Your submissive doing recreational drugs... (92)

I am ok when he does it with just me, in a setting controlled by me, yet I suppose I subconsciously feel that when he does drugs with others around, he changes (no matter how much he claims he doesn't), and I think I feel I lose any sort of hold of him, and perhaps that he cannot give me the kind of attention that I need (even though I don't require any superhuman amount of attention)...This I exaggerate in my subconscious mind, I am sure, but my hatred toward it is soooooo unreasonably strong, and quite irrational (I try to pretend it is not there, but end up grumpy all evening) that I am now pretty sure it has something to do with my Dominant nature...

Has anyone else experienced this, or am I just a bit of a freak?

Hit me with your rhythm stick. Hit me! Hit me! Je t'adore, ich liebe dich, Hit me! hit me! hit me! Hit me with your rhythm stick. Hit me slowly, hit me quick. Hit me! Hit me! Hit me!
Ian Dury & the Blockheads

As long as he is not abusing I do not see a problem but then I would say that, wouldn't I?

M

Space travels in my blood. And there ain't nothing I can do about it.
I know I'm being used, that's okay cause I like the abuse.
I can resist everything except temptation.
It's always funny until someone gets hurt and then it's just hilarious.
Cake or Death?
She'll tie a noose with your heartstrings

Yup, irrational, grumpy behaviour certainly does sound like it could be a dominant thing to me

Actually it just sounds to me like you are sulking and therefore not actually in control of the situation..... how does his behaviour change when he is taking the drugs with his friends... do you get jealous?

~* Raku wa ku no tané; ku wa raku no tané. *~

All I know is, that my experience so far in the lifestyle has been such that the highs have been so extreme and addictive that they have way outweighed any need for any drugs.

Indeed, the adrenaline rush has been a drug in itself.. The withdrawal / come down, equally as tough..

I would rather feel alive and high on real pleasure than a fuzzy false high.... I know my partner would want the same..

The challenge is to be yourself, in a world that is trying to make you like everyone else......

I completely see where you're coming from. I'm not anti drugs but on the other hand I wouldn't take drugs and don't plan to either. It's not even that I'm against the raw material in theory, it's just that I'd never try a drug in practice because it's probably a potentially dangerous mix of anything but cocaine or whatever and that's the issue I take with it: the unpredictability of how dangerous it could be.

So based on the above, I can see why it's a worry to you. You care about the person and thus your worries are justified.

If there was something about my lifestyle that the boss wanted me to stop, even if it was really hard to go cold turkey, I would at least try to stop.

It's nice to be important, but it's more important to be nice xx

Unless you feel that if challenged over the issue he may choose the friends and the drugs over you.

S.x.

You cannot shake hands with a clenched fist. Indira Gandhi

To agree and accept that stance shows how little control you have!

Seems to me you would have total control in preventing it and using your dominant creativness to give him the high he/she craves.

Maybe it says more about yourself as a Domme than him as a sub....

No offence meant....

The challenge is to be yourself, in a world that is trying to make you like everyone else......

I think it just makes me feel completely left out somehow, it is not a conscious feeling, it just kicks in. Maybe I am jealous of not being the one giving him a high, maybe I am upset that that high might be a better high than I can give him, maybe I am upset that during that high he perceives me differently, maybe I am upset that he feels something his friends feel, and can bond with them in a way he can't with me, because I don't do the same drugs as he does...

I know some vanilla partners struggle with this, so I just guessed that the exaggerated feelings I feel come from me being even more insufferable: A Domme.

Edited 10 Feb 10, 12:22 AM by Mona_Demarkov

I think this is the key. I think you are right g/f's who do not engage in the same activity can be stifling I am sorry to say, and you are right g/f who try and lay down the law only lead to covert activity. I should know as this is all very familiar territory for me.

Unfortunately I can not say anything to make it easier except to try and be understanding as it is obviously important at this stage in his life, but remember what is important now may not be in the future.

M

Space travels in my blood. And there ain't nothing I can do about it.
I know I'm being used, that's okay cause I like the abuse.
I can resist everything except temptation.
It's always funny until someone gets hurt and then it's just hilarious.
Cake or Death?
She'll tie a noose with your heartstrings