Purrverse's profile . Purrverse's homepage
 |
| Purrverse |
Oh wow. So, 2 1/2 years ago, I posted this on my blog about under 35 munches- http://www.informedconsent.co.uk/posts/149930/
Obviously this whole age thing has been a big subject I've been rolling around in my mind for the past few days. I've chatted to my ex boyfriend, who's 42, along with friends who are 23, 24. I've discussed it with my friends in San Francisco, most of whom are mid thirties to mid forties, and my friends here, who are mostly under 40.
I've realized that a big difference between my experiences in San Francisco and my experiences in London is that kink gets taken seriously to a different level. I've encountered far more of the "but kink is done THIS WAY" attitude here than I have in SF or Boston. And in my experience, a lot of that has come from people over 40. I imagine that's why when the under/over 35 thing was proposed I shrugged and said "yeah, sure"- based on my experiences, which is just one part of a whole range of experiences, it seemed like it might make sense. The people I know and/or have seen play under 40 seem to have more of a sense of playfulness and silliness that I wanted to attract. However, as people said, there are people under 40 who aren't like that, and people over 40 who are, and therefore it's better to suss that understanding of the ethos privately.
It comes into a discussion I think about a lot- is it ever completely possible to step outside of your biases formed from your experiences? I'm slightly more wary of a man walking on the street behind me in the dark than I am a woman- is that sexist? Probably, yes. Is it understandable to have that bias? Arguable.
I've also noticed a lot more segregation of the kink community and the sex community than we have in SF, where it's all muddled up. The fact it was even suggested that having things like a ball pit and games must make it an ageplay party totally underlines my feeling that the concept isn't being put across- it's more Shortbus than school bus. Again, in my experience, it's been younger swinger-y types who don't mind mixing a bit of kink and male bisexuality in with their sex, and younger kinksters who don't mind a little of silliness with their kink. Again, not across the board, but in my experience generally at things like Subversion, Crimson, and TG. Of course there are exceptions!
There's been another thing I've been thinking about a lot too, which is the difference between someone as a person and their behaviour. I try very hard to remember that what annoys me is someone's behaviour, not them as a person. After the personal comments I've received on the boards, it's been a good lesson in not taking things personally, the last couple days. I've not been very good at maintaining objectivity.
I've definitely pissed some people off. I recognize that, and I apologize- I'm not always great at rereading what I've said for impact, and I can completely lack tact. However, I also definitely got interest in this event, so I think I'm not completely off the mark when I say I think this playful, costumey energy is something people would like here. I'm hoping it works out so we can continue to grow and develop as an event. I imagine it will.
I originally decided it's better to not bother letting people comment on this blog. I think if you want to talk to me about it further, talk to ME, not on an internet board. But instead I'll filter comments. I'm not interested in continuing the Toybox thread on my blog.
Edited Wed 10 Feb 10, 7:16 PM by Purrverse
