This post is on the Other BDSM web board.
| 10 Feb 10, 10:47 PM misfit UK, 3 yrs  |
Indeed I have fallen foul of this too after getting carried away shouted "pull my hair, spit in my face" and forgetting I am with a new partner until I hear the sound of the door closing M Space travels in my blood. And there ain't nothing I can do about it. | |
| 10 Feb 10, 10:48 PM ClassAct2005 UK(N), 7 yrs |
I read on your profile about being bad too. you're not bad at all. You're just normal for someone dominant and what submissive women want. Don't need to rein yourself in at all if you find someone sub in the first place and face slapoing is sexy and for me it's symbolic. I certainly would want and never had anyone doing it hard but the thought of it and principle behind it is sexy. | |
| 10 Feb 10, 11:03 PM jules9 UK(CH), 3 yrs     |
A few thoughts. Rather than trying to convert vanillas, perhaps you could consider attending your local munches/clubs and seeing if you can meet a woman who is already aware of her kinky and submissive needs? If you are determined to convert a vanilla, then yes take it slowly, but don't forget to talk about it. If your first kiss involves you pinning her hands over her head as you kiss her, then ask her about it afterwards. Tell her how it makes you feel. If she asks questions, then be open and honest. The whole point is it's about making sure she is aware of what she's consenting to. For what it's worth, it says a lot about you that you have came back to the thread and taken on the points of people. Here's hoping you find someone for fabulous play soon! XxX | |
| 10 Feb 10, 11:24 PM misfit UK, 3 yrs |
But one can not help who we fall for M Space travels in my blood. And there ain't nothing I can do about it. | |
| 10 Feb 10, 11:37 PM inappropriate  UK(CF), 3 yrs |
Definitely seconded. If you want kinky sex, why not try to find someone who you know will like it? It's surely much easier than looking for a girl, deciding you like her, dating, sex, kinky sex, possible disappointment on both sides. You'll find people really are friendly and, whilst it may take a while as long as you're polite and friendly, you will make friends on the scene who will know other kinky people, who know other kinky people... Finally, a lot of people are unhappy with face slapping, it's definitely something you should ask about first. Best of luck. Come to the Cardiff fish and chips munch | |
| 10 Feb 10, 11:49 PM yoda_dog UK(HP), 6 yrs |
True, but we can control our actions. Face slapping to quite a few subs is either a hard limit or something they would only consider in a long term relationship. That's those who enjoy a D/s relationship. To presume that an apparently vanilla person would enjoy it is, quite frankly, foolish. From a personal point of view, someone slapping my face (even lightly) would be a no no on a first sexual encounter. To most 'vanilla' women I know, it would be a total deal breaker (compared with hair pulling and pinning down).
"Bottom line: it's couples who are truly right for each other wade through the same crap as everybody else, but the big difference is they don't let it take them down. One of those two people will stand up and fight for that relationship every time." | |
| 11 Feb 10, 12:17 AM kayak1 UK(PA), 4 yrs |
Can understand how you might in certain circumstances with the right person at the right time try to push some buttons but get a grip  I think you got off very lightly at least she stayed then talked about it. An alternative ending could have been screaming, accusations police involved. Thread after thread the same core rules come up communication, informed consent, trust think you forgot all that and just tried your luck !
Personally I feel sorry for the woman involved | |
| 11 Feb 10, 8:44 AM Be_Silent UK, 6 yrs |
Yeah, I fully take on the being foolish comments. I suppose I just lost perspective on the significance of face slapping. I've got in to the habit that at the height of passion it's natural for me to do that. It's light so there's no pain or even discomfort and it's usually well received in context but it's clearly not first date material. I got carried away and I'll stop that. Thing is I think I'm on the mild side of kinky (or maybe I've misjudged this?). I think my desires should be able to fit seamlessly in to most relationships without being anything special.
I'm open to meeting someone on the scene but I'm a bit out of place as a basically vanilla guy who likes a bit of rough sex at the height of passion. I suppose just meeting people in other places - nightclubs, online dating - is less effort and it generally works ok. Hmmm, anyway thanks guys! Good to chew this over. Definitely learned I need to modify my behaviour.
| |
| 11 Feb 10, 8:55 AM venus_flames UK(WR), 5 yrs £ |
All I can say that the scenario sounds rather horny to me, but then it would being a single sub lol http://burlesquetassels.com All hand crafted and custom made. | |
| 11 Feb 10, 1:37 PM Mad_Monk UK(BH), 4 yrs |
Patience is a virtue! After the first six months of beatings and confinement in the cellar, 'Stockholm Syndrome' kicks in and she comes to love you... "He took a single sip of her pain and found it exquisite" Edited 11 Feb 10, 1:38 PM by Mad_Monk |
As an introduction to this stuff you could have done better eh 