If I was a catalyst, I'm glad. Good luck with your event. | |||
| 11 Feb 10, 10:50 AM CookieMonster UK, 6 yrs |
do you admit cookie monsters at KS? | |||
| 11 Feb 10, 10:57 AM Purrverse US, 7 yrs |
Yep! "I can't tell if you're playing some kind of feminazi mind fuck game on me or if you're trying to seduce me." -Sex and Death 101 | |||
| 11 Feb 10, 11:04 AM x_Thunder_x UK(E), 9 yrs    |
Even with that face pic? ^Thunder^ | |||
| 11 Feb 10, 11:06 AM Purrverse US, 7 yrs |
Actually, for the next theme, seems pretty appropriate :P ETA: wouldn't want to be called a muppetist, after all! "I can't tell if you're playing some kind of feminazi mind fuck game on me or if you're trying to seduce me." -Sex and Death 101 Edited 11 Feb 10, 11:08 AM by Purrverse | |||
| 11 Feb 10, 11:58 AM Sinmara UK(N), 6 yrs |
Kitty, you know you have my backing - I wouldn't bother to be upset or reply. It's not worth it! Good idea about setting up a group though! ------ I'd rather be poor and creative than rich and boring (Patrick Wolf) | |||
| 11 Feb 10, 1:57 PM OllieVW 3 yrs |
I have my moments Hit me with your rhythm stick.
Hit me! Hit me!
Je t'adore, ich liebe dich,
Hit me! hit me! hit me!
Hit me with your rhythm stick.
Hit me slowly, hit me quick.
Hit me! Hit me! Hit me! |
