This post is on the D/s & M/s web board.
| Sun 7 Feb 10, 10:00 PM fetboyslim 2 yrs  |
I suffer from periodic anxiety and at times it can get severe. I have experienced light BDSM with a former girlfriend, but wish to explore futher and like the idea of humiliation and being caned/whipped, foot worship etc. Do subs who suffer anxiety have to approach BDSM with severe caution in senarios such as tying up etc.? | |
| 7 Feb 10, 10:05 PM polly_pocket UK(CF), 2 yrs  |
I think it would depend on what past experiences underpin the anxiety unless its just a generilised anxiety.Also the level of trust would have a huge impact. polly | |
| 7 Feb 10, 10:07 PM fetboyslim 2 yrs |
It is generalised anxiety! | |
| 7 Feb 10, 10:17 PM Doghouse_Reilly UK(MK), 6 yrs |
Well if you're tied up you can't go anywhere, so it's no biggie. If you can keep your head while all about you are losing theirs and blaming it on you, you might want to stop waving that axe around. | |
| 7 Feb 10, 10:20 PM jules9 UK(CH), 2 yrs    |
I'd just be sure that you have an easy escape route, a traffic light type safe words system (if you use them) and that you communicate, communicate, communicate if you start to feel an attack coming on. Where there's a will there's a way, and I'm sure you'll find yours, just take it nice and slowly! XxX | |
| 7 Feb 10, 11:28 PM Fitznicely UK(B), 2 yrs |
There's no law says you HAVE to be tied up...If I were to play with someone with high anxiety, I'd need to be sure of their trust, I'd need to know trigger situations, tried and tested routines or rituals the person had for dealing with stressful situations and how best to bring them down from an attack. The best way of doing this is by getting to know them reasonably well. The only thing I'd be catious of, OP, would be someone who wants to rush you into a scene before doing that. Actually, that's kind of a rule of thumb anyway, isn't it? You know they say it's always the quiet ones you have to watch? That's me. | |
| 7 Feb 10, 11:34 PM anncat UK(ST), 7 yrs |
thats kinda what i was just going to say. | |
| 7 Feb 10, 11:34 PM totallycoverme UK(M), 4 yrs |
I've had panic attacks before (not so much these days) and I'm always suprised that for whatever reason, I've not really had a full on panic attack when practing bdsm. I don't know if that's because deep down I feel assured in what I'm doing or whether it's the adrenalin but yeah, so far, I'm pleased to say (well kind of) that my panic attacks all happened in far less likely contexts in bdsm.
What I'm saying is, if you have anxiety, only you know how you deal with this but don't let it stop you embracing bdsm as you may be suprised at the extent to which it may or may not appear in this context It's nice to be important, but it's more important to be nice | |
| 7 Feb 10, 11:36 PM Thistle US, 4 yrs |
Any submissive should approach BDSM with a certain amount of caution and a lot of self-knowledge. Check in with yourself often and - here's the hard part - be honest with yourself when you do it. love the brave but avoid cowards, knowing the gratitude of cowards is small ~Praxilla of Sicyon | |
| 7 Feb 10, 11:43 PM OllieVW  2 yrs |
I have OCD which is realted to anxiety, only time its effected me was WAITING for a beating Fear & Stressed to fuck. You know yourself so id say take one step at a time, learn enjoy if you have an episode then learn from it.
Have fun
Hit me with your rhythm stick.
Hit me! Hit me!
Je t'adore, ich liebe dich,
Hit me! hit me! hit me!
Hit me with your rhythm stick.
Hit me slowly, hit me quick.
Hit me! Hit me! Hit me! | |
| 7 Feb 10, 11:43 PM MrVice UK(SW), 4 yrs |
I've had various anxiety difficulties over the years and I've never had any problems in BDSM; in fact quite the contrary that I feel an extreme deep relaxation though this was in a group I knew and trusted well. The few times I've bottomed I did wonder as well what the effect would be, but at least in my case anxiety was not a problem and again, quite to the contrary, I felt an extreme deep relaxation. Make sure your top is aware of your anxiety, and they should act accordingly; I'd also suggest they make extra effort in aftercare. Vx |
