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Anxiety (16)

This post is on the D/s & M/s web board.

7 Feb 10, 11:52 PM
Caracal
UK(SS), 5 yrs



I have a fear of having anything around my throat and have been known to totally flip when I've been restricted in some way. Gradually though, with someone I trust, the barriers went down and I have been to some quite extreme levels since those early days when I went into 'get me out of this NOW' panic.

It is all about communication, trust and taking it very very slowly.

What is a Caracal?
The nice lady with the whip.

7 Feb 10, 11:56 PM
TheKey
UK(N), 4 yrs
MrVice wrote:
I've had various anxiety difficulties over the years and I've never had any problems in BDSM; in fact quite the contrary that I feel an extreme deep relaxation though this was in a group I knew and trusted well.

The few times I've bottomed I did wonder as well what the effect would be, but at least in my case anxiety was not a problem and again, quite to the contrary, I felt an extreme deep relaxation.

Make sure your top is aware of your anxiety, and they should act accordingly; I'd also suggest they make extra effort in aftercare.

Vx

On the contrary, my anxiety flares up in a lot of BDSM situations these days (mostly public or scene situations), even with people I trust around me. I think it totally depends on the person and no one can tell you how you'll react except yourself.

Check out @The_Art_Forum

7 Feb 10, 11:58 PM
epona74
UK(SL), 7 yrs
Generally, I'd say it depends on what your anxiety triggers are. If they're fairly general, or have specific triggers that BDSM might trigger, then yes, you need to be extra careful.

On the other hand, no one, regardless of whether they have anxiety or not, should go faster than they're comfortable with.

Generally, without knowing your particular situation, I'd say ensure you communicate, be aware of your own reactions and responses, and ensure that your partner knows what is likely to set you off.

Take things at your own speed, and make sure you're completely comfortable with the level of play offered, and that your partner understands that going beyond the agreed level may have negative results.

And more than anything, HAVE FUN!

Two roads diverged in a wood and I, I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference. (R. Frost)
Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new (A. Einstein)
To be wronged is nothing unless you continue to remember it. ~Confucius

8 Feb 10, 12:07 AM
BarbieSlutLoki
UK(E), 6 yrs
Anxiety though is something we all get, after all we're only human and anxiety around strangers is pretty normal really

I've always had severe mood swings, perversely being on the scene and having outlets to be myself seems to quell that anxiety after a while

The first rule of Brat Club, we don't talk about Brat Club...

Edited 8 Feb 10, 12:08 AM by BarbieSlutLoki

8 Feb 10, 9:09 AM
MrVice
UK(SW), 4 yrs
I almost forgot to mention, I've tried many different things over the years since I was 16 trying to learn how to deal with anxiety, but none were even close to how effective Cognitive Behavioral Therapy was:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cognitive_behaviora...

While I'm not going to pretend to know how or why it works, I can only say that in my case it worked miracles, and I am as skeptical as they come. I've also had other friends see my therapist in London and they've all had similar results.

Anyone who would like any further information just send me a memo.

8 Feb 10, 9:37 AM
TheKey
UK(N), 4 yrs
MrVice wrote:
I almost forgot to mention, I've tried many different things over the years since I was 16 trying to learn how to deal with anxiety, but none were even close to how effective Cognitive Behavioral Therapy was:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cognitive_behaviora...

While I'm not going to pretend to know how or why it works, I can only say that in my case it worked miracles, and I am as skeptical as they come. I've also had other friends see my therapist in London and they've all had similar results.

Anyone who would like any further information just send me a memo.

Just got a CBT book for a late christmas present from @bambam who recommends it just as heartily to help with all sorts of things including anxiety.

Check out @The_Art_Forum

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