Calculating Punishment (10)

Do you have a system? Do you consider what your partner/playmate etc.. dislikes or do you focus on what YOU like or both? Does the severity meet the crime, a sliding scale sort of thing, or is punishment punishment? Have you made previous agreements to act as a deterent and boundaries? or is that to calculated? Do you take into consideration the lifestyle choices of your partner i.e. submissive/masochistic/pet etc.? Does your style of punishment take the form of physical or phsycological?

Im sure we all look at punishmnet in different ways, some as a necessity some as an integral part of their relationship.

In a strange way i like punishmnet it works for me, not the actual act but the reasson behind it if that makes sense?

If im not punished (and normaly physicaly) i tend to think "ahh no big deal" where as if i am punished, one the act certainly hits home and then the guilt, the feeling that ive upset or let down Lima and myself ensures that the likelyhood of the act being repeated is slim.

Hit me with your rhythm stick. Hit me! Hit me! Je t'adore, ich liebe dich, Hit me! hit me! hit me! Hit me with your rhythm stick. Hit me slowly, hit me quick. Hit me! Hit me! Hit me!
Ian Dury & the Blockheads

I have rules. They're rules we agreed on and they're rules that have stayed around a lot longer than they were originally intended to. But they come with the knowledge that if I breach them then I can expect some form of punishment to follow.

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How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world. - Anne Frank

Interesting ive another thread running around in my head that relates to part of what you said but ill leave that for now.

Was there a reason Rhoobarb that you both made an agreement, was it just easier or was the planning an integral part. Does the "knowing what will happen" act as a deterent? x

Hit me with your rhythm stick. Hit me! Hit me! Je t'adore, ich liebe dich, Hit me! hit me! hit me! Hit me with your rhythm stick. Hit me slowly, hit me quick. Hit me! Hit me! Hit me!
Ian Dury & the Blockheads

Hi bbound,

This is exactly what my thread was hoping for so thanks for taking the time to share your process.

Can i ask do you spend time afterwards to discuss whats happened i.e. reasons the punishment took place or is this obvious to you before the punishment.

Hit me with your rhythm stick. Hit me! Hit me! Je t'adore, ich liebe dich, Hit me! hit me! hit me! Hit me with your rhythm stick. Hit me slowly, hit me quick. Hit me! Hit me! Hit me!
Ian Dury & the Blockheads

I just want to see genuine contrition, which sometimes takes tears and sometimes not.

Perhaps paradoxically, this can mean she gets more of a thwacking where she thinks there has been some justification for her actions or where the offence is trivial than if she has done something awfulz.

In the latter circumstances she is lilkely to be so upset by her actions that contrition comes forth almost immediately: Something trivial may take more effort

Patience is bitter - but its fruit is sweet.
Follow me on twitter: @belasarius99

Glad you posted on this Belasarius.

An interesting insight.

This is similar to what works for me. Not knowing what form or intensity is going to be used creates the fear factor that sticks with me from early childhood and throughout my life, it worked then and does now.

Do you communicate Belasarius with your partner why you feel the punishment was necessary? i ask this as others have a structured form i.e. written down and both parties i assume are aware. You dont so how does your partner know if they are in the right or wrong? do they have a say? or do they just take that you are right?

Hit me with your rhythm stick. Hit me! Hit me! Je t'adore, ich liebe dich, Hit me! hit me! hit me! Hit me with your rhythm stick. Hit me slowly, hit me quick. Hit me! Hit me! Hit me!
Ian Dury & the Blockheads

Punishment is infrequent because she wants to stay within the rules as much as I expect her to.

However, if she fails out of sight she usually (how would I know otherwise? ) confesses it and offers up her bum.

If the failure is one of poor temper then we usually agree to administer a stinging admonishment once the difficulty has been resolved (unless I use a spanking as dispute resolution - occasionally necessary).

Cheek that has become unfunny just gets an instant slap.

A really big and genuinely avoidable failure would be unlikely to attract corporal punishment. That would be too lenient on both of us. Time apart might be necessary - or the temporary removal of a privilege.

Am I always right. Of course not! And we discuss much to agree how we should both behave. But, once something is agreed, it is a useful convention that I am always right.

Patience is bitter - but its fruit is sweet.
Follow me on twitter: @belasarius99

Edited 8 Feb 10, 9:40 PM by Belasarius

I am either made to kneel before my wife, or am tied up, while she judges the failures and writes on the sheet. If I am punished over a kneeling stool, she places the list below my head, so I can see what I am being punished for and what I am receiving. If over the bed (me lying face down makes it easier for her), she will read out what I am getting and for what failure. This way, I am made aware of all the failures and the punishment she deems appropriate. There's no discussion about the amounts - nor does she seek my input. It is her punishment for what I save done wrong, simple as. Funnily enough, we have never yet discussed the punishment afterwards - as I said, the slate is cleared and we start again. Sometimes I am made to stand in a corner for a while, sometimes she has just walked out and left me, sometimes it's back into bondage - I've also been made to wank on my knees in front of her, for her amusement. Never know what's gonna happen.

Appreciate you posting

Hit me with your rhythm stick. Hit me! Hit me! Je t'adore, ich liebe dich, Hit me! hit me! hit me! Hit me with your rhythm stick. Hit me slowly, hit me quick. Hit me! Hit me! Hit me!
Ian Dury & the Blockheads

Thanks bbound

Hit me with your rhythm stick. Hit me! Hit me! Je t'adore, ich liebe dich, Hit me! hit me! hit me! Hit me with your rhythm stick. Hit me slowly, hit me quick. Hit me! Hit me! Hit me!
Ian Dury & the Blockheads